He is a keeper, lol.

My man J and I had our first trip, sort of get to know one another trip. We had an amazing time. He is a wonderful man. I feel so lucky. I am so glad that I kept trying when at first he wouldn't give me the time of day, lol. He truly was not interested in me at first, but I think I kindof/sortof grow on him, lol.

In our vacation, I got the nerve to jokingly mention to him that he did not like me at first, or did he? I am really flattered by his explanation, but I kindof/sortof have a hard time buying it, lol. Let me tell you the long story, lol, and then I will write about his reasoning!

Back in February when I decided to attend a talk at my sister's former school, I wrote the organizer of the talk series to asked if I would be allowed to attend those talks. I wrote a little about my background, where I go to school, why I am interested in attending the talk (because of my independent study class), etc. When J wrote back he said that it was a small world! It turned out that he had attended the same school I am attending, and got his Ph.D., a few years back, from the same department I am in now, lol. He also mentioned that his thesis advisor was professor expert (PE), who my independent study professor (ISP) and I turned to if I had questions. Anyhow, he told me that I was welcome to attend the talk, and asked if I got there before half an hour prior to the talk, to stop by his office.

On the day of the talk, on her way to work, my sister dropped me off, and so I had enough time to go talk to J.

I am not very comfortable in social situation, especially if I am meeting someone for the first time! Professional settings are easier though, since usually I am very interested to talk about mine/their research/projects/education, etc. And as long as we are discussing professional topics, I am comfortable and engaging. But if somehow, at some point, the other person directs the conversation to other topics, more personal in nature, I get very uneasy very fast! On a personal setting, I try to prepare myself ahead of time, for example when having a date, I think about good conversation topics that are a bit more personal in nature, lol, but not too personal!

With J it was very different! Even though we met in a professional setting, I wanted to get to know him personally from the get go, and become fast friends with him, lol. It could be that since we had lots to talk about, I felt at ease him; it was fun to compare the department and professors now and back when he was there. But I so wanted to ask him if he was married, lol! Really, I have been asked this question, a few times actually, on the first meeting, lol! Once when I had started a new job, a colleague that I had just met asked me first if I had any children and then if I was married! Another time it was at a conference, as the day progressed, the person sitting next to me asked if I was married! I don't think either one had any intention other than getting to know me, but still it made me uncomfortable! Repeated times has not made it easy, every time I get asked this kind of unexpected questions in a profession setting, I freeze, lol!

Anyhow, I was so very interested in J, however, he was not interested in me at all!  But then after about a month or so he was suddenly interested! This was a mystery to me, lol, and the reason I jokingly mentioned it to him on our vacation!

Back to our first meeting, J told me how much he misses working with PE and asked how come I was not working with him. PE is very recognized in the area I was studying, and everyone in my department who is considering that area of research, wants to work with PE. I told J that I did not know PE, and was not familiar with his research interest at first. When I approached ISP about possibly working with him, he told me about PE. I said but since I am a master's students, PE wouldn't have accepted to work with me anyway, so ISP accepted to guide me in my independent study, even though it was not his research interest, and we decided to turn to PE, if I had any questions or concern that ISP could not provide the answer.

So yes, we talked professional stuff the entire time! We then walked toward were the talk was, and he got busy with the speaker. When he was introducing the speaker, I finally got a chance, and nerve, to look at his left hands, and thankfully I thought, lol, no ring, lol. After the talk, I was hoping to get a chance to talk to J again, but when I saw how busy he was, I thanked him quickly and said goodbye.

Before meeting J, I had no intention of attending more talks at that school any time soon, but I just couldn't get his thoughts out of my mind afterward, lol. So the next weekend I came back to my sister's, and both Saturday and Sunday mornings, I walked passed J's office, knocked on the door, hoping that he would be there! I didn't have much, if anything, to say to him, but I just wanted to see him again! I also thought if he was there, then there would be a good chance that he was not involved with anyone, lol! I felt like a stalker, lol, I know, not funny!

Anyhow, he was not in his office that weekend. Thus, I reasoned that my only chance to see him again, was to attend more talks. Which I did, but unfortunately, I was not able to get much of his time, and even then, I never got the nerve to turn the conversation personal. So I concluded that if I was going to get his attention for more than few minutes, we had to meet somewhere else, hopefully attend the same conference.

