my parents, the most considerate, affectionate, supportive, and loving people I know. I hope that I be half as good a parent as they are.
my husband, my best friend, my strength, my life companion, who has made me love my life again. [J and I got married in August. Long story short, he proposed on the eve of July 4th. We decided to get married next summer but my younger sister talked us into getting married before they did! We had a beautiful wedding in my parent's backyard. It was magical. Everything just came together so seamlessly smooth and perfect. Even my dress, it took us just visiting one store, and trying on one dress, for me to purchase my wedding dress, lol.]
becoming a mother for the first time; I can't wait to meet our son in about four months.
my three beautiful, thoughtful, compassionate, caring sisters, my three wonderful brother-in-laws, and my amazing nieces and nephews.
my three loving, nonjudgmental, kind best friends.
my mother and father in-law, and my sister and brother in-law and their families. I have known them less than a year, and it is as if I have known and loved them my whole life.
the health and happiness of my little family and our growing extended family.
still owning my house and having the best tenant one can have.
being almost done with my MS degree, hoping to complete my thesis in about four weeks [It doesn't look good thought! I get tired fast. My back hurts all the time, and I can't sleep for more than three hours at a time!]
having an incredibly knowledgeable and smart thesis advisor who has guided me and taught me so much, even though he is dealing with health issues. I pray for his health every night.
my freedom
my hopes and dreams
having hopes that I can continue to a Ph.D. program [I am applying for next fall, not in my current department, but my undergraduate department]
my life the way I hoped and dreamed about it my whole life.
Happy Thanksgiving everyone.
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
Friday, July 22, 2011
Anger and Hope!
When I realized that my marriage was over, so many years ago, I was very angry. I was angry at myself first for not getting to know my then husband before marrying him, and I was angry at him for knowing full well he never ever wanted kids and he didn't mention it to me!
Now looking back, I don't fault either of us! We were young, in love, and so wrapped in our careers, that everything else came secondary. When we got married, even though we had been dating for couple of years and had been living together for a few months, we had not thought or talked about marriage seriously.
While on vacation, in a whim he asked me to marry him! I countered let's get married here and now. Conveniently we were in Vegas so making it official was easy. He later told me that he had not thought about or planned on asking me to marry him, it was just an impulse! He said he wanted and thought that I too wanted a big-planned wedding and was very surprised by my reaction.
Anyhow, my angry did not go away after my divorce was finalized. I hold on to those feelings for a very long time. Now I feel very foolish!
Last week, I watched a few clips of Diane Sawyer interviewing Jaycee Dugard, who was abducted at age 11, and was abused physically and emotionally for 18 years. One thing that I noticed from that interview was that Jaycee wasn't angry at her abductors. She said she had felt scarred, sad, and very lonely while under captivity, but she never said that she was/is angry! Diane Sawyer mentioned that her memoir is coming out, so I went to Amazon to place an order. I got delighted when I saw that an audiobook version of her book is also available and even more pleased when I saw that she is reading it. Thus I got it right away, put what I was listening to on hold, to start listening to Jaycee's story.
Again in the book she never says she is/was angry. And actually at the end she says, I don't want to pollute my body with feeling of anger. How amazingly smart she is.
I don't want to compare my situation to Jaycee's, just our state of minds! Here she is rubbed out of her innocence, her childhood, her teenage years, her high school years, almost all of her 20s, for 18 years being in fear, missing her mother, and before the birth of her children feeling lonely all the time, and she is not angry.
On the other hand, my time with my ex, so full of love, fun, excitement, and I was angry at him for not wanting to start a family with me, forgetting that he had given me the best years of my life, up to that point! Well I guess I was angry that it had come to an end!
Anyhow, I am not sure when the anger went away, but it is gone completely. Right now I am so happy. Right now I don't regret my past and don't want to change a thing in my past because then I wouldn't be where I am right now! Where I am right now is full of happiness and full of hope for an amazingly great future.
I guess some of my anger was also because of the fact that my ex had talked me out of going to graduate school in favor of spending the school tuition on a European vacation! So every time I felt inadequate at work, every time someone with a master's or PhD was respected and I wasn't, I got angry at my ex!
What kept me from functioning these past few years has been the hope that I could go back to school, that I could get my master's, and also that I could meet a great man, that we would start a family, and that we would grow old together.
Right now I am on the path that all my hopes are coming true finally.
Jaycee too had hoped! Her hope for the future allowed her to survive her ordeal. I highly recommend her book. It is so honest, and she clearly explains how she survived all those years, and how she sees her future and her family's future now.
Now looking back, I don't fault either of us! We were young, in love, and so wrapped in our careers, that everything else came secondary. When we got married, even though we had been dating for couple of years and had been living together for a few months, we had not thought or talked about marriage seriously.
While on vacation, in a whim he asked me to marry him! I countered let's get married here and now. Conveniently we were in Vegas so making it official was easy. He later told me that he had not thought about or planned on asking me to marry him, it was just an impulse! He said he wanted and thought that I too wanted a big-planned wedding and was very surprised by my reaction.
Anyhow, my angry did not go away after my divorce was finalized. I hold on to those feelings for a very long time. Now I feel very foolish!
Last week, I watched a few clips of Diane Sawyer interviewing Jaycee Dugard, who was abducted at age 11, and was abused physically and emotionally for 18 years. One thing that I noticed from that interview was that Jaycee wasn't angry at her abductors. She said she had felt scarred, sad, and very lonely while under captivity, but she never said that she was/is angry! Diane Sawyer mentioned that her memoir is coming out, so I went to Amazon to place an order. I got delighted when I saw that an audiobook version of her book is also available and even more pleased when I saw that she is reading it. Thus I got it right away, put what I was listening to on hold, to start listening to Jaycee's story.
Again in the book she never says she is/was angry. And actually at the end she says, I don't want to pollute my body with feeling of anger. How amazingly smart she is.
I don't want to compare my situation to Jaycee's, just our state of minds! Here she is rubbed out of her innocence, her childhood, her teenage years, her high school years, almost all of her 20s, for 18 years being in fear, missing her mother, and before the birth of her children feeling lonely all the time, and she is not angry.
On the other hand, my time with my ex, so full of love, fun, excitement, and I was angry at him for not wanting to start a family with me, forgetting that he had given me the best years of my life, up to that point! Well I guess I was angry that it had come to an end!
Anyhow, I am not sure when the anger went away, but it is gone completely. Right now I am so happy. Right now I don't regret my past and don't want to change a thing in my past because then I wouldn't be where I am right now! Where I am right now is full of happiness and full of hope for an amazingly great future.
I guess some of my anger was also because of the fact that my ex had talked me out of going to graduate school in favor of spending the school tuition on a European vacation! So every time I felt inadequate at work, every time someone with a master's or PhD was respected and I wasn't, I got angry at my ex!
What kept me from functioning these past few years has been the hope that I could go back to school, that I could get my master's, and also that I could meet a great man, that we would start a family, and that we would grow old together.
Right now I am on the path that all my hopes are coming true finally.
Jaycee too had hoped! Her hope for the future allowed her to survive her ordeal. I highly recommend her book. It is so honest, and she clearly explains how she survived all those years, and how she sees her future and her family's future now.
Sunday, July 10, 2011
Starting over!
It is hard to start over!
I guess growing up we learn that we are expected to do certain things at certain times. As a kid and teenager we are told that we have to go to school. At school we learn that is more fun to have friends; we learn a boyfriend is a must in high school! We are told to study hard to get into college. Once in college we are told to study hard to be ready for our future. When our education is successfully completed we are expected to get a job, earn a living, and be successful. Once our career is on the right track, we are expected to make our personal life successful too, to commit and get married, start a family, buy a house, etc.
Most people are lucky and follow the "right" path, the rest of us that somehow get off it, it could become very hard to get back on it again! We have to start from somewhere and that starting point could be difficult!
Obviously I am among the crowd that did not take the expected path and had to start over if I wanted to feel satisfied! I come back to school to bring my education to a level that I am more comfortable with. I have to say, it has been hard for me to sit in classes that I knew everyone was so much younger than me. At first I even thought my teachers were going to be younger than me, but that hasn't happened yet, lol.
In my classes since nobody actually talked to anyone much, it got easy and little by little I forgot about how old I am! But now that I am working in the lab with sociable friendly people, not that I am complaining, lol, but sometimes when I say something I get embarrassed by it!
For example, last week we were talking about the 4th of July celebration. One of my lab mates was very excited to be in the city this year for the first time and was very excited about seeing the fireworks. He asked me if I was excited to go see the fireworks. I told him that I was actually heading out of the town, but told him yes, watching fireworks is exciting. Then I told him that back in 1999 I was working for a company that was located near where the fireworks are played and everyone was invited to watch the fireworks from the rooftop of the building where we worked. I told him it was an amazing site and I had lots of fun that year. Then I remembered back in 1999 my 23 year old lab mate was an 11 year old boy! And now here we are doing more or less the same thing!
I can't wait for the next six months to be over, and successfully, so that I could hopefully be back on a path that maybe I am more comfortable being on.
I guess growing up we learn that we are expected to do certain things at certain times. As a kid and teenager we are told that we have to go to school. At school we learn that is more fun to have friends; we learn a boyfriend is a must in high school! We are told to study hard to get into college. Once in college we are told to study hard to be ready for our future. When our education is successfully completed we are expected to get a job, earn a living, and be successful. Once our career is on the right track, we are expected to make our personal life successful too, to commit and get married, start a family, buy a house, etc.
Most people are lucky and follow the "right" path, the rest of us that somehow get off it, it could become very hard to get back on it again! We have to start from somewhere and that starting point could be difficult!
Obviously I am among the crowd that did not take the expected path and had to start over if I wanted to feel satisfied! I come back to school to bring my education to a level that I am more comfortable with. I have to say, it has been hard for me to sit in classes that I knew everyone was so much younger than me. At first I even thought my teachers were going to be younger than me, but that hasn't happened yet, lol.
In my classes since nobody actually talked to anyone much, it got easy and little by little I forgot about how old I am! But now that I am working in the lab with sociable friendly people, not that I am complaining, lol, but sometimes when I say something I get embarrassed by it!
For example, last week we were talking about the 4th of July celebration. One of my lab mates was very excited to be in the city this year for the first time and was very excited about seeing the fireworks. He asked me if I was excited to go see the fireworks. I told him that I was actually heading out of the town, but told him yes, watching fireworks is exciting. Then I told him that back in 1999 I was working for a company that was located near where the fireworks are played and everyone was invited to watch the fireworks from the rooftop of the building where we worked. I told him it was an amazing site and I had lots of fun that year. Then I remembered back in 1999 my 23 year old lab mate was an 11 year old boy! And now here we are doing more or less the same thing!
I can't wait for the next six months to be over, and successfully, so that I could hopefully be back on a path that maybe I am more comfortable being on.
Second 5K race.
I run my second race yesterday. I am really happy with my time, 27:37. My goal was to shave 2 minutes from my time; I did better than that.
Unlike my first race there was no drama, lol. I stayed at my oldest sister's the night before my race. I did wake up a few times through the night, but I felt asleep right away. For my first race I was up most of the night. Anyhow, in the morning, my sister, my niece, and I went to the race.
Shortly after we got there, my friends arrived and while we were joking and laughing, it was time to start. We lined up and started together. I run with them for about 1/3 of the mile, averaged 11 minute mile, then I felt good enough that I decided to push myself. The next two miles I averaged 8.6 and 8.9 minute mile respectively, and the remaining distance I averaged 8.1! Yes, I can't believe it myself. I am so proud of my accomplishment.
My next race is a 5 miler in three weeks.
Unlike my first race there was no drama, lol. I stayed at my oldest sister's the night before my race. I did wake up a few times through the night, but I felt asleep right away. For my first race I was up most of the night. Anyhow, in the morning, my sister, my niece, and I went to the race.
Shortly after we got there, my friends arrived and while we were joking and laughing, it was time to start. We lined up and started together. I run with them for about 1/3 of the mile, averaged 11 minute mile, then I felt good enough that I decided to push myself. The next two miles I averaged 8.6 and 8.9 minute mile respectively, and the remaining distance I averaged 8.1! Yes, I can't believe it myself. I am so proud of my accomplishment.
My next race is a 5 miler in three weeks.
Friday, July 8, 2011
Movie Review: Bridesmaids!
Last Tuesday just after noon we lost power at school. At first I didn't care, the lab has big windows, so we were OK for light, and I was working on my computer with full batteries and didn't need the internet. But then it got very warm very quickly to the point that it was hard to breath. So I headed out to come to my parents for a little while when I run into my friendliest first year classmate and now good friend.
She said she was heading to the mall to do some shopping and grab something to eat. She was positive that the power would return within half an hour. So I decided to tagalong with her, killing some time and hoped that by the time we return there would be power.
At the mall, I decided not to buy any more clothing stuff, for one I am hoping that in couple of weeks all the summer pieces shall be ridiculously cheap and so I could indulge, and for another I am hopeful that by then I have lost all the weight that I am going to lose and thus I shall be buying cloths that would fit me for a long time. All the cloths that I got in May are all too baggy now.
