Summer jobs!

I started my research assistantship job this week. I am really excited. Reading a good third of the articles that my professors had given me before my trip, and showing up this week ready to ask detailed questions was the right move, lol. They were actually pretty surprised at the amount of reading I had done! Yes, even my thesis advisor, who has been guiding me for few months now, and who has been impressed by me enough to suggest creating an RA position for me, was surprised!

Of course this was not the first time that my professors had little confidence in my capabilities! Discounting my many years of industry experience and also my maturity, lol, is not a smart decision. I might not be able to, or willing to, stay up all night to study, but I have learned to take the most out of the few working hours I have during the day.

In the industry, I worked in the R&D department. I read many scientific articles and tried to take advantage of the new technology. I had deadlines, and I had multiple projects. So yes, I learned how to be efficient; otherwise it just wouldn't have worked!

Anyhow, I am so glad that I was able to make headway so far this week, since my advisor informed me that he is travelling a lot this summer, but he would be accessible through Skype. I have met with him thought Skype, couple of times, during the semester, when he was a bit weak to come to campus. I am not too excited about having remote meetings with him! Being in his office, having the board to write on, and point to, is so very convenient. I hope that I would be able to meet in his office more often.

I LOVE my lab mates. They are very friendly, and very approachable. They have been working together in the lab at least since the beginning of the year. I am the only new one among them. So they invited me to have lunch with them the first day and we all got acquainted. I am so glad my summer job is in this department, rather than my own department! And I became a BFF, lol! During the lunch a few were complaining about a tool they are using, which I agreed has a steep learning curve. I had used that tool at work, for almost 10 years, on and off. So when they were complaining about how complex using it is, I offered to answer any questions they might have, and so I became their new BFF, lol. One person even printed that all questions regarding that tool should be directed to me, and posted it on our information board, lol. They are bunch of fun people.

On the other news, my impulse to want to buy cloths has returned with my smaller size, lol! Earlier in the week I told my mom that I would tag along with her next time that she is going to the mall. She said how about Thursday? She asked me to come over for dinner and said afterwards we go shopping.

We just got back from the mall. I got a dress, and a skinny jeans. My first skinny pants actually! My mom got me another dress. She picked it herself and said if I liked it she buys it for me! I didn't care for the dress on the hanger, especially with the knot in front near the hip. But then I decided to put it on. I thought it would be easier to say no to my mom when the dress looks awful on me. To my surprise, it actually looks great on me. I went a size up (that would be size 8, lol) yes I am back to single digit size. I cannot believe it myself, lol! So yes with a larger size it is lose a bit, and it looks great. Thus extremely thankful of my mom I let her spoil me, lol.

Here are my two dresses, lol.

You see, for the past few years, I have bought almost all my cloths online. I would wait and wait until they arrive, then I would get very disappointed when most of them would look very ill on me, and I had to return them.

Before our vacation, I went shopping with my sister. Everything I liked and tried on looked good on me. So I ended up buying couple of shorts, couple of summer skirts, and a dress. My sister gave me a few shirts and tees that she had not worn for a while, and I thought with a few pieces of my own that still looks OK on me, I would be set until my weight settles down, and also I receive my summer stipend check. I thought then I would go shopping again.

But I was asked to teach a few training classes for a good pay, lol.

During the spring semester, we used a computer program in one of my classes. I got lucky in January when I was allowed to attend a full day training class for that program, aimed at training students/staff employed by the IT department, who were going to teach this program in one hour training classes during the semester.

I liked working with that software. Also when in February I interviewed for the industry job, and was told that the position requires working with that program extensively, for a few weeks I searched for code examples. I tried them, studied them, modified them a bit, and thus become very familiar with almost all the capabilities of that program.

On Monday I got an email from a manager at the IT department asking if I was willing to teach six one-hour training classes this week. Apparently a summer instructor just informed the IT department that he does not want to take the class time to teach that program, because of time constraint, and had asked IT to conduct the training. IT department then realized that none of their regular semester student employees are around, and their staff is busy with other duties! Apparently someone had mentioned my name, and thus the email.

I responded that I would be happy to teach the training classes, since I figured there is no need to prepare for them. I could just show up, walk the students through the designated workbooks, and get paid. The pay is not bad actually, lol, and I am getting a check next Friday.

Anyhow, I LOVE my skinny jeans. It looks good on me, lol, hopefully in a month or so it would look even better! It is a bit tight in the waist now, but fits perfectly in the hip. My body is a rectangle shape, so most pants that fit my waist might be big in the hip, and pants that fit my hip could be a bit tight in waist. I think I can get away with wearing a loose shirt over it for now. I have made a pact with myself, lol! I am thinking if I lose this bit of muffin top I should buy myself another skinny pants, lol. Yeap, the monster shopaholic in me has woken up, lol.

Grades and Running!

I got my grades for this past semester: two A and one A-. Thus far I have two A and three A-. My goal for the summer is to work hard on my thesis and hopefully even out my A and A-, lol, and then hopefully be able to hold on to that GPA for the rest of my program.

I am very excited about starting my thesis. Before leaving both professors that I shall be working with in the summer, gave me reading materials. Even though I didn't think I would have time to read anything, but I printed bunch of stuff at my sister's and took them with us on our trip! Good decision, since on the car rides I was able to read some, and discuss them with J.

It was fun; for the first time discussing articles with J, we were on equal ground, lol. The stuff we were reading on our trip were mostly written by people in my undergrad discipline. Obviously I have stronger background in that field, having worked in that discipline for almost 20 years. Of course the articles had used many concepts from my graduate field, but the audience was assumed to be people in my undergrad discipline. Anyhow, when we couldn't understand or follow the author's reasoning, J would try to break down their reasoning and speculated what they could have meant, which allowed me to either remember and come to the same conclusion as the authors, or have specific questions for my professors to ask them when we meet with this week. As a graduate student, I do not like to go to my professor and say I do not understand this part, but asking specific question, I think is reasonable!

