For one of my classes, we were given our third homework assignment yesterday! I think this assignment is more challenging and compared to the last two assignments this one is longer, but with shorter due date.
As we were walking out of the class, the girl who sits next to me asked, if I had a study partner! As I was saying no, I felt that I didn't like where this was going! She then asked, if I wanted to get together with her to work on the homework? I so wanted to say no, but I felt that it would be rude, and so I said sure! I really wanted to tell her that I have been taking my time doing my other assignments, and that I am slow and I might waste her time! But then I thought I should convince myself to give a study partner thing a try at least once, maybe she too takes her time, and we could learn from each other. I thought it could be just like a group project at work. I thought working on the same project with my coworkers were fun at times. Anyhow, I was not completely sold on the idea of partnership, but we decided on the time and the place and said goodbye.
We were to meet at 10 am this morning in a coffee place nearby. I went to the library at 8 am, as my per usual. Studied my notes and started to work on the first problem. Before I knew it, it was 5 minutes to 10. So I hurried out and run to get here on time, all the while thinking I am going to damage my computer if I don't slow down! I arrived right at 10 sharp, got an expensive, not particularly wanted cup of coffee, found a table in the corner, sit, and continued my work on the first problem. 20 minutes later my homework partner showed up! No apologies for being late!
I started telling her that I had been working on problem 1 and I think I got it. As I tried to explain to her, she cut me off to complain that the lectures/materials are getting more and more abstract and that she has a hard time following them. I did not agree with her, so I just listened, thinking that true that we were talking more on the abstract side, but the professor throws in an applicability examples here and there, and is making it real enough I guess. And yes, the materials are not easy to follow, but then this is graduate school, plus learning new stuff is never easy, it requires spending time reading, studying, and doing lots of thinking, until you get it. As it was said in one of my favorite episodes of Mad Men few weeks ago: Don: You keep banging your head against the wall… then it happens. Peggy: and, then it's done. Don: Yes, Ma'am. Need I say more! lol.
Anyhow, I cut her complains, explained what the first problem is asking, as far as I understood, and then I explained how I have proceeded to answer the question. As I was explaining, she was making faces at me, while not making eye contact, kind of weird I thought! I lost my train of thoughts a couple of times and had to pause to remember what I was saying! She probably thought that I had senior moments!
Anyhow, she said that she thought "we" were on the right track! I am not kidding she said we! Anyhow she copied what I had written, and so we proceeded to problem 2, which by the way was related to problem 1, and since I had read my notes a bit, I had some idea what the question was asking. Again, my study partner started complaining that this stuff is too abstract, and why do we need it to be this abstract. I guess I have lucked out this time, since I am familiar with the application example that the professor mentioned yesterday in class, so maybe that is why it is easier for me to follow the materials. And so I started explaining to her the application, in details. She continued to make faces again and no eye contact as I was explaining; it was very distracting!
Anyhow, we discussed the problem some more, while she continued to complain here and there, and I think "we" finally got it. We wrote it down, well more like I wrote and she copied from me, and then she said that she had a lunch date. It was little after 11:30. She left promptly.
So we worked for about one hour, I am not sure if she understood anything or not, but she copied two of the problems!
I never thought that I was going to say this, but I think it is "being young" behavior! I was told to wait couple of years after my bachelor's degree before considering graduate school, to become mature for the graduate school, to understand what I want, and what I need to learn. OK, so I got my years and decades mixed up, and waited couple of decades to come back to school! But I think it is a great advice. I think I am mature for school now! I appreciate the learning process. I don't think my study partner appreciates where she is. She told me that she graduated in May. She said her main goal is to get a master's degree so she can find a job! I don't think she realizes that working requires knowledge, and that she has to acquire this knowledge here and now. I don't think she knows how grueling the hiring managers could be during the interview, they don't go easy on the candidates, and they want to make sure that they are getting people who know their stuff. I don't think she knows that degree doesn't guarantee getting a job! But I wasn't going to get into the dissuasions of this sort! Am I being too judgmental?