So after my friend did her shopping, we got lunch to go, and were about to head back to school when my friend's housemate called to ask if she could get a ride home since the power had not returned yet at school! I asked my friend if she would just drop me off at a bus stop, but she suggested that we catch a movie; the movie theater was only two blocks away from the mall. I thought why not, I had already started being in the mode of holiday and celebration!
We drove to the theater and I saw this movie was still showing, so I thought it must be doing well that it is still on, and concluded that it must be funny and good! The showtime was about 40 minutes away, so we decided to wait while we eat our lunch.
From the get go I didn't like the movie, and probably would have left after about 20 minutes, if I thought my friend too wasn't enjoying the movie! But she was. She was laughing and absorbed into the movie. So I kept quiet, and decided not to ruin it for her.
The movie was long. Afterward I checked and it is a bit more than 2 hours long!
I felt the scenes were dragging and instead of being funny, they were annoying.
The story is about two best friends Lillian and Annie. Lillian is getting married and Annie is the maid of honor. They were such a close good friends that Lillian just assumed Annie is her maid of honor.
At the party to introduce close family and friends to each other, Annie is introduced to other bridesmaids. That is the part that my problem with the movie started! I thought if Annie and Lillian were such a close friends shouldn't Annie know Lillian's future sister-in-law already, since Lillian had been dating her fiancé for a while by then!
The other bridesmaid, Helen, was the new wife of the groom's boss, and she wanted to be Lillian's new best friend.
Anyhow, during the party the father of the bride toasted the bride and the groom and then asked the maid of honor to say a few words. I guess Annie was nervous and decided to make the toast short and sweet. Then Helen decided to make a toast. And the childish behavior that got me annoyed started here! After Helen, Annie took the stage and decided to outdo Helen. Then Helen went on to make herself look good in Lillian's eyes. These two took turns making one toast after another, for few more times, each one hoping to have the last word! It was suppose to be a funny scene but to me it actually wasn't funny at all.
So anyhow, would I recommend this movie to my friends, yes, but only when it is on DVD or on Demand, thus one would have a control of the remote and is able to fast forward if it got annoying!
Next movie review shall be Larry Crowne. I have already seen it and thought it was OK.
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
I am getting a new bike.
I had a bike! I left it at my parents after I moved in with my ex, long long time ago! My parents kept it until a few years back and then after making sure I didn't want it anymore they gave it away.
J is an avid biker. He has mentioned a few times that I should get a bike. So I just ordered this one:
I LOVE 4th of July!
I didn't think it was possible for me to love the 4th of July holiday more than I already did. Apparently it is possible! Starting this year I am loving 4th of July 100 folds more than I did last year.
Sunday, June 26, 2011
My first 5K Race
I run my first race yesterday and despite not being into it couple of days prior to the race, and totally ready to skip it, I did well. Seriously, I would have been a no show if I had not talked my best friends into running the race, and so because of them I couldn't not run!
Last week was not a good week! After three weeks I met with both my professors face to face. And both of them, separately, told me that I should take advantage of having lab-mates, that I should discuss with them my projects, get their opinions, and if I am stuck somewhere, to ask them for help, and not to waste valuable time trying to figure everything out on my own!
Right away these advices got translated in my mind as my professors being disappointed in my progress! I was able to handle one professor's constructive criticism but when the second one voiced the same concern, I got really mad at myself.
My critical internal voice is very brutal and unforgiving! In my own eyes I could suddenly become the biggest failure there is! So I started blaming myself that I was going to fail my project, I was going to fail my thesis, and thus fail in finishing my program, and thus fail in finding my next exciting and challenging job.
I am embarrassed to admit that being almost 40 years old, and having worked with some difficult people for almost 20 years, I have not yet learned to have a thick skin, to not take criticism too personally, to appreciate and take advantage of it instead, to accept and try to fix my shortcomings, to learn from my mistakes before they become a gigantic failure. But no, I take criticism very personally, and react to it in a passive aggressive manner. I suddenly want to distance myself from everyone so that I could put myself down all by myself!
One of the ways I am able to quite my internal voice is to eat. So Thursday night when I headed out to go home, having forgotten to eat lunch, I started thinking about ice cream, chocolate cake, tiramisu, and cheese cake. I was trying to decide if I want to go to a grocery store to buy these or should I find the nearest Burger King to go for a double cheese burger, extra large fries, and extra large regular Pepsi! Good thing I am broke, so I talked myself out of spending money, while thinking about my upcoming tuition I went home.
Another way I can quite my internal voice is to have a good cry! And so I started having a pity party for myself and cried for a good couple of hours.
Friday morning I had no energy to get up and go for a run. But decided to put on my running shoes and just go for a walk. After a few minutes suddenly I wanted to just run. So I did, lol! I hadn't eaten anything since the previous morning and so truly I had no energy to go far or fast, I run about 2.25 miles in half an hour.
After my run I decided to stick to my usual routine as much as I could and looked forward to J's visit. Thankfully, J had decided to come early, and just after 2 pm he called and said that he was here. I was so excited. I had not eaten lunch yet, so we headed out and had lunch while sitting outside. Thankfully, it had stopped raining.
I told J what my professors had advised me and asked him how much he thinks they were disappointed in me? He said that he does not know my professors personally, but most professors he knows, if they are disappointed in their students, they clearly voice their disappointments. He said that he thinks my professors can see that I am working hard, and am trying, and they are just pointing out to me the options that are available to me. I asked him if he too advices his students to approach their classmates or himself when they are having problems? He laughed and said, he has advised a few of his students in the opposite way, as in he has advised them to think about the problem they are trying to solve for a while before approaching someone for help!
J told me to approach my project and my thesis the same way I had approached my work projects. That is actually what I tried to do last week, to arrange a quite place for myself to think, to set a deadline for myself, and basically to give my day some structure.
I realized something! When I first started working in the mid 90s, if I encountered a problem, right away I turned to my colleagues or my boss for a solution. If they too had no idea, then I turned to texts or manuals. But the past few years, I had frequented a few forums and whenever I had problems, I would search those forums for a possible solution. Usually I could find not one but several solutions, and as a result, I always learned a few new things that I never thought I should know!
However, I think the difference between problem solving in industry and academia is that in industry, the problem one is facing, probably has been solved by 100s of people before; people who had taken pride in their work and had decided to share their solutions for others benefits on various forums. However in academia the problem one is facing, the way one is approaching it, probably is being worked on by only a handful of people. It is highly possible that there have been no publications yet. It is also highly possible that one of those handful of people working on the same problem is very well a lab-mate, so why not turn to him/her for help!
Yes, I felt very foolish taking such a simple suggestion by my professors so out of context! I thought to myself what J thinks of me; that I am such a child, that I am such a drama queen, that I am so immature!
Friday night we went to my parents for dinner, and I was fortune enough to be busy and not think about my foolishness. Once we go home however, the brutal internal voice was back! I tossed and turned the whole night, thinking I am going to lose J, why would he wants to be with such an immature drama queen, and I don't think I can survive losing him! The morning could have not come soon enough! Finally I got up at my usual time when J declared that he wants to run the race too.
Our plan was for my best friends and me to run, and for J and my friends' families to meet us at the finish line.
J declared that he is so ready to break the men's record! I hold back not to laugh; I knew the records, for men it is less than 15 minutes! No reflection on J, but I don't think too many men can run that fast! He asked don't I think he can beat that time? I told him, I only know that he was going to run his best, and I was going to run my best while trying to keep up with him! It felt so good, thinking positive, believing in my capabilities!
I text my friends that we were going to see them at the race's starting line. The venue was one hour drive away from us. So around 6 am J and I headed out. Stopped for tea and beagles on the way and got there right around 7:30 for J to register and for us to pick up our numbers and t-shirts.
Then my best friends got there and we were all ready to run. It was raining, windy and cold. But I kept up with J and finished at 29:46. My goal was to finish sub 30 minutes and I made it. I knew J just run the race to be by my side. I am not sure if I could have run this well if J was not by my side.
If I could give one advice to runners training for their first race, I would tell them to have a partner, or 2 or 3; the more the merrier. Having a running partner to train with and run the race with is priceless. As I said I don't think I would have run the race if it was not for my best friends running it too, and I wouldn't have run so well, for me, if it was not for J setting my speed.
I just remembered something! I was reading about an interview, last week, with the first lady. She was asked what advice she gives her daughters when they fall in love. She said, "Choose people who will lift you up. Find people who will make you better." I can't believe how lucky I am to have found someone who believes in me and who helps me and encourages me to be better in everything I want to do. I want to be able to return the same to J!
Last week was not a good week! After three weeks I met with both my professors face to face. And both of them, separately, told me that I should take advantage of having lab-mates, that I should discuss with them my projects, get their opinions, and if I am stuck somewhere, to ask them for help, and not to waste valuable time trying to figure everything out on my own!
Right away these advices got translated in my mind as my professors being disappointed in my progress! I was able to handle one professor's constructive criticism but when the second one voiced the same concern, I got really mad at myself.
My critical internal voice is very brutal and unforgiving! In my own eyes I could suddenly become the biggest failure there is! So I started blaming myself that I was going to fail my project, I was going to fail my thesis, and thus fail in finishing my program, and thus fail in finding my next exciting and challenging job.
I am embarrassed to admit that being almost 40 years old, and having worked with some difficult people for almost 20 years, I have not yet learned to have a thick skin, to not take criticism too personally, to appreciate and take advantage of it instead, to accept and try to fix my shortcomings, to learn from my mistakes before they become a gigantic failure. But no, I take criticism very personally, and react to it in a passive aggressive manner. I suddenly want to distance myself from everyone so that I could put myself down all by myself!
One of the ways I am able to quite my internal voice is to eat. So Thursday night when I headed out to go home, having forgotten to eat lunch, I started thinking about ice cream, chocolate cake, tiramisu, and cheese cake. I was trying to decide if I want to go to a grocery store to buy these or should I find the nearest Burger King to go for a double cheese burger, extra large fries, and extra large regular Pepsi! Good thing I am broke, so I talked myself out of spending money, while thinking about my upcoming tuition I went home.
Another way I can quite my internal voice is to have a good cry! And so I started having a pity party for myself and cried for a good couple of hours.
Friday morning I had no energy to get up and go for a run. But decided to put on my running shoes and just go for a walk. After a few minutes suddenly I wanted to just run. So I did, lol! I hadn't eaten anything since the previous morning and so truly I had no energy to go far or fast, I run about 2.25 miles in half an hour.
After my run I decided to stick to my usual routine as much as I could and looked forward to J's visit. Thankfully, J had decided to come early, and just after 2 pm he called and said that he was here. I was so excited. I had not eaten lunch yet, so we headed out and had lunch while sitting outside. Thankfully, it had stopped raining.
I told J what my professors had advised me and asked him how much he thinks they were disappointed in me? He said that he does not know my professors personally, but most professors he knows, if they are disappointed in their students, they clearly voice their disappointments. He said that he thinks my professors can see that I am working hard, and am trying, and they are just pointing out to me the options that are available to me. I asked him if he too advices his students to approach their classmates or himself when they are having problems? He laughed and said, he has advised a few of his students in the opposite way, as in he has advised them to think about the problem they are trying to solve for a while before approaching someone for help!
J told me to approach my project and my thesis the same way I had approached my work projects. That is actually what I tried to do last week, to arrange a quite place for myself to think, to set a deadline for myself, and basically to give my day some structure.
I realized something! When I first started working in the mid 90s, if I encountered a problem, right away I turned to my colleagues or my boss for a solution. If they too had no idea, then I turned to texts or manuals. But the past few years, I had frequented a few forums and whenever I had problems, I would search those forums for a possible solution. Usually I could find not one but several solutions, and as a result, I always learned a few new things that I never thought I should know!
However, I think the difference between problem solving in industry and academia is that in industry, the problem one is facing, probably has been solved by 100s of people before; people who had taken pride in their work and had decided to share their solutions for others benefits on various forums. However in academia the problem one is facing, the way one is approaching it, probably is being worked on by only a handful of people. It is highly possible that there have been no publications yet. It is also highly possible that one of those handful of people working on the same problem is very well a lab-mate, so why not turn to him/her for help!
Yes, I felt very foolish taking such a simple suggestion by my professors so out of context! I thought to myself what J thinks of me; that I am such a child, that I am such a drama queen, that I am so immature!
Friday night we went to my parents for dinner, and I was fortune enough to be busy and not think about my foolishness. Once we go home however, the brutal internal voice was back! I tossed and turned the whole night, thinking I am going to lose J, why would he wants to be with such an immature drama queen, and I don't think I can survive losing him! The morning could have not come soon enough! Finally I got up at my usual time when J declared that he wants to run the race too.
Our plan was for my best friends and me to run, and for J and my friends' families to meet us at the finish line.
J declared that he is so ready to break the men's record! I hold back not to laugh; I knew the records, for men it is less than 15 minutes! No reflection on J, but I don't think too many men can run that fast! He asked don't I think he can beat that time? I told him, I only know that he was going to run his best, and I was going to run my best while trying to keep up with him! It felt so good, thinking positive, believing in my capabilities!
I text my friends that we were going to see them at the race's starting line. The venue was one hour drive away from us. So around 6 am J and I headed out. Stopped for tea and beagles on the way and got there right around 7:30 for J to register and for us to pick up our numbers and t-shirts.