On the running front, my long run this week was 6 miles. At the beginning of the year I set a goal to train and run a race in the fall. I have decided to run a half marathon in mid November. To get me started I have also picked couple of 5Ks and 10Ks to run this summer and into the fall. I shall post all the races I like to run on the side.

J is a runner; he runs 6-8 miles, five times a week. We run almost every day on our trip and he coached me on how to increase my speed. That is going to be my main concern, to increase my speed. I now average 12 minute miles! I have been wondering the last time that I was at this weight, about five years ago, what was my speed! As I got bigger, I slowed down my running, since I did not want to put pressure on my knees. That was why the last couple of years at the gym, I run less, and choose elliptical more often instead. On the elliptical I was able to keep increasing my level, and actually reached the maximum last summer, which was 14 on my former gym's machines, and burned in excess of 750 calories in 45 minutes! Anyhow, I have written my exercise routines, along with my speed, incline for treadmill and difficulty level for other cardio machines, and time, in my journal. I am going to try and find my journals in my packed stuff hopefully this week.

My two best friends and I used to meet Friday nights after work for pizza. The goal was to just relax, have pizza, and catch up with each other's lives. Sometimes they included their families too. Having pizza, was so that no cooking or cleaning required.  When I started school, I told them that I was not going to join them until I am done with school, they stopped meeting too.

We have been posting on facebook ideas to revive our weekly get together, especially since our other best friend, who has been living overseas with her family, is moving back. There is making your own pizza, or vegetarian night suggestions. But both requires that we cook and clean! There is also suggestion of raw food night, salads, or no cook soups like Gazpacho, or Avocado soup. But those also require preparation and cleaning!

Than last week, our friend who is moving back to the states, suggested Saturday morning running group. She suggested that we meet for a run, and then go to breakfast. I loved the idea, but our two other friends not so much! They are more of a yoga, spinning, and in controlled climate, kind of exercisers.  It is so funny reading their posts back and forth. I did post once or twice, but the one friend who is pro running group can easily handle both of the other two who are against the running group! She single-handedly persuaded them to give the running a try for a few weeks.

Anyhow, as we stand, the plan is for the three of us, who are living in the same time zone, to start running the first week of June. Our overseas friend is due here in July. She said once she is here, she and I can go for a run, and then our other two friends can join us for breakfast only, lol! We all know that it is not going to happen, lol. There is no way the two non-runners just join the two runners for breakfast, lol! We have always been in a healthy competition with each other! So it shall be fun to see what is going to happen, lol!

I am not only very excited about meeting my best friends on a weekly bases again, but I am also very excited that I am not going to get bored and talk myself out of my long run, sometimes in the middle of the summer, when the mileage has increased. Plus, with this plan of get together, I can continue my vegetarian way, and also watch my calorie consumption, to hopefully lose more weight. I am thinking I can splurge and have a big breakfast, and then cut back on what I eat the rest of the day. Or be reasonable, lol, and have as much as I usually eat for breakfast. We shall see.

In any case, I am considering tomorrow as the first day of my summer, lol, and there are three things in my mind this summer: J, my thesis/research, and my running. Here is hoping for a happy and successful summer.

He is a keeper, lol.

My man J and I had our first trip, sort of get to know one another trip. We had an amazing time. He is a wonderful man. I feel so lucky. I am so glad that I kept trying when at first he wouldn't give me the time of day, lol. He truly was not interested in me at first, but I think I kindof/sortof grow on him, lol.

In our vacation, I got the nerve to jokingly mention to him that he did not like me at first, or did he? I am really flattered by his explanation, but I kindof/sortof have a hard time buying it, lol. Let me tell you the long story, lol, and then I will write about his reasoning!

Back in February when I decided to attend a talk at my sister's former school, I wrote the organizer of the talk series to asked if I would be allowed to attend those talks. I wrote a little about my background, where I go to school, why I am interested in attending the talk (because of my independent study class), etc. When J wrote back he said that it was a small world! It turned out that he had attended the same school I am attending, and got his Ph.D., a few years back, from the same department I am in now, lol. He also mentioned that his thesis advisor was professor expert (PE), who my independent study professor (ISP) and I turned to if I had questions. Anyhow, he told me that I was welcome to attend the talk, and asked if I got there before half an hour prior to the talk, to stop by his office.

On the day of the talk, on her way to work, my sister dropped me off, and so I had enough time to go talk to J.

I am not very comfortable in social situation, especially if I am meeting someone for the first time! Professional settings are easier though, since usually I am very interested to talk about mine/their research/projects/education, etc. And as long as we are discussing professional topics, I am comfortable and engaging. But if somehow, at some point, the other person directs the conversation to other topics, more personal in nature, I get very uneasy very fast! On a personal setting, I try to prepare myself ahead of time, for example when having a date, I think about good conversation topics that are a bit more personal in nature, lol, but not too personal!

With J it was very different! Even though we met in a professional setting, I wanted to get to know him personally from the get go, and become fast friends with him, lol. It could be that since we had lots to talk about, I felt at ease him; it was fun to compare the department and professors now and back when he was there. But I so wanted to ask him if he was married, lol! Really, I have been asked this question, a few times actually, on the first meeting, lol! Once when I had started a new job, a colleague that I had just met asked me first if I had any children and then if I was married! Another time it was at a conference, as the day progressed, the person sitting next to me asked if I was married! I don't think either one had any intention other than getting to know me, but still it made me uncomfortable! Repeated times has not made it easy, every time I get asked this kind of unexpected questions in a profession setting, I freeze, lol!

Anyhow, I was so very interested in J, however, he was not interested in me at all!  But then after about a month or so he was suddenly interested! This was a mystery to me, lol, and the reason I jokingly mentioned it to him on our vacation!

Back to our first meeting, J told me how much he misses working with PE and asked how come I was not working with him. PE is very recognized in the area I was studying, and everyone in my department who is considering that area of research, wants to work with PE. I told J that I did not know PE, and was not familiar with his research interest at first. When I approached ISP about possibly working with him, he told me about PE. I said but since I am a master's students, PE wouldn't have accepted to work with me anyway, so ISP accepted to guide me in my independent study, even though it was not his research interest, and we decided to turn to PE, if I had any questions or concern that ISP could not provide the answer.