OK, enough of judging the poor young kid who likes to have fun! I so should trust my instinct and speak my mind next time! I didn't want to do my homework with a partner and I should have said so. I wasted couple of hours. I wasted money on a not so great coffee. I have to get out of here and go back to the library to continue my usual routine, but I just wanted to get this off my chest, right now!
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Not that it matters!
But apparently I am not older than my professors! And the funny thing is that I have been going to class for over 2 weeks, I have been coming here and posting often, but up to just an hour ago, it never occurred to me to think if I actually am the oldest person in the class!
One of my professors announced last week that he is giving a talk about his research this week. He said that even though his talk has nothing to do with the course he is teaching us, but we are welcome to go to his talk. I decided to go; one never knows what an import thing she is going to learn in these talks!
So since I had internet connection and noting pressing to do, I decided to check out the professor's page to see if there is an abstract of his talk, or summary of his research, available on his site, so that I could familiarized myself with it before going to his talk. Once there I saw his bio, including the institution and the year of his graduation, and suddenly I realized he is about 12 years older than me. Well, assuming everyone is around 22, plus and minus 1 or 2 years, when they graduate from college. So if he was about 22, then he is about 12 years older than me!
Then I decided to checkout my other professors' pages and realized that they too are 8, and 11 years older than me! As it turns out actually my department is on the older side! It is a big department, but not many, or should I say any, junior faculties. I find that strange!
I am defining junior faculties to be in their early 30s. Assuming they got their PhDs when they were in their late 20s, and couple of years of post docs, I suppose then they could be an assistant professor as early as their early 30s. However the youngest faculty in our department is 36, again assuming he got his bachelor's when he was around 22! And actually he is the only one younger than me. The rest are older from 2 years to over 25 years!
Not that it matters, but I guess I am not yet the oldest one in the class! lol. Actually I think in one of my classes there is another student who might be older than me! I overheard her telling another student that she has been out of school for 20 years. Now if that is exact than she could be older than me. I too tell everyone one I have been out of school for almost 20 years, but to be exact, it is 17 years!
Anyhow, I guess when I wrote my first entry here my insecurity had gotten the best of me!
One of my professors announced last week that he is giving a talk about his research this week. He said that even though his talk has nothing to do with the course he is teaching us, but we are welcome to go to his talk. I decided to go; one never knows what an import thing she is going to learn in these talks!
So since I had internet connection and noting pressing to do, I decided to check out the professor's page to see if there is an abstract of his talk, or summary of his research, available on his site, so that I could familiarized myself with it before going to his talk. Once there I saw his bio, including the institution and the year of his graduation, and suddenly I realized he is about 12 years older than me. Well, assuming everyone is around 22, plus and minus 1 or 2 years, when they graduate from college. So if he was about 22, then he is about 12 years older than me!
Then I decided to checkout my other professors' pages and realized that they too are 8, and 11 years older than me! As it turns out actually my department is on the older side! It is a big department, but not many, or should I say any, junior faculties. I find that strange!
I am defining junior faculties to be in their early 30s. Assuming they got their PhDs when they were in their late 20s, and couple of years of post docs, I suppose then they could be an assistant professor as early as their early 30s. However the youngest faculty in our department is 36, again assuming he got his bachelor's when he was around 22! And actually he is the only one younger than me. The rest are older from 2 years to over 25 years!
Not that it matters, but I guess I am not yet the oldest one in the class! lol. Actually I think in one of my classes there is another student who might be older than me! I overheard her telling another student that she has been out of school for 20 years. Now if that is exact than she could be older than me. I too tell everyone one I have been out of school for almost 20 years, but to be exact, it is 17 years!
Anyhow, I guess when I wrote my first entry here my insecurity had gotten the best of me!
Friday, September 24, 2010
It only took two weeks ...
and I am all cutup on materials I needed to remember to be able to understand/follow comfortably the lectures from my current classes. And I have proof to backup my claim too! lol.