Then my best friends got there and we were all ready to run. It was raining, windy and cold. But I kept up with J and finished at 29:46. My goal was to finish sub 30 minutes and I made it. I knew J just run the race to be by my side. I am not sure if I could have run this well if J was not by my side.
If I could give one advice to runners training for their first race, I would tell them to have a partner, or 2 or 3; the more the merrier. Having a running partner to train with and run the race with is priceless. As I said I don't think I would have run the race if it was not for my best friends running it too, and I wouldn't have run so well, for me, if it was not for J setting my speed.
I just remembered something! I was reading about an interview, last week, with the first lady. She was asked what advice she gives her daughters when they fall in love. She said, "Choose people who will lift you up. Find people who will make you better." I can't believe how lucky I am to have found someone who believes in me and who helps me and encourages me to be better in everything I want to do. I want to be able to return the same to J!
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Happy father's day and a few other things!
- I am so grateful for my dad. He is and has always been someone I can turn to for encouragement, support, and guidance. I have been very lucky. I LOVE my dad and I show him and tell him every chance I get. He is the one who tells me all the time it is never too late to start something new! Even though I never voiced it out loud that I was thinking about graduate school, also thinking I was too old to go for it, whenever we were alone, my dad always had encouraging words for me to take a chance, to step outside my comfort zone, to try and find my happiness again. I think the happiness and satisfaction I feel right now in my life, for a large portion, is because of all his encouragement. I cannot tell my dad enough times how much I love him and appreciate him.
- Our small running group is going strong. We have met three weeks now. I picked a reservoir for us to run around where two loops is a 5K. The first week my two best friends and I met around 6:30 in the morning. The weather was amazing. I run with them, keeping our speed to around 13 minute miles. They were able to keep up for two rounds and didn't need to take walking breaks. Then they walked while I run another two loops. That was my third week running six miles. Thankfully, my friends enjoyed the run. We then went for a big breakfast, and it was so much fun sitting there and talking.
Last week J was in town and I told my best friends that he was going to join us. So their husbands decided to join us to make it a couples run. We started later in the morning, so that my friends' kids would wakeup, have breakfast, and have a babysitter, before their parents can head out. It was raining the entire time we run, we were soaked wet. J and I run five loops. After the run we decided to go home, clean up and then meet again for lunch. We had a great time, and J fit right in.
This week it was the three of us again. We run the first three loops together, averaging 12 minute miles. Then I took off for another two loops and finished in little over hour and half, 92 minutes and 14 seconds to be exact, lol. The weather was great, a bit on the cool side and enjoyable. We then went for a over an hour breakfast and were done by 9 am. I just love this time of the year when you can feel you have accomplished a lot by 9 am, lol!
The coming Saturday is our first race. Yes, my best friends also registered for the race and so we all shall run it. We are starting together, but probably are going to separate, since we decided to push ourselves to run our best run. Hopefully it would be lots of fun. I am getting a bit nervous, but I am glad I would be with my best friends! J shall be here next weekend.
- According to my mom's scale I have lost over 6 pounds in the last five weeks. My skinny jean is becoming more comfortable. I thought it was my imagination, lol, I thought I was getting used to it, but I have lost weight. I am really happy with this loss. I am very surprised at the rate I am losing now; as I am getting closer to my healthy weight, I am losing faster! I think there are three factors helping me lose weight at this stage: detox I did in April (I shall write about it in detail later), running over 25 miles a week, and drinking lots of water. Of course I am still following a vegan diet mostly, so I think that helps too. I like to lose another 6 pounds to go under 120, and then I am letting my body decide on the rest.
- My research and project are not proceeding successfully! I have been getting distracted easily; working in close proximity with few other people who are very sociable and like to discuss their works often, is enjoyable and distracting at the same time. It had not help that my fellow lab-mates kept interrupting me to ask questions about the tool I told them I know well and offered to answer any questions they might have. They have been asking the same questions over and over again! Not having a deadline, or weekly meeting with my professors to keep me accountable, has also contributed to the difficulty of staying motivated and concentrating on my work.
I know it is not a good time to slack off. I needed to make changes! As a starting point, I asked my lab-mates to email me their questions, and I told them I would get the answer to them that same day, but might not be right away! I also created a Q&A page with the questions that had already been asked and the answers I provided so that they could refer to that page before sending me their questions. Even if they decided not to read that page, I could easily get the answer from that page when replying to them. Hopefully, this would take care of the problem of questions from my fellow lab-mates.
I have also been thinking, starting tomorrow, I should go the library in the morning, to have a quite uninterrupted few hours to read and think about my thesis/project. Then make it to the lab around lunch time, since I enjoy being part of our little group, having lively people around me. This way I am getting my work done, hopefully, but I am not making myself be alone and isolated all the time. Also, I have decided to try and write at least a page of my thoughts and understanding of my morning readings every day.
Hopefully these changes would help me progress better.
- About the Syrian blogger I talked about a few posts down. I can't believe how wrong I was! According to the last post, the blogger was not Syrian, was not Arab, was not a woman, was not in Damascus, and was not captured and jailed because of the posts in that blog! In the last post the blogger apologized for the fiction that he had feed his readers in the name of truth, said he was a male, who was writing from Istanbul, Turkey, and his name apparently sounded Westerner! I never had a chance to go read that post, by the time my Syrian born lab-mate told me about it, the blogger had deleted the entire blog. According to my lab-mate he did not even understand the damage he had caused, how he had discredited other authentic bloggers, who were putting their lives on the line by blogging, while trying to inform the world what was happening to them, to their families, to their neighbors, and to their countrymen, describing how their government mercilessly kills young, old, men, women, and children, opening fire in the residential area, killing whoever was in front of them. But my lab-mate thinks even that last entry is a lie! She thinks the person behind the blog was in fact a woman who had Syrian ties, and who is living and going to school, in Scotland, since the IP address she used repeatedly at one sited that has been published it, is from the University of Edinburg!
- A few weeks ago I received an email from a former colleague, who is looking for a job! He was one of the two colleagues that I thought they would never have a problem of finding their next exciting and challenging jobs. They both implied that often they are approached by headhunters, former colleagues, and people they meet at various conferences they attend, asking them to consider other opportunities. The colleague who emailed me apparently has been looking for a permanent job since January, while still consulting. Apparently his consulting job concluded in mid May, and since then he has been looking for a job fulltime. I am very bothered by this. I am thinking if someone like him has been seriously looking for a job for over a month and has not been able to land one, I am in a bigger trouble than I thought I was. I shall write more about this later.
Friday, June 10, 2011
Advantage of living in the basement ...
no need for AC!
The tenant informed me last week that the AC is broken. I guess the hard winter that we had damaged it.
I called the technician who services my AC and heater every other year, who was at my place last year servicing the AC, and who I was hoping that I didn’t need to hire this year, and he being very busy this time of the year, could not make it until yesterday, another very hot day. I felt bad for my tenant.
Anyhow I notified my tenant upstairs that the technician shall be there yesterday. I said that he would fix the AC and leaves the bill. I asked them to please be home between the hours he said he would be there, and also asked them to give me the bill afterward.
The tenant emailed me back, said that she would be home, but asked that if I could be home too. She said she is not comfortable dealing with the technician!
So yesterday, in the hot and humid midday, I had to get home to wait for the technician. I got home about 10 minutes past the time he said he could come, and was hoping that he had not arrived yet. I rang the bell upstairs, and when I got in, boy was it hot.
I asked my tenant to come downstairs while we waited for the technician, and what a difference in temperature the upstairs and downstairs had. I made lemonade and we waited.
The technician came, fixed the AC, give me the bill for over $300, and my tenant was happy to feel the cool air pumped into the house.
My area was cool to begin with. lol.
Thursday, June 9, 2011
Fiction blogging!
I had no idea such blogs excited! Even though I am fairly new to having my own blog, I am not new to blog reading. I have been reading blogs, mostly weightloss blogs, for 7-8 years now.
I have a lab-mate who is originally from Syria. The few times that we have gone out to lunch as a group, I had an opportunity to talk to her. I was mostly interested on her take on the uprising in the Middle East and North Africa.
I had a Iranian born coworker, whose parents emigrated to the US when she was a toddler. Even though she said she could not speak Farsi well, but she said she was still very interested in the future of Iran, and so followed Iranian politics. Couple of years ago there was an uprising in Iran too, and she told me what was happening there.
I found it fascinating to get informed about current situation in Syria from my lab-mate to compare it to what I knew from the Iranian uprising!
Almost all my lab-mate's information come from blogs she reads of bloggers living in Syria. I thought that was a major difference between the Iranian bloggers, I had heard about, and the Syrian bloggers, during their uprisings. In Iran as soon as the uprising found momentum, all bloggers had to stop posting, since the internet speed was brought down to almost a halt by the Iranian government. Most my former colleague could find about the happenings in Iran, at that point, was by reading tweets, even those from people inside Iran were sporadic. My former colleague told me that Iranian in Iran coded their information to Iranian outside and those from the outside did the posting.
I actually became very impressed when my lab-mate told me that an American born woman, Amina, who has dual citizenship of US and Syria, has included her sexual orientation in her blog's title, posts under her full name, from Damascus! I thought she is so brave. The horror stories that I read/hear about how women are treated in that part of the world is terrifying even just reading/hearing it. I thought here is this woman, admitting that she is a lesbian, in a country that probably does not tolerate these kind of openness, especially from a woman, and she posts from within the country, when there is an uprising going on, criticizing the oppressed government, and posts under her real name. I was an instant admirer!
Earlier this week, my lab-mate informed me that Amina was abducted in broad daylight. Since then I have been following her story closely. International media had the story on their webpage couple of days ago, but since yesterday, there are doubts about Amina. Neither State Department nor media investigation have been able to find information about someone with that name born in the US. Some have voiced that she is not who she says she is! Even her being in Syria has gone under the question! Earlier in the week there was a picture of her circulating websites, a picture she had sent privately to someone she emailed regularly, pretending it was a picture of her, however later in the week, it is determined that the picture belong to a Croatian woman living in UK!
Here are a few links on the story: CNN, Guardian, Huffington Post, MSNBC.
My belief is that there is a woman, who has posted at A Gay Girl in Damascus, who is in Syria, where she was abducted on Monday. She might have not been able to post her posts directly, but I want to believe that she has written them all. And they are very much her honest thoughts.
To some extend I think it was smart of her not to give her real name. But then I have been thinking why didn't she just pick a name that would have been obvious it was an alias!
I have been wondering if she pretended that was her real name to make her blog more authentic! Would blog readers pay less attention to anonymous bloggers? Would blog readers pay less attention to bloggers who do not post a picture of themselves? Would blog readers pay less attention to bloggers who do not say where they live or what field they are in?
For me, as a reader, it has not mattered, if I think I know the real name of the blogger, or I know that the name they post under is an alias. It has not mattered if I know where they live, or if I know approximately where they are. It has not mattered if there was a face to go with their posts or not. And it has not mattered if I knew what they do exactly, or if I had guessed what they do.
For me, as a reader, as long as I was interested in the topic they write about, being it weight loss, surviving as a graduate student, entering industry after being in academia for a while, or vice versa, or running; I read their blogs regularly because of the contents of their posts. And as long as the blog I read provide suggestion, and motivational posts that I know I am learning from, I don't care what the bloggers' real names are.
Anyhow, one of the commenter at Amina's blog posted this link: http://bookmaniac.org/painful-doubts-about-amina/! That is where I learned the term fiction blogging!
I am kindof/sortof disturbed about this! I like to believe the little I know about the bloggers I read regularly is true. No one has twisted any blogger's arm to admit their real names, post a picture of themselves, disclose their whereabouts, or their job. Thus if the blogger does not want to say who she is, she is free to do so. Why pretend? As a blog reader I want to read an honest post, that is all it matters to me!
I have been thinking we have enough deception in the world, I always felt that the world of blogging was truly honest since it was anonymous. But I guess there is anomaly here too!
I have a lab-mate who is originally from Syria. The few times that we have gone out to lunch as a group, I had an opportunity to talk to her. I was mostly interested on her take on the uprising in the Middle East and North Africa.
I had a Iranian born coworker, whose parents emigrated to the US when she was a toddler. Even though she said she could not speak Farsi well, but she said she was still very interested in the future of Iran, and so followed Iranian politics. Couple of years ago there was an uprising in Iran too, and she told me what was happening there.
I found it fascinating to get informed about current situation in Syria from my lab-mate to compare it to what I knew from the Iranian uprising!
Almost all my lab-mate's information come from blogs she reads of bloggers living in Syria. I thought that was a major difference between the Iranian bloggers, I had heard about, and the Syrian bloggers, during their uprisings. In Iran as soon as the uprising found momentum, all bloggers had to stop posting, since the internet speed was brought down to almost a halt by the Iranian government. Most my former colleague could find about the happenings in Iran, at that point, was by reading tweets, even those from people inside Iran were sporadic. My former colleague told me that Iranian in Iran coded their information to Iranian outside and those from the outside did the posting.
I actually became very impressed when my lab-mate told me that an American born woman, Amina, who has dual citizenship of US and Syria, has included her sexual orientation in her blog's title, posts under her full name, from Damascus! I thought she is so brave. The horror stories that I read/hear about how women are treated in that part of the world is terrifying even just reading/hearing it. I thought here is this woman, admitting that she is a lesbian, in a country that probably does not tolerate these kind of openness, especially from a woman, and she posts from within the country, when there is an uprising going on, criticizing the oppressed government, and posts under her real name. I was an instant admirer!