So yes, we talked professional stuff the entire time! We then walked toward were the talk was, and he got busy with the speaker. When he was introducing the speaker, I finally got a chance, and nerve, to look at his left hands, and thankfully I thought, lol, no ring, lol. After the talk, I was hoping to get a chance to talk to J again, but when I saw how busy he was, I thanked him quickly and said goodbye.

Before meeting J, I had no intention of attending more talks at that school any time soon, but I just couldn't get his thoughts out of my mind afterward, lol. So the next weekend I came back to my sister's, and both Saturday and Sunday mornings, I walked passed J's office, knocked on the door, hoping that he would be there! I didn't have much, if anything, to say to him, but I just wanted to see him again! I also thought if he was there, then there would be a good chance that he was not involved with anyone, lol! I felt like a stalker, lol, I know, not funny!

Anyhow, he was not in his office that weekend. Thus, I reasoned that my only chance to see him again, was to attend more talks. Which I did, but unfortunately, I was not able to get much of his time, and even then, I never got the nerve to turn the conversation personal. So I concluded that if I was going to get his attention for more than few minutes, we had to meet somewhere else, hopefully attend the same conference.

While I was hoping to attend a conference and was optimistic that J would be there too, I continued emailing him, but only discussed the talks/research. Then toward the end of March, two days before one of the talks in my department, the speaker was in a minor accident. She was OK, but was shaken up, and so she postponed her talk. A few hours after the email telling us that the talk was cancelled, another email was sent that PE had decided to give a talk instead. Right away I thought this could be a good opportunity to see J.

Even thought it was only one day before the talk, but since the talk was on Friday afternoon, I hoped that J would be able to attend the talk. Thus, I forwarded him the information. He wrote back, thanking me for sending him the info, said that he had planned to drive to my home state to see his friends, and he wants very much to attend PE's talk. He wrote that he needed to talk to his friends to find out about their plans and schedule for that weekend, before he could say for sure that he was attending the talk.

Later that day, he emailed me and said that he was going to attend the talk. He had also mentioned which PE's articles he was reading or rereading before the talk, and encouraged me, if I had time, to also check them out. He then surprised the heck out of me, lol. He wrote that he was going to get there an hour before the talk, and asked if would like to grab lunch with him! He mentioned that we would have a chance to discuss PE's articles before his talk! Of course I wrote back promptly, said great to lunch, and give him my phone number to call when he got to school.

Now, why sudden change of heart, lol, apparently while he was on the department site, checking PE's articles, he got interested to find out about my articles, lol, so he had gone to my school page, and had also seen where and when I graduated college.

See the level and time of interest, lol! I googled him the first chance I got after I met him! He only checked my page to see my articles, over a month after we had met, lol!

Anyhow, that Friday, even though all through lunch we talked about PE's research, but I didn't mind, I was very happy to be having lunch with J, lol. We then went to the talk, and sit next to each other!  Yes, I was not able to concentrate fully on the talk, lol, having him that close to me, lol! I am just kidding, lol; the talk had my complete and absolute attention. It was a great talk.

Afterward, he said that he wanted to talk to PE, but asked if later, I did not have any plans, to meet him, and go to dinner with his friends. I told him that I had no plans, and so we met up, drove to the restaurant, met with his friends, and had a great time. A few of his friends had also graduated from my current department and they shared their funny memories. It was so much fun hanging out with them. J then gave me a ride home, and finally we were sharing personal tidbits. That was almost two months ago, and “the beginning of a beautiful friendship”, lol.

Last Sunday was exactly three months since we met. While stopping for lunch, apparently exactly around the time that we had met, lol, he gave the most thoughtful and beautiful gift! It is a three interlocking bangle bracelet; he said each bangle signifying a month we know each other! I LOVE it. It is so beautiful, but more than that, it is such a thoughtful gift. I was speechless. He then asked if I had remembered! I told him that I was good with dates and remembering small details; I said, but I usually try to not make a big deal out of them, lol! He said he makes me a deal, lol. He said, if I remind us of important dates and small details, lol, he then could make a big deal out of them for us, lol! He is funny!

Somehow I knew J was a jewel when I met him. I am so glad that I was patient and stepped outside my comfort zone to get to know him when he was not interested in getting to know me.

So his explanation, he thought I was much younger than him, actually, much much younger, lol. He said everyone he knew in a master's or Ph.D. program, if they were fulltime and had just started, he had known them to be in their 20s! Older students in a master's program, he knew to be almost always part-time, and holding fulltime jobs! Apparently, he was not interested in hanging out with, or personally getting to know someone, from school who is 20-something!

PLEASE, I don't look like I could be 20-something, lol! For someone as bright, intelligent, and quick to understand, and absorb difficult materials, he was thick in this occasion, lol!

Apparently when he had checked my school page and saw that I graduated college two years ahead of him, he wanted to get to know me, lol!

Since I have gotten to know J personally, I often think what ifs! What if I had written him off when I felt that he was not interested in me! What if I had not gotten to know what an incredible amazing person he is! But then I remind myself that I did NOT write him off, and that I am with him, now! So I tell myself to let go of the negative thoughts and fast!

Weight Loss Update!

As far back as I can remember, all through high school, college, and in my 20s, I weighed 107 pounds. Yes, of course I would gain a few pounds here and there, during the holidays and vacation, but watching what I eat, drinking more water, and increasing my physical activity for few weeks afterward, I was able to bring my weight right back to 107.

It was just before my 31st birthday when I realized that I had gained a lot of weight and it was neither around holidays, nor had I gone on vacation! I think I was just a few pounds shy of 120 and even my baggy clothes were getting uncomfortable!

One day while eating lunch with my coworker/friend I complained that I had gained a lot of weight. She looked at me and said that I looked great, but encouraged me to join her gym. She said we could workout together after work, everyday. She also suggested lowcarb way of eating.