For one of my classes, our first homework assignment was on prerequisite materials. It was due last Wednesday, we got it back Monday, and I got a perfect score. There was not even one little mistake in the 10 problems I solved. Just perfect assignment I handed in.
For my other class we had a quick quiz on Tuesday. Again it was going to be on the prerequisite materials. The professor said that it was good for him to know if he needed to emphasize an area more, if he saw no one has answered a particular question correctly, and also good for us to know which area we need to work on more. Well I got back the quiz yesterday and again a perfect score.
I am happy, relaxed, proud, and confident.
I am just kicking myself for not believing in myself more, for not trusting my capabilities that I can handle 3 classes, and dropped one of my classes as soon as my academic advisor told me to. Dropping that one class made a chaos in my emotions for a while!
You see, I am a planner. I don't make emotional or a spur of the moment decision. I think, plan, evaluate, and then execute. The thinking stage could be as long as a year before I get the nerve to plan it. But then when I plan, I evaluate all the things that could go wrong and I find solutions or backup plans for anything that might not go as planned. So when I get to the executing stage, maybe a couple of years later, I want everything to go as smoothly as planned. If it doesn't then I could fall apart, practically!
Anyhow, now that I am more relaxed, I have gone into the recovery stage; how can I fix the consequences of dropping this one class? One option is to continue my plan, take classes as scheduled, apply for jobs at the time I had planned, hopefully finding and accepting a fulltime job in the time frame that I have hoped for, and then take the class I dropped, either while I am in the searching stage or working stage.
Another option is to take 4 classes next semester, which I don't think would be practical! But a revision to this option could be to talk to my current professors and see if I can define a research/independent study type class to take under their supervision next semester. I could sort of define it, do some research work on it now, and during the Christmas break, so that my load would not be as heavy as 4 classes but still would be able to take 4 courses! I am going to think about this some more and then go talk to my professors in a week or two.
But for now, I am excited and happy and just asked my parents if they would come over to my place on Sunday for a cookout and they said yes. Hopefully my sisters and my best friends could come over too in such a short notice. But I wanted to celebrate my happiness this weekend. I might have tons to do next weekend that is why I don't want to plan it for then or later.
Anyhow, have a great weekend.
For one of my classes, our first homework assignment was on prerequisite materials. It was due last Wednesday, we got it back Monday, and I got a perfect score. There was not even one little mistake in the 10 problems I solved. Just perfect assignment I handed in.
For my other class we had a quick quiz on Tuesday. Again it was going to be on the prerequisite materials. The professor said that it was good for him to know if he needed to emphasize an area more, if he saw no one has answered a particular question correctly, and also good for us to know which area we need to work on more. Well I got back the quiz yesterday and again a perfect score.
I am happy, relaxed, proud, and confident.
I am just kicking myself for not believing in myself more, for not trusting my capabilities that I can handle 3 classes, and dropped one of my classes as soon as my academic advisor told me to. Dropping that one class made a chaos in my emotions for a while!
You see, I am a planner. I don't make emotional or a spur of the moment decision. I think, plan, evaluate, and then execute. The thinking stage could be as long as a year before I get the nerve to plan it. But then when I plan, I evaluate all the things that could go wrong and I find solutions or backup plans for anything that might not go as planned. So when I get to the executing stage, maybe a couple of years later, I want everything to go as smoothly as planned. If it doesn't then I could fall apart, practically!
Anyhow, now that I am more relaxed, I have gone into the recovery stage; how can I fix the consequences of dropping this one class? One option is to continue my plan, take classes as scheduled, apply for jobs at the time I had planned, hopefully finding and accepting a fulltime job in the time frame that I have hoped for, and then take the class I dropped, either while I am in the searching stage or working stage.
Another option is to take 4 classes next semester, which I don't think would be practical! But a revision to this option could be to talk to my current professors and see if I can define a research/independent study type class to take under their supervision next semester. I could sort of define it, do some research work on it now, and during the Christmas break, so that my load would not be as heavy as 4 classes but still would be able to take 4 courses! I am going to think about this some more and then go talk to my professors in a week or two.