Earlier this week, my lab-mate informed me that Amina was abducted in broad daylight. Since then I have been following her story closely. International media had the story on their webpage couple of days ago, but since yesterday, there are doubts about Amina. Neither State Department nor media investigation have been able to find information about someone with that name born in the US. Some have voiced that she is not who she says she is! Even her being in Syria has gone under the question! Earlier in the week there was a picture of her circulating websites, a picture she had sent privately to someone she emailed regularly, pretending it was a picture of her, however later in the week, it is determined that the picture belong to a Croatian woman living in UK!
Here are a few links on the story: CNN, Guardian, Huffington Post, MSNBC.
My belief is that there is a woman, who has posted at A Gay Girl in Damascus, who is in Syria, where she was abducted on Monday. She might have not been able to post her posts directly, but I want to believe that she has written them all. And they are very much her honest thoughts.
To some extend I think it was smart of her not to give her real name. But then I have been thinking why didn't she just pick a name that would have been obvious it was an alias!
I have been wondering if she pretended that was her real name to make her blog more authentic! Would blog readers pay less attention to anonymous bloggers? Would blog readers pay less attention to bloggers who do not post a picture of themselves? Would blog readers pay less attention to bloggers who do not say where they live or what field they are in?
For me, as a reader, it has not mattered, if I think I know the real name of the blogger, or I know that the name they post under is an alias. It has not mattered if I know where they live, or if I know approximately where they are. It has not mattered if there was a face to go with their posts or not. And it has not mattered if I knew what they do exactly, or if I had guessed what they do.
For me, as a reader, as long as I was interested in the topic they write about, being it weight loss, surviving as a graduate student, entering industry after being in academia for a while, or vice versa, or running; I read their blogs regularly because of the contents of their posts. And as long as the blog I read provide suggestion, and motivational posts that I know I am learning from, I don't care what the bloggers' real names are.
Anyhow, one of the commenter at Amina's blog posted this link: http://bookmaniac.org/painful-doubts-about-amina/! That is where I learned the term fiction blogging!
I am kindof/sortof disturbed about this! I like to believe the little I know about the bloggers I read regularly is true. No one has twisted any blogger's arm to admit their real names, post a picture of themselves, disclose their whereabouts, or their job. Thus if the blogger does not want to say who she is, she is free to do so. Why pretend? As a blog reader I want to read an honest post, that is all it matters to me!
I have been thinking we have enough deception in the world, I always felt that the world of blogging was truly honest since it was anonymous. But I guess there is anomaly here too!
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
Is vegetarian eating cheaper?
My older sister sent me this link and asked if I have saved on groceries since switching to vegetarian eating?
In this article the author has compared one day expenses of meat eaters against three forms of vegetarians: those vegetarian who include fish in their diet, those who don't eat any form of meat but include diary, and those (referred to as vegan) who eliminate any animal product in their diet. The author's conclusion is that vegan spend on the average about 27% less on groceries than their meat eater counterparts.
I am following the vegan diet. Actually, more accurately, I follow vegan diet when I am on my own; when I am at my parent's, sisters', or my best friends', and I don't have any other options, I do eat their meat dish. But lately, my mom especially, has tried to have a vegetarian option for me. Anyhow, the only difference between my typical day, and this article's typical vegan day, is that I have not tried any soy products yet.
My first impulse was to tell my sister, knowing approximately how much I had spend on groceries, during my first semester at school, in which I followed lowcarb way of eating, verses my second semester, in which I followed vegan diet, that my grocery expenses had more or less stayed the same.
In September, before school started, I went grocery shopping, got ingredients to make several dishes, and also 10 boxes of Atkins advantage bar from BJs. I divided the dishes I made, of 6 to 8 servings each, into approximately 35 servings, for 5 weeks worth of dinners. Atkins bar were for my breakfast, lunch, and snack, and I was hoping not to exceed 2 boxes (=30 bars) per week; thankfully, I went a bit less. Anyhow, I divided what I had spent on groceries that day by 5, and thought that was a reasonable weekly grocery budget.
The subsequent times that I went shopping, that semester, I tried to spend as much as I had spent the first time. I was successful and did not go too much over or under what I had planned.
Just before starting the second semester, I got inspired by one of my best friend's sister-in-law, who had lost a lot of weight after her pregnancy, and who was following a vegan diet, to become a vegetarian too, so I could continue to lose weight. I also felt that because of my limited kitchen, with no stove and small refrigerator, becoming vegan was ideal for me.
So I started going grocery shopping every week. On my way home from school, I would stop by the grocery and buy as much as I could comfortably carry home. If I couldn't do that in one trip, I would stop by the following night, to buy the rest of items I needed. I tried to stay within the limit of my weekly expenses that I had estimated the first semester.
The good thing is that I have been charging my groceries to the only one credit card I carry, to have a complete control over my expenses. Since my statements are convectively saved in a pdf format, I went to add up my grocery expenses between September 1 and December 15, to compare it with what I had spend between February 1 and May 15.
To my surprise there was over 23% difference between my two semesters grocery spending! I truly was amazed!
How come I did not noticed it?
I had estimated to spend about $60 +/- $5 per week on groceries. On the average I had spend $62 during the first semester and $53 during the second semester. During the second semester, I remember, a few weeks when I spent over $60, which I tried to mend by spending less the following week. I guess as long as I was staying somehow close to $60 mark I was OK. Actually, I think as long as I was spending less that was the best, lol! Anyhow, apparently during the second semester I mostly stayed lower while during the first semester I mostly stayed over, $60.
So yes, few dollar differences per week between the two semesters were not noticeable, but once adding them up, it is almost $170 difference, for the 3 and half month period. That is a great saving for an individual with no income.
Of course my comparison might not be completely accurate, since the number of nights I stayed at my parents during each semester is not taken into account. Also not taken into account is my careful observation of sales items during the second semester. Since I was going grocery shopping more often during the second semester, I tried to buy fruits and vegetables that were on sale that week.
So yes, I did save money; another benefit of begin vegan, lol! I LOVE it when I get a positive side effect that I had not considered when making my decision, lol.
In this article the author has compared one day expenses of meat eaters against three forms of vegetarians: those vegetarian who include fish in their diet, those who don't eat any form of meat but include diary, and those (referred to as vegan) who eliminate any animal product in their diet. The author's conclusion is that vegan spend on the average about 27% less on groceries than their meat eater counterparts.
I am following the vegan diet. Actually, more accurately, I follow vegan diet when I am on my own; when I am at my parent's, sisters', or my best friends', and I don't have any other options, I do eat their meat dish. But lately, my mom especially, has tried to have a vegetarian option for me. Anyhow, the only difference between my typical day, and this article's typical vegan day, is that I have not tried any soy products yet.
My first impulse was to tell my sister, knowing approximately how much I had spend on groceries, during my first semester at school, in which I followed lowcarb way of eating, verses my second semester, in which I followed vegan diet, that my grocery expenses had more or less stayed the same.
In September, before school started, I went grocery shopping, got ingredients to make several dishes, and also 10 boxes of Atkins advantage bar from BJs. I divided the dishes I made, of 6 to 8 servings each, into approximately 35 servings, for 5 weeks worth of dinners. Atkins bar were for my breakfast, lunch, and snack, and I was hoping not to exceed 2 boxes (=30 bars) per week; thankfully, I went a bit less. Anyhow, I divided what I had spent on groceries that day by 5, and thought that was a reasonable weekly grocery budget.
The subsequent times that I went shopping, that semester, I tried to spend as much as I had spent the first time. I was successful and did not go too much over or under what I had planned.
Just before starting the second semester, I got inspired by one of my best friend's sister-in-law, who had lost a lot of weight after her pregnancy, and who was following a vegan diet, to become a vegetarian too, so I could continue to lose weight. I also felt that because of my limited kitchen, with no stove and small refrigerator, becoming vegan was ideal for me.
So I started going grocery shopping every week. On my way home from school, I would stop by the grocery and buy as much as I could comfortably carry home. If I couldn't do that in one trip, I would stop by the following night, to buy the rest of items I needed. I tried to stay within the limit of my weekly expenses that I had estimated the first semester.
The good thing is that I have been charging my groceries to the only one credit card I carry, to have a complete control over my expenses. Since my statements are convectively saved in a pdf format, I went to add up my grocery expenses between September 1 and December 15, to compare it with what I had spend between February 1 and May 15.
To my surprise there was over 23% difference between my two semesters grocery spending! I truly was amazed!
How come I did not noticed it?
I had estimated to spend about $60 +/- $5 per week on groceries. On the average I had spend $62 during the first semester and $53 during the second semester. During the second semester, I remember, a few weeks when I spent over $60, which I tried to mend by spending less the following week. I guess as long as I was staying somehow close to $60 mark I was OK. Actually, I think as long as I was spending less that was the best, lol! Anyhow, apparently during the second semester I mostly stayed lower while during the first semester I mostly stayed over, $60.
So yes, few dollar differences per week between the two semesters were not noticeable, but once adding them up, it is almost $170 difference, for the 3 and half month period. That is a great saving for an individual with no income.
Of course my comparison might not be completely accurate, since the number of nights I stayed at my parents during each semester is not taken into account. Also not taken into account is my careful observation of sales items during the second semester. Since I was going grocery shopping more often during the second semester, I tried to buy fruits and vegetables that were on sale that week.
So yes, I did save money; another benefit of begin vegan, lol! I LOVE it when I get a positive side effect that I had not considered when making my decision, lol.
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Summer jobs!
I started my research assistantship job this week. I am really excited. Reading a good third of the articles that my professors had given me before my trip, and showing up this week ready to ask detailed questions was the right move, lol. They were actually pretty surprised at the amount of reading I had done! Yes, even my thesis advisor, who has been guiding me for few months now, and who has been impressed by me enough to suggest creating an RA position for me, was surprised!
Of course this was not the first time that my professors had little confidence in my capabilities! Discounting my many years of industry experience and also my maturity, lol, is not a smart decision. I might not be able to, or willing to, stay up all night to study, but I have learned to take the most out of the few working hours I have during the day.
In the industry, I worked in the R&D department. I read many scientific articles and tried to take advantage of the new technology. I had deadlines, and I had multiple projects. So yes, I learned how to be efficient; otherwise it just wouldn't have worked!
Anyhow, I am so glad that I was able to make headway so far this week, since my advisor informed me that he is travelling a lot this summer, but he would be accessible through Skype. I have met with him thought Skype, couple of times, during the semester, when he was a bit weak to come to campus. I am not too excited about having remote meetings with him! Being in his office, having the board to write on, and point to, is so very convenient. I hope that I would be able to meet in his office more often.
I LOVE my lab mates. They are very friendly, and very approachable. They have been working together in the lab at least since the beginning of the year. I am the only new one among them. So they invited me to have lunch with them the first day and we all got acquainted. I am so glad my summer job is in this department, rather than my own department! And I became a BFF, lol! During the lunch a few were complaining about a tool they are using, which I agreed has a steep learning curve. I had used that tool at work, for almost 10 years, on and off. So when they were complaining about how complex using it is, I offered to answer any questions they might have, and so I became their new BFF, lol. One person even printed that all questions regarding that tool should be directed to me, and posted it on our information board, lol. They are bunch of fun people.
On the other news, my impulse to want to buy cloths has returned with my smaller size, lol! Earlier in the week I told my mom that I would tag along with her next time that she is going to the mall. She said how about Thursday? She asked me to come over for dinner and said afterwards we go shopping.
We just got back from the mall. I got a dress, and a skinny jeans. My first skinny pants actually! My mom got me another dress. She picked it herself and said if I liked it she buys it for me! I didn't care for the dress on the hanger, especially with the knot in front near the hip. But then I decided to put it on. I thought it would be easier to say no to my mom when the dress looks awful on me. To my surprise, it actually looks great on me. I went a size up (that would be size 8, lol) yes I am back to single digit size. I cannot believe it myself, lol! So yes with a larger size it is lose a bit, and it looks great. Thus extremely thankful of my mom I let her spoil me, lol.
Here are my two dresses, lol.
You see, for the past few years, I have bought almost all my cloths online. I would wait and wait until they arrive, then I would get very disappointed when most of them would look very ill on me, and I had to return them.
Before our vacation, I went shopping with my sister. Everything I liked and tried on looked good on me. So I ended up buying couple of shorts, couple of summer skirts, and a dress. My sister gave me a few shirts and tees that she had not worn for a while, and I thought with a few pieces of my own that still looks OK on me, I would be set until my weight settles down, and also I receive my summer stipend check. I thought then I would go shopping again.
But I was asked to teach a few training classes for a good pay, lol.
During the spring semester, we used a computer program in one of my classes. I got lucky in January when I was allowed to attend a full day training class for that program, aimed at training students/staff employed by the IT department, who were going to teach this program in one hour training classes during the semester.
I liked working with that software. Also when in February I interviewed for the industry job, and was told that the position requires working with that program extensively, for a few weeks I searched for code examples. I tried them, studied them, modified them a bit, and thus become very familiar with almost all the capabilities of that program.