So I joined her gym, switched to lowcarb diet, and so started my obsession with my weight and the weight fluctuation that continued for about seven years! Yes, I would lose weight, but then during a busy time at work, or holidays, I not only gain all that I had lost, I would gain a few more pounds for good measure!

I am not exaggerating if I say that in that seven year period, all my free time was spend thinking about how can I lose weight! My mind was always on two issues: my eating method, how effective it is, and my exercises regime, how effective it is! I read so many diet and exercise books and tried all that was suggested, but I failed at them all.

In my 20s during the stressful time at work, I would lose weight, because I just couldn't eat. In my 30s during the stressful time at work, I wanted to eat and eat and eat some more!

So you can imagine that when I gave up my gym membership at the end of last August, how concerned I was! I thought I had gained, on the average, eight pounds a year, with all the exercises I did, and all of my efforts to eat right. I thought now, with being busy at school, and no gym, I was going to see 200 pounds for sure by the time I was done with school!

But a pleasant surprise happened! I became so concerned about my finances after I quit my job, that I started watching my grocery spending very carefully! I never paid that much attention to my bills. Yes, I had budget everything, but my budget was initially set based on how much I had spent, so it was more of estimation than reduction. After becoming unemployed, I was trying to reduce my budget, preferably bring it close to zero, lol.

During the first semester, I lived on Atkins bar! I had one for breakfast with my coffee, and 2-3, but mostly 2, during the day, with lots of water. My mid morning yogurt, and mid afternoon mocha was out of the question with my student status. Eating out a few times a week was also out, including Friday's pizza with my best friends which I missed the most! On that note, actually we are trying to revive our Friday's get together since I am not that strapped for cash anymore!

Anyhow, at night, I had one serving of a lowcarb dish that I had made during a weekend, and had divided it into reasonable servings and froze. In the morning, I put one serving out to warm up at night. Everything else was frozen, so I could easily talk myself out of defrosting another serving.

My only form of exercise was my commute to school. I live about 15 minutes walk away from the bus stop, so that was at least half an hour of walk every day.

By the end of my first semester I had lost almost 13 pounds. Then the holidays came around and I gained a few pounds, but afterward, I lost all that I had gained, plus one more, and by the time I started the second semester I had lost over 14 pounds.

During the second semester I switched to a vegetarian diet because of my limited kitchen. I started drinking freshly made juices or smoothies for breakfast. Snack on natural peanut butter on whole grain bread. I took banana, apples, or tangerine to school instead of Atkins bars, and made green salad with homemade dressing for lunch. For dinner I made vegetarian soup or chili and sometimes had it with whole grain bread. Yes, I eat more during the second semester, but my goal was to survive with limited kitchen capability while eating vegetarian.

I also made a pact with myself to walk at least 3 miles, and up to 5 miles, a day. Rain or snow, freezing or not, I told myself, I could walk at least 3 miles. So in the mornings I walked a few stops further to make sure I had walked for about 45 minutes, another 15 minutes was grantee at night. It was not easy, but I was determined!  Maybe just a handful of days, I could not make it to 3 miles during the entire second semester. I am very proud of this accomplishment.

Also during the second semester, because it got dark and freezing early in the evening, I usually left school little after 5 pm to make it home before 6. After the days got longer, I decided to continue this, and on March 13th I started a walk/run routine after I got home, since it was still light. I started with 1 minute run/2 minute walk repeated 6 times with 5 minute warm up and 5 minute cool down, and now I can run 40 minute straight, a little over 5K.

I am so happy to report that in the second semester I lost over 17 pounds for the total of more than 32 pounds since September 1st. So basically I lost about 3.75 pounds a month, during the past 8.5 months. That is a very slow pace I know, but I think slow and steady has worked for me!

What makes this accomplishment sweet, lol, is that I did not make any effort to lose weight! It was because of my new lifestyle that it happened. First semester the stress of staring school, and also for economical reasons I eat less. And second semester, because I set a goal to run a race this coming fall, I needed to start walking, and not having a stove or big refrigerator to cook and freeze my meals, I stared eating more fresh fruits and vegetables.

I have to say, I blend in more at school these days, lol; I think I look younger, lol. My complexion, because of healthy eating, has become clear and youthful, and being thinner, makes you look younger I guess, lol.

I was very embarrassed to admit how much I weighted back in September, but now that I have gotten to a more reasonable number I am not too embarrassed to say that I was up to 163! Seriously! On a small framed 5'4" tall woman, that was a lot of weight to carry around. I am now down to 131. So yes, I am more than half way to the weight my body was comfortable with less than a decade ago!

My plan is to continue my vegetarian way of eating, my runs during the week, my long run on the weekend, and walking everywhere else, all through the summer and into the fall semester. I am very motivated, for one because of my younger sister's upcoming wedding, and two because of the new man in my life. Anyhow, hopefully by the end of the year, my body shall settle on a number that is comfortable for my age. I don't necessarily want to make it back to 107. If my body still likes it there now, in my late 30s, so be it! But if I can't maintain it there, I don't want to get there. I want a weight that I would be able to easily maintain and not obsessed over ever again.

Have a great weekend.

Not what I had planned but exactly what I want!

I have a thesis project! My thesis proposal was accepted by the department as well. So yes, I now officially have a thesis and a thesis advisor.

I am so glad that my thesis got accepted, otherwise I had to take another independent study class, which I know I could have learned a lot, but I was not prepared to do that! My department does not offer instructional graduate courses during the summer. Having my project accepted, so that I could start working on it is great. Plus, I was told by my academic advisor that, most students work on defining their master's thesis during the summer in between their first year and second year, so yes, I am ahead now, lol, and it feels great, lol.

I am really glad that I am back on track and could hopefully complet my program by the end of the year! My academic advisor never told me that I have to work on my thesis for two semesters; otherwise I would have start working on defining the topic from the very first semester. Even though I did not know, but still I did start being worried about my thesis from the first semester, I just didn't get anywhere because of my now advisor's health issue!