While I was hoping to attend a conference and was optimistic that J would be there too, I continued emailing him, but only discussed the talks/research. Then toward the end of March, two days before one of the talks in my department, the speaker was in a minor accident. She was OK, but was shaken up, and so she postponed her talk. A few hours after the email telling us that the talk was cancelled, another email was sent that PE had decided to give a talk instead. Right away I thought this could be a good opportunity to see J.

Even thought it was only one day before the talk, but since the talk was on Friday afternoon, I hoped that J would be able to attend the talk. Thus, I forwarded him the information. He wrote back, thanking me for sending him the info, said that he had planned to drive to my home state to see his friends, and he wants very much to attend PE's talk. He wrote that he needed to talk to his friends to find out about their plans and schedule for that weekend, before he could say for sure that he was attending the talk.

Later that day, he emailed me and said that he was going to attend the talk. He had also mentioned which PE's articles he was reading or rereading before the talk, and encouraged me, if I had time, to also check them out. He then surprised the heck out of me, lol. He wrote that he was going to get there an hour before the talk, and asked if would like to grab lunch with him! He mentioned that we would have a chance to discuss PE's articles before his talk! Of course I wrote back promptly, said great to lunch, and give him my phone number to call when he got to school.

Now, why sudden change of heart, lol, apparently while he was on the department site, checking PE's articles, he got interested to find out about my articles, lol, so he had gone to my school page, and had also seen where and when I graduated college.

See the level and time of interest, lol! I googled him the first chance I got after I met him! He only checked my page to see my articles, over a month after we had met, lol!

Anyhow, that Friday, even though all through lunch we talked about PE's research, but I didn't mind, I was very happy to be having lunch with J, lol. We then went to the talk, and sit next to each other!  Yes, I was not able to concentrate fully on the talk, lol, having him that close to me, lol! I am just kidding, lol; the talk had my complete and absolute attention. It was a great talk.

Afterward, he said that he wanted to talk to PE, but asked if later, I did not have any plans, to meet him, and go to dinner with his friends. I told him that I had no plans, and so we met up, drove to the restaurant, met with his friends, and had a great time. A few of his friends had also graduated from my current department and they shared their funny memories. It was so much fun hanging out with them. J then gave me a ride home, and finally we were sharing personal tidbits. That was almost two months ago, and “the beginning of a beautiful friendship”, lol.

Last Sunday was exactly three months since we met. While stopping for lunch, apparently exactly around the time that we had met, lol, he gave the most thoughtful and beautiful gift! It is a three interlocking bangle bracelet; he said each bangle signifying a month we know each other! I LOVE it. It is so beautiful, but more than that, it is such a thoughtful gift. I was speechless. He then asked if I had remembered! I told him that I was good with dates and remembering small details; I said, but I usually try to not make a big deal out of them, lol! He said he makes me a deal, lol. He said, if I remind us of important dates and small details, lol, he then could make a big deal out of them for us, lol! He is funny!

Somehow I knew J was a jewel when I met him. I am so glad that I was patient and stepped outside my comfort zone to get to know him when he was not interested in getting to know me.

So his explanation, he thought I was much younger than him, actually, much much younger, lol. He said everyone he knew in a master's or Ph.D. program, if they were fulltime and had just started, he had known them to be in their 20s! Older students in a master's program, he knew to be almost always part-time, and holding fulltime jobs! Apparently, he was not interested in hanging out with, or personally getting to know someone, from school who is 20-something!

PLEASE, I don't look like I could be 20-something, lol! For someone as bright, intelligent, and quick to understand, and absorb difficult materials, he was thick in this occasion, lol!

Apparently when he had checked my school page and saw that I graduated college two years ahead of him, he wanted to get to know me, lol!

Since I have gotten to know J personally, I often think what ifs! What if I had written him off when I felt that he was not interested in me! What if I had not gotten to know what an incredible amazing person he is! But then I remind myself that I did NOT write him off, and that I am with him, now! So I tell myself to let go of the negative thoughts and fast!