On Monday I got an email from a manager at the IT department asking if I was willing to teach six one-hour training classes this week. Apparently a summer instructor just informed the IT department that he does not want to take the class time to teach that program, because of time constraint, and had asked IT to conduct the training. IT department then realized that none of their regular semester student employees are around, and their staff is busy with other duties! Apparently someone had mentioned my name, and thus the email.
I responded that I would be happy to teach the training classes, since I figured there is no need to prepare for them. I could just show up, walk the students through the designated workbooks, and get paid. The pay is not bad actually, lol, and I am getting a check next Friday.
Anyhow, I LOVE my skinny jeans. It looks good on me, lol, hopefully in a month or so it would look even better! It is a bit tight in the waist now, but fits perfectly in the hip. My body is a rectangle shape, so most pants that fit my waist might be big in the hip, and pants that fit my hip could be a bit tight in waist. I think I can get away with wearing a loose shirt over it for now. I have made a pact with myself, lol! I am thinking if I lose this bit of muffin top I should buy myself another skinny pants, lol. Yeap, the monster shopaholic in me has woken up, lol.
Of course this was not the first time that my professors had little confidence in my capabilities! Discounting my many years of industry experience and also my maturity, lol, is not a smart decision. I might not be able to, or willing to, stay up all night to study, but I have learned to take the most out of the few working hours I have during the day.
In the industry, I worked in the R&D department. I read many scientific articles and tried to take advantage of the new technology. I had deadlines, and I had multiple projects. So yes, I learned how to be efficient; otherwise it just wouldn't have worked!
Anyhow, I am so glad that I was able to make headway so far this week, since my advisor informed me that he is travelling a lot this summer, but he would be accessible through Skype. I have met with him thought Skype, couple of times, during the semester, when he was a bit weak to come to campus. I am not too excited about having remote meetings with him! Being in his office, having the board to write on, and point to, is so very convenient. I hope that I would be able to meet in his office more often.
I LOVE my lab mates. They are very friendly, and very approachable. They have been working together in the lab at least since the beginning of the year. I am the only new one among them. So they invited me to have lunch with them the first day and we all got acquainted. I am so glad my summer job is in this department, rather than my own department! And I became a BFF, lol! During the lunch a few were complaining about a tool they are using, which I agreed has a steep learning curve. I had used that tool at work, for almost 10 years, on and off. So when they were complaining about how complex using it is, I offered to answer any questions they might have, and so I became their new BFF, lol. One person even printed that all questions regarding that tool should be directed to me, and posted it on our information board, lol. They are bunch of fun people.
On the other news, my impulse to want to buy cloths has returned with my smaller size, lol! Earlier in the week I told my mom that I would tag along with her next time that she is going to the mall. She said how about Thursday? She asked me to come over for dinner and said afterwards we go shopping.
We just got back from the mall. I got a dress, and a skinny jeans. My first skinny pants actually! My mom got me another dress. She picked it herself and said if I liked it she buys it for me! I didn't care for the dress on the hanger, especially with the knot in front near the hip. But then I decided to put it on. I thought it would be easier to say no to my mom when the dress looks awful on me. To my surprise, it actually looks great on me. I went a size up (that would be size 8, lol) yes I am back to single digit size. I cannot believe it myself, lol! So yes with a larger size it is lose a bit, and it looks great. Thus extremely thankful of my mom I let her spoil me, lol.
Here are my two dresses, lol.
You see, for the past few years, I have bought almost all my cloths online. I would wait and wait until they arrive, then I would get very disappointed when most of them would look very ill on me, and I had to return them.
Before our vacation, I went shopping with my sister. Everything I liked and tried on looked good on me. So I ended up buying couple of shorts, couple of summer skirts, and a dress. My sister gave me a few shirts and tees that she had not worn for a while, and I thought with a few pieces of my own that still looks OK on me, I would be set until my weight settles down, and also I receive my summer stipend check. I thought then I would go shopping again.
But I was asked to teach a few training classes for a good pay, lol.
During the spring semester, we used a computer program in one of my classes. I got lucky in January when I was allowed to attend a full day training class for that program, aimed at training students/staff employed by the IT department, who were going to teach this program in one hour training classes during the semester.
I liked working with that software. Also when in February I interviewed for the industry job, and was told that the position requires working with that program extensively, for a few weeks I searched for code examples. I tried them, studied them, modified them a bit, and thus become very familiar with almost all the capabilities of that program.
On Monday I got an email from a manager at the IT department asking if I was willing to teach six one-hour training classes this week. Apparently a summer instructor just informed the IT department that he does not want to take the class time to teach that program, because of time constraint, and had asked IT to conduct the training. IT department then realized that none of their regular semester student employees are around, and their staff is busy with other duties! Apparently someone had mentioned my name, and thus the email.
I responded that I would be happy to teach the training classes, since I figured there is no need to prepare for them. I could just show up, walk the students through the designated workbooks, and get paid. The pay is not bad actually, lol, and I am getting a check next Friday.
Anyhow, I LOVE my skinny jeans. It looks good on me, lol, hopefully in a month or so it would look even better! It is a bit tight in the waist now, but fits perfectly in the hip. My body is a rectangle shape, so most pants that fit my waist might be big in the hip, and pants that fit my hip could be a bit tight in waist. I think I can get away with wearing a loose shirt over it for now. I have made a pact with myself, lol! I am thinking if I lose this bit of muffin top I should buy myself another skinny pants, lol. Yeap, the monster shopaholic in me has woken up, lol.
Sunday, May 22, 2011
Grades and Running!
I got my grades for this past semester: two A and one A-. Thus far I have two A and three A-. My goal for the summer is to work hard on my thesis and hopefully even out my A and A-, lol, and then hopefully be able to hold on to that GPA for the rest of my program.
I am very excited about starting my thesis. Before leaving both professors that I shall be working with in the summer, gave me reading materials. Even though I didn't think I would have time to read anything, but I printed bunch of stuff at my sister's and took them with us on our trip! Good decision, since on the car rides I was able to read some, and discuss them with J.
It was fun; for the first time discussing articles with J, we were on equal ground, lol. The stuff we were reading on our trip were mostly written by people in my undergrad discipline. Obviously I have stronger background in that field, having worked in that discipline for almost 20 years. Of course the articles had used many concepts from my graduate field, but the audience was assumed to be people in my undergrad discipline. Anyhow, when we couldn't understand or follow the author's reasoning, J would try to break down their reasoning and speculated what they could have meant, which allowed me to either remember and come to the same conclusion as the authors, or have specific questions for my professors to ask them when we meet with this week. As a graduate student, I do not like to go to my professor and say I do not understand this part, but asking specific question, I think is reasonable!
On the running front, my long run this week was 6 miles. At the beginning of the year I set a goal to train and run a race in the fall. I have decided to run a half marathon in mid November. To get me started I have also picked couple of 5Ks and 10Ks to run this summer and into the fall. I shall post all the races I like to run on the side.
J is a runner; he runs 6-8 miles, five times a week. We run almost every day on our trip and he coached me on how to increase my speed. That is going to be my main concern, to increase my speed. I now average 12 minute miles! I have been wondering the last time that I was at this weight, about five years ago, what was my speed! As I got bigger, I slowed down my running, since I did not want to put pressure on my knees. That was why the last couple of years at the gym, I run less, and choose elliptical more often instead. On the elliptical I was able to keep increasing my level, and actually reached the maximum last summer, which was 14 on my former gym's machines, and burned in excess of 750 calories in 45 minutes! Anyhow, I have written my exercise routines, along with my speed, incline for treadmill and difficulty level for other cardio machines, and time, in my journal. I am going to try and find my journals in my packed stuff hopefully this week.
My two best friends and I used to meet Friday nights after work for pizza. The goal was to just relax, have pizza, and catch up with each other's lives. Sometimes they included their families too. Having pizza, was so that no cooking or cleaning required. When I started school, I told them that I was not going to join them until I am done with school, they stopped meeting too.
We have been posting on facebook ideas to revive our weekly get together, especially since our other best friend, who has been living overseas with her family, is moving back. There is making your own pizza, or vegetarian night suggestions. But both requires that we cook and clean! There is also suggestion of raw food night, salads, or no cook soups like Gazpacho, or Avocado soup. But those also require preparation and cleaning!
Than last week, our friend who is moving back to the states, suggested Saturday morning running group. She suggested that we meet for a run, and then go to breakfast. I loved the idea, but our two other friends not so much! They are more of a yoga, spinning, and in controlled climate, kind of exercisers. It is so funny reading their posts back and forth. I did post once or twice, but the one friend who is pro running group can easily handle both of the other two who are against the running group! She single-handedly persuaded them to give the running a try for a few weeks.
Anyhow, as we stand, the plan is for the three of us, who are living in the same time zone, to start running the first week of June. Our overseas friend is due here in July. She said once she is here, she and I can go for a run, and then our other two friends can join us for breakfast only, lol! We all know that it is not going to happen, lol. There is no way the two non-runners just join the two runners for breakfast, lol! We have always been in a healthy competition with each other! So it shall be fun to see what is going to happen, lol!
I am not only very excited about meeting my best friends on a weekly bases again, but I am also very excited that I am not going to get bored and talk myself out of my long run, sometimes in the middle of the summer, when the mileage has increased. Plus, with this plan of get together, I can continue my vegetarian way, and also watch my calorie consumption, to hopefully lose more weight. I am thinking I can splurge and have a big breakfast, and then cut back on what I eat the rest of the day. Or be reasonable, lol, and have as much as I usually eat for breakfast. We shall see.
In any case, I am considering tomorrow as the first day of my summer, lol, and there are three things in my mind this summer: J, my thesis/research, and my running. Here is hoping for a happy and successful summer.
I am very excited about starting my thesis. Before leaving both professors that I shall be working with in the summer, gave me reading materials. Even though I didn't think I would have time to read anything, but I printed bunch of stuff at my sister's and took them with us on our trip! Good decision, since on the car rides I was able to read some, and discuss them with J.
It was fun; for the first time discussing articles with J, we were on equal ground, lol. The stuff we were reading on our trip were mostly written by people in my undergrad discipline. Obviously I have stronger background in that field, having worked in that discipline for almost 20 years. Of course the articles had used many concepts from my graduate field, but the audience was assumed to be people in my undergrad discipline. Anyhow, when we couldn't understand or follow the author's reasoning, J would try to break down their reasoning and speculated what they could have meant, which allowed me to either remember and come to the same conclusion as the authors, or have specific questions for my professors to ask them when we meet with this week. As a graduate student, I do not like to go to my professor and say I do not understand this part, but asking specific question, I think is reasonable!
On the running front, my long run this week was 6 miles. At the beginning of the year I set a goal to train and run a race in the fall. I have decided to run a half marathon in mid November. To get me started I have also picked couple of 5Ks and 10Ks to run this summer and into the fall. I shall post all the races I like to run on the side.
J is a runner; he runs 6-8 miles, five times a week. We run almost every day on our trip and he coached me on how to increase my speed. That is going to be my main concern, to increase my speed. I now average 12 minute miles! I have been wondering the last time that I was at this weight, about five years ago, what was my speed! As I got bigger, I slowed down my running, since I did not want to put pressure on my knees. That was why the last couple of years at the gym, I run less, and choose elliptical more often instead. On the elliptical I was able to keep increasing my level, and actually reached the maximum last summer, which was 14 on my former gym's machines, and burned in excess of 750 calories in 45 minutes! Anyhow, I have written my exercise routines, along with my speed, incline for treadmill and difficulty level for other cardio machines, and time, in my journal. I am going to try and find my journals in my packed stuff hopefully this week.
My two best friends and I used to meet Friday nights after work for pizza. The goal was to just relax, have pizza, and catch up with each other's lives. Sometimes they included their families too. Having pizza, was so that no cooking or cleaning required. When I started school, I told them that I was not going to join them until I am done with school, they stopped meeting too.
We have been posting on facebook ideas to revive our weekly get together, especially since our other best friend, who has been living overseas with her family, is moving back. There is making your own pizza, or vegetarian night suggestions. But both requires that we cook and clean! There is also suggestion of raw food night, salads, or no cook soups like Gazpacho, or Avocado soup. But those also require preparation and cleaning!
Than last week, our friend who is moving back to the states, suggested Saturday morning running group. She suggested that we meet for a run, and then go to breakfast. I loved the idea, but our two other friends not so much! They are more of a yoga, spinning, and in controlled climate, kind of exercisers. It is so funny reading their posts back and forth. I did post once or twice, but the one friend who is pro running group can easily handle both of the other two who are against the running group! She single-handedly persuaded them to give the running a try for a few weeks.
Anyhow, as we stand, the plan is for the three of us, who are living in the same time zone, to start running the first week of June. Our overseas friend is due here in July. She said once she is here, she and I can go for a run, and then our other two friends can join us for breakfast only, lol! We all know that it is not going to happen, lol. There is no way the two non-runners just join the two runners for breakfast, lol! We have always been in a healthy competition with each other! So it shall be fun to see what is going to happen, lol!
I am not only very excited about meeting my best friends on a weekly bases again, but I am also very excited that I am not going to get bored and talk myself out of my long run, sometimes in the middle of the summer, when the mileage has increased. Plus, with this plan of get together, I can continue my vegetarian way, and also watch my calorie consumption, to hopefully lose more weight. I am thinking I can splurge and have a big breakfast, and then cut back on what I eat the rest of the day. Or be reasonable, lol, and have as much as I usually eat for breakfast. We shall see.