The other best news is that I have a summer research assistantship job. My thesis advisor had talked to another professor, that he collaborates with, who is from his other department, and they have come up with funding for me! I think I have mentioned that my thesis advisor has appointments from two departments, my current department and my undergrad department. These two departments are actually part of two different colleges. Anyhow, the pay is not much, but I am super excited about the opportunity. It is such a nice surprise! Everyone I talked to told me that all the positions have been filled, plus my department mostly grants RA and TA positions to the Ph.D. students; they don't have much funding and they have many Ph.D. students.  But apparently my undergraduate department has more funding! Anyhow, I am also getting a free course out of it! My thesis advisor told me that they are paying the tuition for my summer thesis course. So I am really excited and happy.

Thus, I did not get the high paying industry job, that responsibility wise was not that exciting and interesting to me, but I got a low paying research opportunity that is in the area that I came to school for, and I want my next job's projects to be primarily in this area! lol.

Just to put it in perspective, lol, I did the math! The summer stipend plus the tuition for one course is equal to about one month of the industry job's salary, after taxes. But working on a project that could help me with my thesis, being paid to work on the kind of problem that I have been hoping to get my hands on for the past couple of years, and that I am hoping to find my next job dealing mostly with these kind of problems, is priceless, lol!

I was thinking, in an alternate universe, lol, if I had gotten an offer from that industry job, knowing the little I know regarding the responsibilities and pay, and this research assistantship, both at the same time that I could have chosen from, I know, without hesitation, and without thinking twice about it, I would have picked the school's RA position.

I am off to my younger sister's. Then on Sunday, my man and I are driving up north to Montreal, before I come back and start my summer job/thesis on the 23rd.

Movie Review: Something Borrowed!

My younger sister stayed a few days after Mother's Day to take care of a few wedding stuff. 

On Monday I was done with one of my finals and while waiting to receive the other, I tagged along with my sister on her errands. In the early afternoon, we were passing a movie theater when I suggested that we should go see "Something Borrowed", lol, if the showtime was near. We checked, and to my delight the next showing was in 10 minutes. So we went in and had the movie theater practically to ourselves, lol. I don't remember the last time that my sister and I went to the movies together, lol!

Growing up we had our own things to do with our own friends! Yes, sometimes I joined my sister and her friends, and sometimes she tagged along with me and my friends, but we rarely were by ourselves. And if we were not with our friends we were with the family.

When I went to college, even though I stayed close, I lived on campus, and she got too wrapped up in her team, games, practices, and camps (she played basketball all through high school and college), that we didn't hang out together much. After I graduated from college, I started dating and subsequently married my ex, and if my sister and I hung out, my ex was with us. By the time I got a divorce, my sister had already moved away to go to graduate school. I did not go visit her much; she mostly came to visit all of us. I think I have visited her more in the past six months then the prior six years! When she came for a visit, she stayed with me for a few nights, which we either went out to dinner, to the mall, or stayed home cooked, talked, drank, and watched TV.

So anyhow, the short review, I liked the movie! I had listened to the audiobooks that this movie is based on and also the sequel "Something Blue", and liked them both. The movie stayed somehow close to the book; there were minor changes, and couple of omissions that I think one in particular should have made it in the movie.

I like both Kate Hudson and Ginnifer Goodwin and they did a good job as Darcy and Rachel. I am going to try and not give too much of the plot away, but if you want to see the movie without being spoiled, maybe you like to stop reading right about now, lol!

If you are still reading, then I guess you want to be spoiled, lol. So here it goes!

The story is about two best friends Darcy and Rachel. Darcy, played by KH, is a happy go lucky person. From Rachel's point of view Darcy gets what she wants, but in reality, I thought, Darcy was content with what she got or didn't. For example, if she didn't get her first choice, she moved on to obtain her second choice. Of course, growing up Darcy had lied about couple of accomplishments, which Rachel considered her own failure, and had bothered her until adulthood!

Anyhow, on the other hand, Rachel, played by GG, is hardworking person and thus expected to succeed by being diligent and serious. And when she didn't succeed she just wouldn't let go and kept dulling on her supposed failure! For instance, in her 30s she was still complaining about not getting into her first choice college! That was actually one of young Darcy's lies, she had said that she got accepted into her first choice college, which happened to be Rachel's first choice college too, but then Darcy later announced that she was going to attend her second choice college, where Rachel was accepted as well, so that they could be together!

My sister said that it was hard to believe that these two could be friends, or could have stayed friends for this long. But I could easily see it, and the reason is because I knew the book's complete story! I think there was a nice dynamic in their relationship, kind of opposite attraction. Darcy looked up to Rachel and Rachel looked up to Darcy! Darcy was content, Rachel was ambitious. Rachel was book smart, Darcy was street smart. Rachel had low self esteem, while Darcy had high self esteem.

Rachel worked hard and was professionally successful; Darcy looked up to Rachel and tried in her own way to be professionally successful as well. Darcy was charming; Rachel wanted to be charming but thought she could never be appealing!

Anyhow, in law school Rachel meets Dexter; little by little she falls for him, but could never believe that he could like her back! However, Dex likes Rachel a lot too, but she misses all his signals! On the night that Rachel and Dex were celebrating their success at law school, and Rachel was trying to get over her inhibition, and was about to show her feelings, Darcy walks into the same restaurant! She invites herself to sit at Rachel and Dex's table, declares that they should play truth and dare game, then tells Dex to ask Rachel out! Embarrassed Rachel says that they are just friends and completely misses how disappointed Dex looks, so Darcy then tells Dex to as ask her out! A while later Rachel pretends that she is tired and wants to go home. Dex offers to take her home, but she says no, and continues why don't you guys have a good time! So Dex thinks that Rachel had set him up with Darcy, since she herself is not interested in him!

Now fast forward six years, Darcy and Dex are engaged and are about to get married. Rachel is maid of honor! It is her 30th Birthday and Darcy has thrown her a surprise party that apparently Rachel knew! The little difference between the book and the movie is the timeline. In the movie Darcy, while toasting Rachel, says there are only 61 days until her wedding day, in the book Rachel's birthday is in May and the wedding is in September.

I told my sister about the timeline in the book and then teased her about her fiancé being snagged (they too have the September wedding, lol). But she said she is confident that as long as I am the maid of honor, she is safe, since I already have my own man, lol.

Anyhow, at the end of the birthday party, the somehow drunk Dex and Rachel kiss, after Rachel tells Dex that she had a crush on him when they were in law school. They end up sleeping together and the next morning they both confess that it was a big mistake.

The movie then tells the story of how Dex and Rachel both in love with each other, struggle with being loyal and faithful to Darcy. On the other hand Darcy has her doubts about getting married, and being with only one man from now on! I think Darcy did not truly love Dex. I thought she only wanted him at first because he was becoming Rachel's best friend. But then she realized that he was a good catch and so she stayed with him. Dex was good looking, smart, professionally successful, charming, his parents were rich, and they loved to spend money on their son, as in buying him a two million dollar mansion! I also think when Rachel had first met Dex, and told Darcy about him, she never said that she had fallen for Dex, and probably had only mentioned how smart and good looking Dex is. So I didn't think Darcy was evil! Anyhow, I got the feeling that Darcy had sensed that Rachel and Dex were growing fond of each other platonically; she thought maybe she was going to lose Rachel, and that was why she interested herself into their equation! Darcy had done the same thing when they were kids! Rachel liked a classmate, Ethan. So Darcy inserted herself into their friendship as well, to the point that the three of them went to their sixth grade dance together!

One of the scenes that were left out from the movie was that around the time of their sixth grade dance, Darcy had told Rachel that Ethan liked her (Darcy) more. She even showed Rachel a letter that she supposedly asked Ethan who he wanted to date, Darcy or Rachel, and Ethan had supposedly circled Darcy's name. However, as grownup Ethan confessed to Rachel that he had never seen such a letter and that he always wanted Rachel, and that is why when Darcy pursued him while back and wanted to sleep with him, he never let her.

So anyhow, I enjoyed this movie; hopefully there would be more chances for me to see my picks of the summer movies.

Summer movies!

So what do you do, when you are at your parents, even if it is only for a night, you are in the middle of your finals, and there is no job prospect in sight for the summer? Well you feel like a kid again, and plan what summer movies you want to see, lol!

Here are my picks:

April 22

Water for Elephants

Rachel is a talented attorney at a top New York law firm, a generous and loyal friend and, unhappily, still single as her engaged best friend Darcy is constantly reminding her. But after one drink too many at her 30th birthday party, perpetual good girl Rachel unexpectedly ends up in bed with the guy she's had a crush on since law school, Dex, who just happens to be Darcy's fiance. When Rachel and Darcy's lifelong friendship collides with true love, it leads to unexpected complications and potentially explosive romantic revelations. Meanwhile, Ethan, who has been Rachel's constant confidante and sometimes conscience, has been harboring a secret of his own, and Marcus, an irrepressible womanizer, can't keep his mind out of the gutter or his hands off any girl within reach. 

May 6

Something Borrowed

Rachel is a talented attorney at a top New York law firm, a generous and loyal friend and, unhappily, still single as her engaged best friend Darcy is constantly reminding her. But after one drink too many at her 30th birthday party, perpetual good girl Rachel unexpectedly ends up in bed with the guy she's had a crush on since law school, Dex, who just happens to be Darcy's fiance. When Rachel and Darcy's lifelong friendship collides with true love, it leads to unexpected complications and potentially explosive romantic revelations. Meanwhile, Ethan, who has been Rachel's constant confidante and sometimes conscience, has been harboring a secret of his own, and Marcus, an irrepressible womanizer, can't keep his mind out of the gutter or his hands off any girl within reach. 

May 13
Bridesmaids
The movie that should finally answer the question: Is there more to “SNL’s’’ Kristen Wiig than Gilly, Dooneese, and that woman who touches her hair a lot? Advance buzz on this raunchy Judd Apatow-produced comedy about a lonely maid of honor (Wiig) coming to terms with the wedding of her friend (Maya Rudolph) is that the queen of late-night schtick goes boldly into Meg Ryan territory and comes out twisted and triumphant. The late Jill Clayburgh has her final role, as Wiig’s mom.

July 1
Larry Crowne
Tom Hanks gets downsized, his house is underwater, he can't figure out what to do with himself. So he goes back to school and falls for his public-speaking teacher, played by Julia Roberts. Hanks also co-wrote and directed. So the economic-troubles bit might have been a stretch for him.

July 29
Crazy, Stupid, Love
Steve Carell's marriage goes sour; ladies' man Ryan Gosling is there to help, after a fashion. Also starring Emma Stone, Marisa Tomei, Julianne Moore. What? Was Kevin Bacon busy? Oh, guess not. He's here, too.

August 12
The Help
Emma Stone, Viola Davis and Octavia Spencer star in the movie version of Kathryn Stockett's popular novel. Tate Taylor, who also wrote the screenplay, directs.

August 19
One Day
David Nichols’s sleeper bestseller is now a movie about the on-again off-again relationship between two former classmates, played by Anne Hathaway and Jim Sturgess.

August 31
The Debt
Helen Mirren, Sam Worthington and Tom Wilkinson star in this oft-delayed story of Mossad agents trying to find and kill a Nazi war criminal.

I shall review them here as soon as I see them; should be an interesting summer viewing, lol.

Happy Mother's Day.

I hope that all moms had a great day; my mom sure did. I guess she is always happy when we all get together, and all of us were by her side this year; my younger sister and I the whole day, and our two older sisters until the early afternoon.

The happiness of my younger sister is truly rubbing off on all of us, lol. She even announced that she is hopeful to be a mom herself by 2013! For the first time in a very long time, I was neither jealous nor envious of my sister's lives. I love my own life right now; I am content and happy with what I have and what I don't have!