In any case, I am considering tomorrow as the first day of my summer, lol, and there are three things in my mind this summer: J, my thesis/research, and my running. Here is hoping for a happy and successful summer.
He is a keeper, lol.
My man J and I had our first trip, sort of get to know one another trip. We had an amazing time. He is a wonderful man. I feel so lucky. I am so glad that I kept trying when at first he wouldn't give me the time of day, lol. He truly was not interested in me at first, but I think I kindof/sortof grow on him, lol.
In our vacation, I got the nerve to jokingly mention to him that he did not like me at first, or did he? I am really flattered by his explanation, but I kindof/sortof have a hard time buying it, lol. Let me tell you the long story, lol, and then I will write about his reasoning!
Back in February when I decided to attend a talk at my sister's former school, I wrote the organizer of the talk series to asked if I would be allowed to attend those talks. I wrote a little about my background, where I go to school, why I am interested in attending the talk (because of my independent study class), etc. When J wrote back he said that it was a small world! It turned out that he had attended the same school I am attending, and got his Ph.D., a few years back, from the same department I am in now, lol. He also mentioned that his thesis advisor was professor expert (PE), who my independent study professor (ISP) and I turned to if I had questions. Anyhow, he told me that I was welcome to attend the talk, and asked if I got there before half an hour prior to the talk, to stop by his office.
On the day of the talk, on her way to work, my sister dropped me off, and so I had enough time to go talk to J.
I am not very comfortable in social situation, especially if I am meeting someone for the first time! Professional settings are easier though, since usually I am very interested to talk about mine/their research/projects/education, etc. And as long as we are discussing professional topics, I am comfortable and engaging. But if somehow, at some point, the other person directs the conversation to other topics, more personal in nature, I get very uneasy very fast! On a personal setting, I try to prepare myself ahead of time, for example when having a date, I think about good conversation topics that are a bit more personal in nature, lol, but not too personal!
With J it was very different! Even though we met in a professional setting, I wanted to get to know him personally from the get go, and become fast friends with him, lol. It could be that since we had lots to talk about, I felt at ease him; it was fun to compare the department and professors now and back when he was there. But I so wanted to ask him if he was married, lol! Really, I have been asked this question, a few times actually, on the first meeting, lol! Once when I had started a new job, a colleague that I had just met asked me first if I had any children and then if I was married! Another time it was at a conference, as the day progressed, the person sitting next to me asked if I was married! I don't think either one had any intention other than getting to know me, but still it made me uncomfortable! Repeated times has not made it easy, every time I get asked this kind of unexpected questions in a profession setting, I freeze, lol!
Anyhow, I was so very interested in J, however, he was not interested in me at all! But then after about a month or so he was suddenly interested! This was a mystery to me, lol, and the reason I jokingly mentioned it to him on our vacation!
Back to our first meeting, J told me how much he misses working with PE and asked how come I was not working with him. PE is very recognized in the area I was studying, and everyone in my department who is considering that area of research, wants to work with PE. I told J that I did not know PE, and was not familiar with his research interest at first. When I approached ISP about possibly working with him, he told me about PE. I said but since I am a master's students, PE wouldn't have accepted to work with me anyway, so ISP accepted to guide me in my independent study, even though it was not his research interest, and we decided to turn to PE, if I had any questions or concern that ISP could not provide the answer.
So yes, we talked professional stuff the entire time! We then walked toward were the talk was, and he got busy with the speaker. When he was introducing the speaker, I finally got a chance, and nerve, to look at his left hands, and thankfully I thought, lol, no ring, lol. After the talk, I was hoping to get a chance to talk to J again, but when I saw how busy he was, I thanked him quickly and said goodbye.
Before meeting J, I had no intention of attending more talks at that school any time soon, but I just couldn't get his thoughts out of my mind afterward, lol. So the next weekend I came back to my sister's, and both Saturday and Sunday mornings, I walked passed J's office, knocked on the door, hoping that he would be there! I didn't have much, if anything, to say to him, but I just wanted to see him again! I also thought if he was there, then there would be a good chance that he was not involved with anyone, lol! I felt like a stalker, lol, I know, not funny!
Anyhow, he was not in his office that weekend. Thus, I reasoned that my only chance to see him again, was to attend more talks. Which I did, but unfortunately, I was not able to get much of his time, and even then, I never got the nerve to turn the conversation personal. So I concluded that if I was going to get his attention for more than few minutes, we had to meet somewhere else, hopefully attend the same conference.
While I was hoping to attend a conference and was optimistic that J would be there too, I continued emailing him, but only discussed the talks/research. Then toward the end of March, two days before one of the talks in my department, the speaker was in a minor accident. She was OK, but was shaken up, and so she postponed her talk. A few hours after the email telling us that the talk was cancelled, another email was sent that PE had decided to give a talk instead. Right away I thought this could be a good opportunity to see J.
Even thought it was only one day before the talk, but since the talk was on Friday afternoon, I hoped that J would be able to attend the talk. Thus, I forwarded him the information. He wrote back, thanking me for sending him the info, said that he had planned to drive to my home state to see his friends, and he wants very much to attend PE's talk. He wrote that he needed to talk to his friends to find out about their plans and schedule for that weekend, before he could say for sure that he was attending the talk.
Later that day, he emailed me and said that he was going to attend the talk. He had also mentioned which PE's articles he was reading or rereading before the talk, and encouraged me, if I had time, to also check them out. He then surprised the heck out of me, lol. He wrote that he was going to get there an hour before the talk, and asked if would like to grab lunch with him! He mentioned that we would have a chance to discuss PE's articles before his talk! Of course I wrote back promptly, said great to lunch, and give him my phone number to call when he got to school.
Now, why sudden change of heart, lol, apparently while he was on the department site, checking PE's articles, he got interested to find out about my articles, lol, so he had gone to my school page, and had also seen where and when I graduated college.
See the level and time of interest, lol! I googled him the first chance I got after I met him! He only checked my page to see my articles, over a month after we had met, lol!
Anyhow, that Friday, even though all through lunch we talked about PE's research, but I didn't mind, I was very happy to be having lunch with J, lol. We then went to the talk, and sit next to each other! Yes, I was not able to concentrate fully on the talk, lol, having him that close to me, lol! I am just kidding, lol; the talk had my complete and absolute attention. It was a great talk.
Afterward, he said that he wanted to talk to PE, but asked if later, I did not have any plans, to meet him, and go to dinner with his friends. I told him that I had no plans, and so we met up, drove to the restaurant, met with his friends, and had a great time. A few of his friends had also graduated from my current department and they shared their funny memories. It was so much fun hanging out with them. J then gave me a ride home, and finally we were sharing personal tidbits. That was almost two months ago, and “the beginning of a beautiful friendship”, lol.
Last Sunday was exactly three months since we met. While stopping for lunch, apparently exactly around the time that we had met, lol, he gave the most thoughtful and beautiful gift! It is a three interlocking bangle bracelet; he said each bangle signifying a month we know each other! I LOVE it. It is so beautiful, but more than that, it is such a thoughtful gift. I was speechless. He then asked if I had remembered! I told him that I was good with dates and remembering small details; I said, but I usually try to not make a big deal out of them, lol! He said he makes me a deal, lol. He said, if I remind us of important dates and small details, lol, he then could make a big deal out of them for us, lol! He is funny!
Somehow I knew J was a jewel when I met him. I am so glad that I was patient and stepped outside my comfort zone to get to know him when he was not interested in getting to know me.
So his explanation, he thought I was much younger than him, actually, much much younger, lol. He said everyone he knew in a master's or Ph.D. program, if they were fulltime and had just started, he had known them to be in their 20s! Older students in a master's program, he knew to be almost always part-time, and holding fulltime jobs! Apparently, he was not interested in hanging out with, or personally getting to know someone, from school who is 20-something!
PLEASE, I don't look like I could be 20-something, lol! For someone as bright, intelligent, and quick to understand, and absorb difficult materials, he was thick in this occasion, lol!
Apparently when he had checked my school page and saw that I graduated college two years ahead of him, he wanted to get to know me, lol!
Since I have gotten to know J personally, I often think what ifs! What if I had written him off when I felt that he was not interested in me! What if I had not gotten to know what an incredible amazing person he is! But then I remind myself that I did NOT write him off, and that I am with him, now! So I tell myself to let go of the negative thoughts and fast!
In our vacation, I got the nerve to jokingly mention to him that he did not like me at first, or did he? I am really flattered by his explanation, but I kindof/sortof have a hard time buying it, lol. Let me tell you the long story, lol, and then I will write about his reasoning!
Back in February when I decided to attend a talk at my sister's former school, I wrote the organizer of the talk series to asked if I would be allowed to attend those talks. I wrote a little about my background, where I go to school, why I am interested in attending the talk (because of my independent study class), etc. When J wrote back he said that it was a small world! It turned out that he had attended the same school I am attending, and got his Ph.D., a few years back, from the same department I am in now, lol. He also mentioned that his thesis advisor was professor expert (PE), who my independent study professor (ISP) and I turned to if I had questions. Anyhow, he told me that I was welcome to attend the talk, and asked if I got there before half an hour prior to the talk, to stop by his office.
On the day of the talk, on her way to work, my sister dropped me off, and so I had enough time to go talk to J.
I am not very comfortable in social situation, especially if I am meeting someone for the first time! Professional settings are easier though, since usually I am very interested to talk about mine/their research/projects/education, etc. And as long as we are discussing professional topics, I am comfortable and engaging. But if somehow, at some point, the other person directs the conversation to other topics, more personal in nature, I get very uneasy very fast! On a personal setting, I try to prepare myself ahead of time, for example when having a date, I think about good conversation topics that are a bit more personal in nature, lol, but not too personal!
With J it was very different! Even though we met in a professional setting, I wanted to get to know him personally from the get go, and become fast friends with him, lol. It could be that since we had lots to talk about, I felt at ease him; it was fun to compare the department and professors now and back when he was there. But I so wanted to ask him if he was married, lol! Really, I have been asked this question, a few times actually, on the first meeting, lol! Once when I had started a new job, a colleague that I had just met asked me first if I had any children and then if I was married! Another time it was at a conference, as the day progressed, the person sitting next to me asked if I was married! I don't think either one had any intention other than getting to know me, but still it made me uncomfortable! Repeated times has not made it easy, every time I get asked this kind of unexpected questions in a profession setting, I freeze, lol!
Anyhow, I was so very interested in J, however, he was not interested in me at all! But then after about a month or so he was suddenly interested! This was a mystery to me, lol, and the reason I jokingly mentioned it to him on our vacation!
Back to our first meeting, J told me how much he misses working with PE and asked how come I was not working with him. PE is very recognized in the area I was studying, and everyone in my department who is considering that area of research, wants to work with PE. I told J that I did not know PE, and was not familiar with his research interest at first. When I approached ISP about possibly working with him, he told me about PE. I said but since I am a master's students, PE wouldn't have accepted to work with me anyway, so ISP accepted to guide me in my independent study, even though it was not his research interest, and we decided to turn to PE, if I had any questions or concern that ISP could not provide the answer.
So yes, we talked professional stuff the entire time! We then walked toward were the talk was, and he got busy with the speaker. When he was introducing the speaker, I finally got a chance, and nerve, to look at his left hands, and thankfully I thought, lol, no ring, lol. After the talk, I was hoping to get a chance to talk to J again, but when I saw how busy he was, I thanked him quickly and said goodbye.
Before meeting J, I had no intention of attending more talks at that school any time soon, but I just couldn't get his thoughts out of my mind afterward, lol. So the next weekend I came back to my sister's, and both Saturday and Sunday mornings, I walked passed J's office, knocked on the door, hoping that he would be there! I didn't have much, if anything, to say to him, but I just wanted to see him again! I also thought if he was there, then there would be a good chance that he was not involved with anyone, lol! I felt like a stalker, lol, I know, not funny!
Anyhow, he was not in his office that weekend. Thus, I reasoned that my only chance to see him again, was to attend more talks. Which I did, but unfortunately, I was not able to get much of his time, and even then, I never got the nerve to turn the conversation personal. So I concluded that if I was going to get his attention for more than few minutes, we had to meet somewhere else, hopefully attend the same conference.
While I was hoping to attend a conference and was optimistic that J would be there too, I continued emailing him, but only discussed the talks/research. Then toward the end of March, two days before one of the talks in my department, the speaker was in a minor accident. She was OK, but was shaken up, and so she postponed her talk. A few hours after the email telling us that the talk was cancelled, another email was sent that PE had decided to give a talk instead. Right away I thought this could be a good opportunity to see J.
Even thought it was only one day before the talk, but since the talk was on Friday afternoon, I hoped that J would be able to attend the talk. Thus, I forwarded him the information. He wrote back, thanking me for sending him the info, said that he had planned to drive to my home state to see his friends, and he wants very much to attend PE's talk. He wrote that he needed to talk to his friends to find out about their plans and schedule for that weekend, before he could say for sure that he was attending the talk.