On a professional front, I am very proud of my accomplishments in the past 8 months or so. I feel that I have put my career right back on track and where I want it to go. The bonus, in the process, I did not make myself go bankrupt or jeopardize losing my house. I feel that next year at this time, hopefully, I shall either be employed or soon to be employed, and shall either be working, or soon to be working, on challenging and exciting projects.

Of course I have not been able to follow what I had originally planned with the timeline that I had planned it; I had detours, lol! But I think at the end I shall get to my goal.

When I dropped one of my classes last semester it meant that I would not graduate, as I had first planned, in December. I was also informed that at least, I need a year (two semesters) to work on my thesis. So everything was, and to some extend still is, pointing to me graduating next May, but I am hopeful!

I started on my thesis early and worked very hard this past semester. I have written my proposal, my soon to be thesis advisor has read it, and has put his stamp of approval on it. The department has to officially approve it as well, but I think as long as I have my thesis advisor on my side, department's approval is just formality. So once my topic is approved by the department, I could take a thesis course during the summer and give it my 200% attention. Since I don't have any other obligation, I could make headway on my thesis this summer. So this way, hopefully, I shall not only fix the one course deficit of my first semester, but I shall also be on track of completing my thesis by the end of the year. Thus if I work hard, which I know I shall, I would be on my way of completing my program by December.

Another goal of mine that did not go as I had planned was having a summer job! Hopefully once I start working on my thesis I would not be bothered by no summer job as much!

On a personal front, I am so excited and happy that I have met the right man; the right man for me. In the past few years, I tried to be content with the men I met and went out with. I always warned myself not to screw the relationship up, even though deep down I knew that he was not the right man for me! But with my man now I am not concern about screwing up, because I know I wouldn't or couldn't. OK, I guess I just jinx myself, lol. With him I just feel so relaxed; I don't want to think about the future, I just want to enjoy the present!

My hope and plan was to meet someone right for me, get married as soon as possible, and start having a baby, but hopefully two; not at the same time of course, lol! But with my man now I feel that if the marriage and kids happened so much for the better, but as long as I have him in my life, that is enough for me!

I did not bring up the kid issue, but he did casually mention it once that he wants kids. He said his career was more important to him and so he put personal life on hold for a bit! Anyhow, I don't want to get so wrapped up on having a kid so that I don't appreciate having my man in my life.

I have come across couple of women who found their great men, men who love them, men who supported them in accomplishing their dreams and goals, men who included and seek their woman's inspiration and support in every aspect of their life, but then these women went and got so obsessed with getting pregnant that they did not enjoy or appreciate having the life they had. I so don't want to be one of those women. I don't want to take my man for granted!

If having our own kids is in the cards for us so much the better, if not, I guess we cross that bridge when we get to it. I had a coworker who adopted two kids, when they were each younger than two years old, and she just loves them very dearly. I don't think even for a second she thinks that she did not give birth to her kids. They are her kids, she loves them to pieces, lol, and would do anything for them. They always came first and by far. That is what being a mother is all about I guess, loving one's kids unconditionally, and helping them be happy and become successful human beings, not just giving birth to them!

Anyhow, I got my mom Lilac plants for Mother's Day. In the past couple of years, my mom had mentioned a few times that she wanted to get Lilacs for her garden, but she never did. Last weekend, one of my best friends asked me if I wanted to go Mother's Day gift shopping and I jumped at the offer, lol. We went to a nursery and they had four kinds/colors Lilacs. The indecisive that I am, I bought all four, lol. They all had flowers and I was so concern this past week not to kill them, lol. This morning, my younger sister came over and we transferred the plants to our parent's house, still full of the blooms, lol, thankfully. My mom LOVED them. She was so happy.  The smile and excitement in her face; I am so lucky to have her. Anyhow, I helped dig holes and we planted them where my mom wanted them.

In case you are wondering, here are my mom's Lilacs:

Now on to the school front, I have one final down and one to go. The professor had mentioned in his email that the final should take us about 12 hours to complete. Well I took my time, lol, carefully read each question several times, worked them out one by one, then checked my notes and texts for a possible similar examples to be sure that I had done them right, and finally I typed them all up. All in all, I spent about 22 hours on the exam; 8 hours on Friday, 13 hours yesterday, and this morning after my hour run (mostly run, but a minute of walk here and there) I read everything carefully once more and then emailed it to my professor as soon as I got to my parents, so that I could enjoyed the day with my mom, my dad, my bride-to-be-little sister, lol, and the rest of the family.

Yes, I did count my blessing for everything I am so blessed with.

I am done with my second semester!

Well almost! 

I have two take home finals. One shall be emailed to us before noon today and is due Monday before noon. And the other shall be emailed on Tuesday at 8 am and is due before midnight Wednesday.

My independent study is done. In our last meeting for the semester, the professor gave me a written evaluation and then told me that I got an A. I truly deserved it, lol. I worked very hard for that course. Of course I learned a lot too.

If you are reading, wish me luck please that I do well in my finals. Thank you so much and have a great weekend.

My sister is getting married.

Finally they set a date. Late September.

We were actually waiting for them to set a date last summer, but then my sister's soon to be mother-in-law got ill. By December she was so ill that we were all scared for her. She even asked her grown kids to visit her for the holidays without their families/significant other. Christmas Eve, I prayed for her to get healthy; I think we all prayed for her. A miracle happened and she got all better. She invited all her kids with their families/significant other for Easter, and it was there that she told my sister she can't wait to see her in a wedding gown.

So my sister and her soon to be husband came back and set the date. They are getting married in the same church that my two older sisters got married, and are also having the reception in the same venue as theirs. I am so happy for them.

And yes, I am my little sister's maid of honor! lol. She didn't even asked me, lol, she just assumed that I was, and when I jokingly told her that she should have least asked me, she said, would I have asked her or just assumed that she was? I didn't tell her, but I think I would have asked her in a way that is given that she is my maid of honor, lol! Our two older sisters were maid/matron of honor of each other, so I guess we always thought that we would be each other's maid/matron of honor. Hopefully, there would be another marriage for me, and hopefully there would be a planned wedding this time, so I would be able to not ask, lol, but simply assume that, my younger sister to be my matron of honor.

I am so excited for her, and I am so happy for myself, lol, that I have lost weight and I wouldn't be too disgusted with how I look! I still have almost five months to lose more weight and look better! lol. I think I have lost on the average, about 3.5 pounds a month! I know that is very slow, but at least I think I have been consistent! I have not weight myself every month or even every week, but every once in awhile that I did, I saw a smaller number. So hopefully I shall be closer to my ideal weight by the end of September and look good.

I so want her body and her dress, not in white though! lol.

 

I should have known better!

I worked in industry long enough, to know better! I changed jobs enough times, to know better! Throughout the years, I had many conversations about job offer experiences, with numerous close coworkers, family and friends, who had worked in industry long enough, and who had changed jobs enough times, to know better! But I still fell for it!

I had an interview with a small startup company back in February. My former boss had kindly sent my resume, in early fall, to someone who used to work for him, and this hiring manger finally contacted me. He wanted me part-time and to start right away! But my schedule would not allow it! So I tried to talk him into giving me a summer job, and was hopeful that it would turn into a fulltime employment once I was done with school.

The job that he was considering me for, responsibility wise, was maybe 90% what I had done previously, and 10% what I am learning at school. So I thought, hopefully, as time goes, this would reverse, and my responsibilities would end up being 90% related to my graduate work and 10% from my previous experiences in industry. Still this kind of position was far from what I had in mind when I started school and what I am hoping to eventually land.

I tried to talk myself into being content with and somehow excited about this opportunity! I thought I could start with this position and after couple of years eventually move into what my original goal of going back to school was. I reasoned that the pay is great, and that since the company was located in the city and accessible by public transportation, I could delay getting a car, and thus financially I was going to be ahead.Plus I really liked everyone who I talked to, they were all intelligent, hardworking, and really cared about and loved their job. I thought it would be amazing to be part of such group.

In the interview day I talked to the hiring manager twice. He was the first person and then next to the last person I talked to. The second time that we talked he was talking to me as if I was one of them. That was not the case few hours earlier! He started asking me specific questions about how to go about solving the problem "we have", and asked what tools I needed and was going to use! I felt that he was trying to make sure that I had everything I needed before I started so that I could begin being productive from the get go! So yes, I was very excited!

Then I met the HR rep who started negotiating salary with me and talked to me about the benefits that I was not getting, lol, since I would be a temporary employee! She told me that when I become a regular employee then I would be eligible for benefits. She went even further and told me that the Memorial Day, the Independence Day, and possibly the Labor Day if I was still there, that were company holidays, I would get paid since I was a fulltime employee!

So yes, I truly thought that I was going to get an offer within 10 days. In my previous experiences, I had never gotten that far, and not gotten an offer! First of all, usually there was some kind of response within the first two weeks after the interview. It was either, we are making you an offer, or thank you but we feel that you are not a good fit for us. Of course there was also, we like to talk to you further, can you come for the second interview. And secondly after the salary negotiation and benefit explanation, there was an offer within a few days!

Anyhow, when I did not hear back from them within 10 days, I emailed the hiring manager, asking if I was still considered for a summer job. No reply! I waited a week, then I emailed the HR rep. She emailed me back, I think within 24 hours and told me that she had not heard from the hiring manager in this regard, and she was going to contact him right away, and would get back to me very soon. But she never did! I waited few more days, and emailed the hiring manager again. At that point I knew there was no offer, but I was just curious to know what had happened! I knew that I had impressed everyone and felt that from what I was hearing back they felt that I would be a good fit. However, I knew this job was not what I wanted 100%! So, yes, I wanted to know if they had felt that my entire heart was not in it! lol. Still no reply! At the end of March, for the last time, I left a voicemail for the hiring manager, thanked him again for his time, and asked him that I would appreciate it if he would let me know what had gone wrong. And still nothing!

When someone that I respect very much, refers me to someone, or refers someone to me, I try to be extra careful. Since I believe that at that point it is not only my reputation on the line, it is also the person making the referral reputation as well. It might not be entirely true, but that is how I feel. So part of me wanted to be told clearly that the company had changed direction and that my background and knowledge were what they were looking for at first, and also that my impression of the interview, that they were impressed by me, was not wrong!

My best friends talked me into informing my former boss, who had referred me to the hiring manager, what had happened. I was not comfortable to do so at first, but finally I decided to take my best friends' persistent suggestions. I wrote what I wanted to tell my former boss, then I called him, and basically read what I had written, lol. I tried to just tell him the facts, and take my disappointment and hurt feelings out of the conversation. My former boss was very surprised and told me that he was going to get in touch with the hiring manager and find out what had happened. I told him feel free to do what he liked, but asked him to please not purse it on my account! I told him that it was a done deal for me at that point and I had no intention of taking it any further!

In the past few weeks I have been checking the school's job posting site, and several other places, applying to summer and full time postings, but nothing. I also met with all the four professors that I had taken classes with this year, plus my academic advisor, and my soon to be thesis advisor, hopefully, and asked them if they know of any research assistantship opportunity for the summer to let me know. They all told me what I already knew, that it was a bit late, and all the positions were filled back in March. So yes, the month that I should have been busy applying and finding summer opportunities, I was dumb enough to be waiting to hear from that one place I had interviewed with!

I should have known that up until I don't get the written offer the job is not a done deal. Actually technically the company can withdrew their offer at any point, so I guess up until the first day on the job, when I sign the papers, the job is not a done deal! lol. But I truly believe that a job is not a done deal until the three month evaluation is behind me. Most companies do not specify the evaluation period, but on my previous jobs, up until I did not hear from my boss, that I was doing a great job, I felt that I was still under close observation and at any moment my boss could tell me "you are fired!" lol.

So at this point you might wonder with knowing all this, why did I read too much into the way I was talked to, toward the end of my interview day, to think that I had the job! I am wondering the same thing myself!