Later that day, he emailed me and said that he was going to attend the talk. He had also mentioned which PE's articles he was reading or rereading before the talk, and encouraged me, if I had time, to also check them out. He then surprised the heck out of me, lol. He wrote that he was going to get there an hour before the talk, and asked if would like to grab lunch with him! He mentioned that we would have a chance to discuss PE's articles before his talk! Of course I wrote back promptly, said great to lunch, and give him my phone number to call when he got to school.
Now, why sudden change of heart, lol, apparently while he was on the department site, checking PE's articles, he got interested to find out about my articles, lol, so he had gone to my school page, and had also seen where and when I graduated college.
See the level and time of interest, lol! I googled him the first chance I got after I met him! He only checked my page to see my articles, over a month after we had met, lol!
Anyhow, that Friday, even though all through lunch we talked about PE's research, but I didn't mind, I was very happy to be having lunch with J, lol. We then went to the talk, and sit next to each other! Yes, I was not able to concentrate fully on the talk, lol, having him that close to me, lol! I am just kidding, lol; the talk had my complete and absolute attention. It was a great talk.
Afterward, he said that he wanted to talk to PE, but asked if later, I did not have any plans, to meet him, and go to dinner with his friends. I told him that I had no plans, and so we met up, drove to the restaurant, met with his friends, and had a great time. A few of his friends had also graduated from my current department and they shared their funny memories. It was so much fun hanging out with them. J then gave me a ride home, and finally we were sharing personal tidbits. That was almost two months ago, and “the beginning of a beautiful friendship”, lol.
Last Sunday was exactly three months since we met. While stopping for lunch, apparently exactly around the time that we had met, lol, he gave the most thoughtful and beautiful gift! It is a three interlocking bangle bracelet; he said each bangle signifying a month we know each other! I LOVE it. It is so beautiful, but more than that, it is such a thoughtful gift. I was speechless. He then asked if I had remembered! I told him that I was good with dates and remembering small details; I said, but I usually try to not make a big deal out of them, lol! He said he makes me a deal, lol. He said, if I remind us of important dates and small details, lol, he then could make a big deal out of them for us, lol! He is funny!
Somehow I knew J was a jewel when I met him. I am so glad that I was patient and stepped outside my comfort zone to get to know him when he was not interested in getting to know me.
So his explanation, he thought I was much younger than him, actually, much much younger, lol. He said everyone he knew in a master's or Ph.D. program, if they were fulltime and had just started, he had known them to be in their 20s! Older students in a master's program, he knew to be almost always part-time, and holding fulltime jobs! Apparently, he was not interested in hanging out with, or personally getting to know someone, from school who is 20-something!
PLEASE, I don't look like I could be 20-something, lol! For someone as bright, intelligent, and quick to understand, and absorb difficult materials, he was thick in this occasion, lol!
Apparently when he had checked my school page and saw that I graduated college two years ahead of him, he wanted to get to know me, lol!
Since I have gotten to know J personally, I often think what ifs! What if I had written him off when I felt that he was not interested in me! What if I had not gotten to know what an incredible amazing person he is! But then I remind myself that I did NOT write him off, and that I am with him, now! So I tell myself to let go of the negative thoughts and fast!
Saturday, May 14, 2011
Weight Loss Update!
As far back as I can remember, all through high school, college, and in my 20s, I weighed 107 pounds. Yes, of course I would gain a few pounds here and there, during the holidays and vacation, but watching what I eat, drinking more water, and increasing my physical activity for few weeks afterward, I was able to bring my weight right back to 107.
It was just before my 31st birthday when I realized that I had gained a lot of weight and it was neither around holidays, nor had I gone on vacation! I think I was just a few pounds shy of 120 and even my baggy clothes were getting uncomfortable!
One day while eating lunch with my coworker/friend I complained that I had gained a lot of weight. She looked at me and said that I looked great, but encouraged me to join her gym. She said we could workout together after work, everyday. She also suggested lowcarb way of eating.
So I joined her gym, switched to lowcarb diet, and so started my obsession with my weight and the weight fluctuation that continued for about seven years! Yes, I would lose weight, but then during a busy time at work, or holidays, I not only gain all that I had lost, I would gain a few more pounds for good measure!
I am not exaggerating if I say that in that seven year period, all my free time was spend thinking about how can I lose weight! My mind was always on two issues: my eating method, how effective it is, and my exercises regime, how effective it is! I read so many diet and exercise books and tried all that was suggested, but I failed at them all.
In my 20s during the stressful time at work, I would lose weight, because I just couldn't eat. In my 30s during the stressful time at work, I wanted to eat and eat and eat some more!
So you can imagine that when I gave up my gym membership at the end of last August, how concerned I was! I thought I had gained, on the average, eight pounds a year, with all the exercises I did, and all of my efforts to eat right. I thought now, with being busy at school, and no gym, I was going to see 200 pounds for sure by the time I was done with school!
But a pleasant surprise happened! I became so concerned about my finances after I quit my job, that I started watching my grocery spending very carefully! I never paid that much attention to my bills. Yes, I had budget everything, but my budget was initially set based on how much I had spent, so it was more of estimation than reduction. After becoming unemployed, I was trying to reduce my budget, preferably bring it close to zero, lol.
During the first semester, I lived on Atkins bar! I had one for breakfast with my coffee, and 2-3, but mostly 2, during the day, with lots of water. My mid morning yogurt, and mid afternoon mocha was out of the question with my student status. Eating out a few times a week was also out, including Friday's pizza with my best friends which I missed the most! On that note, actually we are trying to revive our Friday's get together since I am not that strapped for cash anymore!
Anyhow, at night, I had one serving of a lowcarb dish that I had made during a weekend, and had divided it into reasonable servings and froze. In the morning, I put one serving out to warm up at night. Everything else was frozen, so I could easily talk myself out of defrosting another serving.
My only form of exercise was my commute to school. I live about 15 minutes walk away from the bus stop, so that was at least half an hour of walk every day.
By the end of my first semester I had lost almost 13 pounds. Then the holidays came around and I gained a few pounds, but afterward, I lost all that I had gained, plus one more, and by the time I started the second semester I had lost over 14 pounds.
During the second semester I switched to a vegetarian diet because of my limited kitchen. I started drinking freshly made juices or smoothies for breakfast. Snack on natural peanut butter on whole grain bread. I took banana, apples, or tangerine to school instead of Atkins bars, and made green salad with homemade dressing for lunch. For dinner I made vegetarian soup or chili and sometimes had it with whole grain bread. Yes, I eat more during the second semester, but my goal was to survive with limited kitchen capability while eating vegetarian.
I also made a pact with myself to walk at least 3 miles, and up to 5 miles, a day. Rain or snow, freezing or not, I told myself, I could walk at least 3 miles. So in the mornings I walked a few stops further to make sure I had walked for about 45 minutes, another 15 minutes was grantee at night. It was not easy, but I was determined! Maybe just a handful of days, I could not make it to 3 miles during the entire second semester. I am very proud of this accomplishment.
Also during the second semester, because it got dark and freezing early in the evening, I usually left school little after 5 pm to make it home before 6. After the days got longer, I decided to continue this, and on March 13th I started a walk/run routine after I got home, since it was still light. I started with 1 minute run/2 minute walk repeated 6 times with 5 minute warm up and 5 minute cool down, and now I can run 40 minute straight, a little over 5K.
I am so happy to report that in the second semester I lost over 17 pounds for the total of more than 32 pounds since September 1st. So basically I lost about 3.75 pounds a month, during the past 8.5 months. That is a very slow pace I know, but I think slow and steady has worked for me!
What makes this accomplishment sweet, lol, is that I did not make any effort to lose weight! It was because of my new lifestyle that it happened. First semester the stress of staring school, and also for economical reasons I eat less. And second semester, because I set a goal to run a race this coming fall, I needed to start walking, and not having a stove or big refrigerator to cook and freeze my meals, I stared eating more fresh fruits and vegetables.
I have to say, I blend in more at school these days, lol; I think I look younger, lol. My complexion, because of healthy eating, has become clear and youthful, and being thinner, makes you look younger I guess, lol.
I was very embarrassed to admit how much I weighted back in September, but now that I have gotten to a more reasonable number I am not too embarrassed to say that I was up to 163! Seriously! On a small framed 5'4" tall woman, that was a lot of weight to carry around. I am now down to 131. So yes, I am more than half way to the weight my body was comfortable with less than a decade ago!
My plan is to continue my vegetarian way of eating, my runs during the week, my long run on the weekend, and walking everywhere else, all through the summer and into the fall semester. I am very motivated, for one because of my younger sister's upcoming wedding, and two because of the new man in my life. Anyhow, hopefully by the end of the year, my body shall settle on a number that is comfortable for my age. I don't necessarily want to make it back to 107. If my body still likes it there now, in my late 30s, so be it! But if I can't maintain it there, I don't want to get there. I want a weight that I would be able to easily maintain and not obsessed over ever again.
Have a great weekend.
It was just before my 31st birthday when I realized that I had gained a lot of weight and it was neither around holidays, nor had I gone on vacation! I think I was just a few pounds shy of 120 and even my baggy clothes were getting uncomfortable!
One day while eating lunch with my coworker/friend I complained that I had gained a lot of weight. She looked at me and said that I looked great, but encouraged me to join her gym. She said we could workout together after work, everyday. She also suggested lowcarb way of eating.
So I joined her gym, switched to lowcarb diet, and so started my obsession with my weight and the weight fluctuation that continued for about seven years! Yes, I would lose weight, but then during a busy time at work, or holidays, I not only gain all that I had lost, I would gain a few more pounds for good measure!
I am not exaggerating if I say that in that seven year period, all my free time was spend thinking about how can I lose weight! My mind was always on two issues: my eating method, how effective it is, and my exercises regime, how effective it is! I read so many diet and exercise books and tried all that was suggested, but I failed at them all.
In my 20s during the stressful time at work, I would lose weight, because I just couldn't eat. In my 30s during the stressful time at work, I wanted to eat and eat and eat some more!
So you can imagine that when I gave up my gym membership at the end of last August, how concerned I was! I thought I had gained, on the average, eight pounds a year, with all the exercises I did, and all of my efforts to eat right. I thought now, with being busy at school, and no gym, I was going to see 200 pounds for sure by the time I was done with school!
But a pleasant surprise happened! I became so concerned about my finances after I quit my job, that I started watching my grocery spending very carefully! I never paid that much attention to my bills. Yes, I had budget everything, but my budget was initially set based on how much I had spent, so it was more of estimation than reduction. After becoming unemployed, I was trying to reduce my budget, preferably bring it close to zero, lol.
During the first semester, I lived on Atkins bar! I had one for breakfast with my coffee, and 2-3, but mostly 2, during the day, with lots of water. My mid morning yogurt, and mid afternoon mocha was out of the question with my student status. Eating out a few times a week was also out, including Friday's pizza with my best friends which I missed the most! On that note, actually we are trying to revive our Friday's get together since I am not that strapped for cash anymore!
Anyhow, at night, I had one serving of a lowcarb dish that I had made during a weekend, and had divided it into reasonable servings and froze. In the morning, I put one serving out to warm up at night. Everything else was frozen, so I could easily talk myself out of defrosting another serving.
My only form of exercise was my commute to school. I live about 15 minutes walk away from the bus stop, so that was at least half an hour of walk every day.
By the end of my first semester I had lost almost 13 pounds. Then the holidays came around and I gained a few pounds, but afterward, I lost all that I had gained, plus one more, and by the time I started the second semester I had lost over 14 pounds.
During the second semester I switched to a vegetarian diet because of my limited kitchen. I started drinking freshly made juices or smoothies for breakfast. Snack on natural peanut butter on whole grain bread. I took banana, apples, or tangerine to school instead of Atkins bars, and made green salad with homemade dressing for lunch. For dinner I made vegetarian soup or chili and sometimes had it with whole grain bread. Yes, I eat more during the second semester, but my goal was to survive with limited kitchen capability while eating vegetarian.
I also made a pact with myself to walk at least 3 miles, and up to 5 miles, a day. Rain or snow, freezing or not, I told myself, I could walk at least 3 miles. So in the mornings I walked a few stops further to make sure I had walked for about 45 minutes, another 15 minutes was grantee at night. It was not easy, but I was determined! Maybe just a handful of days, I could not make it to 3 miles during the entire second semester. I am very proud of this accomplishment.
Also during the second semester, because it got dark and freezing early in the evening, I usually left school little after 5 pm to make it home before 6. After the days got longer, I decided to continue this, and on March 13th I started a walk/run routine after I got home, since it was still light. I started with 1 minute run/2 minute walk repeated 6 times with 5 minute warm up and 5 minute cool down, and now I can run 40 minute straight, a little over 5K.
I am so happy to report that in the second semester I lost over 17 pounds for the total of more than 32 pounds since September 1st. So basically I lost about 3.75 pounds a month, during the past 8.5 months. That is a very slow pace I know, but I think slow and steady has worked for me!
What makes this accomplishment sweet, lol, is that I did not make any effort to lose weight! It was because of my new lifestyle that it happened. First semester the stress of staring school, and also for economical reasons I eat less. And second semester, because I set a goal to run a race this coming fall, I needed to start walking, and not having a stove or big refrigerator to cook and freeze my meals, I stared eating more fresh fruits and vegetables.
I have to say, I blend in more at school these days, lol; I think I look younger, lol. My complexion, because of healthy eating, has become clear and youthful, and being thinner, makes you look younger I guess, lol.
I was very embarrassed to admit how much I weighted back in September, but now that I have gotten to a more reasonable number I am not too embarrassed to say that I was up to 163! Seriously! On a small framed 5'4" tall woman, that was a lot of weight to carry around. I am now down to 131. So yes, I am more than half way to the weight my body was comfortable with less than a decade ago!
My plan is to continue my vegetarian way of eating, my runs during the week, my long run on the weekend, and walking everywhere else, all through the summer and into the fall semester. I am very motivated, for one because of my younger sister's upcoming wedding, and two because of the new man in my life. Anyhow, hopefully by the end of the year, my body shall settle on a number that is comfortable for my age. I don't necessarily want to make it back to 107. If my body still likes it there now, in my late 30s, so be it! But if I can't maintain it there, I don't want to get there. I want a weight that I would be able to easily maintain and not obsessed over ever again.
Have a great weekend.
Friday, May 13, 2011
Not what I had planned but exactly what I want!
I have a thesis project! My thesis proposal was accepted by the department as well. So yes, I now officially have a thesis and a thesis advisor.
I am so glad that my thesis got accepted, otherwise I had to take another independent study class, which I know I could have learned a lot, but I was not prepared to do that! My department does not offer instructional graduate courses during the summer. Having my project accepted, so that I could start working on it is great. Plus, I was told by my academic advisor that, most students work on defining their master's thesis during the summer in between their first year and second year, so yes, I am ahead now, lol, and it feels great, lol.
I am really glad that I am back on track and could hopefully complet my program by the end of the year! My academic advisor never told me that I have to work on my thesis for two semesters; otherwise I would have start working on defining the topic from the very first semester. Even though I did not know, but still I did start being worried about my thesis from the first semester, I just didn't get anywhere because of my now advisor's health issue!
The other best news is that I have a summer research assistantship job. My thesis advisor had talked to another professor, that he collaborates with, who is from his other department, and they have come up with funding for me! I think I have mentioned that my thesis advisor has appointments from two departments, my current department and my undergrad department. These two departments are actually part of two different colleges. Anyhow, the pay is not much, but I am super excited about the opportunity. It is such a nice surprise! Everyone I talked to told me that all the positions have been filled, plus my department mostly grants RA and TA positions to the Ph.D. students; they don't have much funding and they have many Ph.D. students. But apparently my undergraduate department has more funding! Anyhow, I am also getting a free course out of it! My thesis advisor told me that they are paying the tuition for my summer thesis course. So I am really excited and happy.
Thus, I did not get the high paying industry job, that responsibility wise was not that exciting and interesting to me, but I got a low paying research opportunity that is in the area that I came to school for, and I want my next job's projects to be primarily in this area! lol.
Just to put it in perspective, lol, I did the math! The summer stipend plus the tuition for one course is equal to about one month of the industry job's salary, after taxes. But working on a project that could help me with my thesis, being paid to work on the kind of problem that I have been hoping to get my hands on for the past couple of years, and that I am hoping to find my next job dealing mostly with these kind of problems, is priceless, lol!
I was thinking, in an alternate universe, lol, if I had gotten an offer from that industry job, knowing the little I know regarding the responsibilities and pay, and this research assistantship, both at the same time that I could have chosen from, I know, without hesitation, and without thinking twice about it, I would have picked the school's RA position.
I am off to my younger sister's. Then on Sunday, my man and I are driving up north to Montreal, before I come back and start my summer job/thesis on the 23rd.
I am so glad that my thesis got accepted, otherwise I had to take another independent study class, which I know I could have learned a lot, but I was not prepared to do that! My department does not offer instructional graduate courses during the summer. Having my project accepted, so that I could start working on it is great. Plus, I was told by my academic advisor that, most students work on defining their master's thesis during the summer in between their first year and second year, so yes, I am ahead now, lol, and it feels great, lol.
I am really glad that I am back on track and could hopefully complet my program by the end of the year! My academic advisor never told me that I have to work on my thesis for two semesters; otherwise I would have start working on defining the topic from the very first semester. Even though I did not know, but still I did start being worried about my thesis from the first semester, I just didn't get anywhere because of my now advisor's health issue!
The other best news is that I have a summer research assistantship job. My thesis advisor had talked to another professor, that he collaborates with, who is from his other department, and they have come up with funding for me! I think I have mentioned that my thesis advisor has appointments from two departments, my current department and my undergrad department. These two departments are actually part of two different colleges. Anyhow, the pay is not much, but I am super excited about the opportunity. It is such a nice surprise! Everyone I talked to told me that all the positions have been filled, plus my department mostly grants RA and TA positions to the Ph.D. students; they don't have much funding and they have many Ph.D. students. But apparently my undergraduate department has more funding! Anyhow, I am also getting a free course out of it! My thesis advisor told me that they are paying the tuition for my summer thesis course. So I am really excited and happy.
Thus, I did not get the high paying industry job, that responsibility wise was not that exciting and interesting to me, but I got a low paying research opportunity that is in the area that I came to school for, and I want my next job's projects to be primarily in this area! lol.
Just to put it in perspective, lol, I did the math! The summer stipend plus the tuition for one course is equal to about one month of the industry job's salary, after taxes. But working on a project that could help me with my thesis, being paid to work on the kind of problem that I have been hoping to get my hands on for the past couple of years, and that I am hoping to find my next job dealing mostly with these kind of problems, is priceless, lol!
I was thinking, in an alternate universe, lol, if I had gotten an offer from that industry job, knowing the little I know regarding the responsibilities and pay, and this research assistantship, both at the same time that I could have chosen from, I know, without hesitation, and without thinking twice about it, I would have picked the school's RA position.
I am off to my younger sister's. Then on Sunday, my man and I are driving up north to Montreal, before I come back and start my summer job/thesis on the 23rd.
Movie Review: Something Borrowed!
My younger sister stayed a few days after Mother's Day to take care of a few wedding stuff.
On Monday I was done with one of my finals and while waiting to receive the other, I tagged along with my sister on her errands. In the early afternoon, we were passing a movie theater when I suggested that we should go see "Something Borrowed", lol, if the showtime was near. We checked, and to my delight the next showing was in 10 minutes. So we went in and had the movie theater practically to ourselves, lol. I don't remember the last time that my sister and I went to the movies together, lol!
Growing up we had our own things to do with our own friends! Yes, sometimes I joined my sister and her friends, and sometimes she tagged along with me and my friends, but we rarely were by ourselves. And if we were not with our friends we were with the family.
When I went to college, even though I stayed close, I lived on campus, and she got too wrapped up in her team, games, practices, and camps (she played basketball all through high school and college), that we didn't hang out together much. After I graduated from college, I started dating and subsequently married my ex, and if my sister and I hung out, my ex was with us. By the time I got a divorce, my sister had already moved away to go to graduate school. I did not go visit her much; she mostly came to visit all of us. I think I have visited her more in the past six months then the prior six years! When she came for a visit, she stayed with me for a few nights, which we either went out to dinner, to the mall, or stayed home cooked, talked, drank, and watched TV.
On Monday I was done with one of my finals and while waiting to receive the other, I tagged along with my sister on her errands. In the early afternoon, we were passing a movie theater when I suggested that we should go see "Something Borrowed", lol, if the showtime was near. We checked, and to my delight the next showing was in 10 minutes. So we went in and had the movie theater practically to ourselves, lol. I don't remember the last time that my sister and I went to the movies together, lol!
Growing up we had our own things to do with our own friends! Yes, sometimes I joined my sister and her friends, and sometimes she tagged along with me and my friends, but we rarely were by ourselves. And if we were not with our friends we were with the family.
When I went to college, even though I stayed close, I lived on campus, and she got too wrapped up in her team, games, practices, and camps (she played basketball all through high school and college), that we didn't hang out together much. After I graduated from college, I started dating and subsequently married my ex, and if my sister and I hung out, my ex was with us. By the time I got a divorce, my sister had already moved away to go to graduate school. I did not go visit her much; she mostly came to visit all of us. I think I have visited her more in the past six months then the prior six years! When she came for a visit, she stayed with me for a few nights, which we either went out to dinner, to the mall, or stayed home cooked, talked, drank, and watched TV.
So anyhow, the short review, I liked the movie! I had listened to the audiobooks that this movie is based on and also the sequel "Something Blue", and liked them both. The movie stayed somehow close to the book; there were minor changes, and couple of omissions that I think one in particular should have made it in the movie.
I like both Kate Hudson and Ginnifer Goodwin and they did a good job as Darcy and Rachel. I am going to try and not give too much of the plot away, but if you want to see the movie without being spoiled, maybe you like to stop reading right about now, lol!
If you are still reading, then I guess you want to be spoiled, lol. So here it goes!
The story is about two best friends Darcy and Rachel. Darcy, played by KH, is a happy go lucky person. From Rachel's point of view Darcy gets what she wants, but in reality, I thought, Darcy was content with what she got or didn't. For example, if she didn't get her first choice, she moved on to obtain her second choice. Of course, growing up Darcy had lied about couple of accomplishments, which Rachel considered her own failure, and had bothered her until adulthood!
Anyhow, on the other hand, Rachel, played by GG, is hardworking person and thus expected to succeed by being diligent and serious. And when she didn't succeed she just wouldn't let go and kept dulling on her supposed failure! For instance, in her 30s she was still complaining about not getting into her first choice college! That was actually one of young Darcy's lies, she had said that she got accepted into her first choice college, which happened to be Rachel's first choice college too, but then Darcy later announced that she was going to attend her second choice college, where Rachel was accepted as well, so that they could be together!
My sister said that it was hard to believe that these two could be friends, or could have stayed friends for this long. But I could easily see it, and the reason is because I knew the book's complete story! I think there was a nice dynamic in their relationship, kind of opposite attraction. Darcy looked up to Rachel and Rachel looked up to Darcy! Darcy was content, Rachel was ambitious. Rachel was book smart, Darcy was street smart. Rachel had low self esteem, while Darcy had high self esteem.
Rachel worked hard and was professionally successful; Darcy looked up to Rachel and tried in her own way to be professionally successful as well. Darcy was charming; Rachel wanted to be charming but thought she could never be appealing!
Anyhow, in law school Rachel meets Dexter; little by little she falls for him, but could never believe that he could like her back! However, Dex likes Rachel a lot too, but she misses all his signals! On the night that Rachel and Dex were celebrating their success at law school, and Rachel was trying to get over her inhibition, and was about to show her feelings, Darcy walks into the same restaurant! She invites herself to sit at Rachel and Dex's table, declares that they should play truth and dare game, then tells Dex to ask Rachel out! Embarrassed Rachel says that they are just friends and completely misses how disappointed Dex looks, so Darcy then tells Dex to as ask her out! A while later Rachel pretends that she is tired and wants to go home. Dex offers to take her home, but she says no, and continues why don't you guys have a good time! So Dex thinks that Rachel had set him up with Darcy, since she herself is not interested in him!
Now fast forward six years, Darcy and Dex are engaged and are about to get married. Rachel is maid of honor! It is her 30th Birthday and Darcy has thrown her a surprise party that apparently Rachel knew! The little difference between the book and the movie is the timeline. In the movie Darcy, while toasting Rachel, says there are only 61 days until her wedding day, in the book Rachel's birthday is in May and the wedding is in September.
I told my sister about the timeline in the book and then teased her about her fiancé being snagged (they too have the September wedding, lol). But she said she is confident that as long as I am the maid of honor, she is safe, since I already have my own man, lol.
Anyhow, at the end of the birthday party, the somehow drunk Dex and Rachel kiss, after Rachel tells Dex that she had a crush on him when they were in law school. They end up sleeping together and the next morning they both confess that it was a big mistake.
The movie then tells the story of how Dex and Rachel both in love with each other, struggle with being loyal and faithful to Darcy. On the other hand Darcy has her doubts about getting married, and being with only one man from now on! I think Darcy did not truly love Dex. I thought she only wanted him at first because he was becoming Rachel's best friend. But then she realized that he was a good catch and so she stayed with him. Dex was good looking, smart, professionally successful, charming, his parents were rich, and they loved to spend money on their son, as in buying him a two million dollar mansion! I also think when Rachel had first met Dex, and told Darcy about him, she never said that she had fallen for Dex, and probably had only mentioned how smart and good looking Dex is. So I didn't think Darcy was evil! Anyhow, I got the feeling that Darcy had sensed that Rachel and Dex were growing fond of each other platonically; she thought maybe she was going to lose Rachel, and that was why she interested herself into their equation! Darcy had done the same thing when they were kids! Rachel liked a classmate, Ethan. So Darcy inserted herself into their friendship as well, to the point that the three of them went to their sixth grade dance together!
One of the scenes that were left out from the movie was that around the time of their sixth grade dance, Darcy had told Rachel that Ethan liked her (Darcy) more. She even showed Rachel a letter that she supposedly asked Ethan who he wanted to date, Darcy or Rachel, and Ethan had supposedly circled Darcy's name. However, as grownup Ethan confessed to Rachel that he had never seen such a letter and that he always wanted Rachel, and that is why when Darcy pursued him while back and wanted to sleep with him, he never let her.
So anyhow, I enjoyed this movie; hopefully there would be more chances for me to see my picks of the summer movies.
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