But for now, I am excited and happy and just asked my parents if they would come over to my place on Sunday for a cookout and they said yes. Hopefully my sisters and my best friends could come over too in such a short notice. But I wanted to celebrate my happiness this weekend. I might have tons to do next weekend that is why I don't want to plan it for then or later.
Anyhow, have a great weekend.
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Researching term paper!
For one of my classes we have to write two review papers. I am not good at writing technical papers so I decided to jump on this quickly since it is going to be 50% of my grade.
I knew more or less the area I wanted to concentrate on, but because we had to select a paper and explain in details the methods used, the results and conclusions, and basically our understanding of the whole research, I decided to find the paper before telling the professor what area I shall be concentrating on.
I looked at my text to see if I can find any references but no luck! So I went to the library to search the databases of articles. I put in my search terms and there popped out 1000s references. I ordered them by the date and started reading the titles from the most recent ones. If I liked a title, then I read an abstract. And if the abstract sounded what I wanted to study I proceeded to download the article to read.
Unfortunately, I was never able to go pass the introduction. I could not follow the articles once it got technical! I could not understand, for example, where they got certain formula and how they manipulate it to get to the next one. Basically I could not understand a thing!
Discouraged, after wasting almost two full days, I proceeded to search the web, hoping to find some else's work, in a similar class, in the area that I like to study. After couple of hours of not getting anywhere I saw a reference to a book chapter and went to Google books preview and started reading. Before I knew it, I had read about 15 pages and Google told me that I had reached my preview quota! Panicked I check the sidebar, find in a library, to see if the book was available in any of the local libraries, and to my delight I found that my library, the one that I was currently in, had it, and even more delightful, it was available! So I run upstairs, quickly located the book, and started reading. Read a few chapters and I knew I was on the right track.
This past weekend, I mostly studied the three chapters that are related to what I want to do, from this precious book that I luckily located!
I am amazed why I was stupid enough to think that I could understand the articles that have been written by and for the people who have been studying the field for a while. I should have searched other similar textbooks of the class and try to find something written for novices to the field. Anyhow, I am grateful that I found my reference after two days of searching!
So since the weekend I have located a handful of articles that I might be able to understand and write about. Yesterday I sent an email to my professor to tell him of my area of interest and I also send him the list of my references. He wrote back today and told me that if I had given him just the area of my interest he would have discouraged me of pursuing it, reasoning that it might be advanced for me! But since I had spent time locating some good references he is looking forward to seeing my progress.
I feel good!
I knew more or less the area I wanted to concentrate on, but because we had to select a paper and explain in details the methods used, the results and conclusions, and basically our understanding of the whole research, I decided to find the paper before telling the professor what area I shall be concentrating on.
I looked at my text to see if I can find any references but no luck! So I went to the library to search the databases of articles. I put in my search terms and there popped out 1000s references. I ordered them by the date and started reading the titles from the most recent ones. If I liked a title, then I read an abstract. And if the abstract sounded what I wanted to study I proceeded to download the article to read.
Unfortunately, I was never able to go pass the introduction. I could not follow the articles once it got technical! I could not understand, for example, where they got certain formula and how they manipulate it to get to the next one. Basically I could not understand a thing!
Discouraged, after wasting almost two full days, I proceeded to search the web, hoping to find some else's work, in a similar class, in the area that I like to study. After couple of hours of not getting anywhere I saw a reference to a book chapter and went to Google books preview and started reading. Before I knew it, I had read about 15 pages and Google told me that I had reached my preview quota! Panicked I check the sidebar, find in a library, to see if the book was available in any of the local libraries, and to my delight I found that my library, the one that I was currently in, had it, and even more delightful, it was available! So I run upstairs, quickly located the book, and started reading. Read a few chapters and I knew I was on the right track.
This past weekend, I mostly studied the three chapters that are related to what I want to do, from this precious book that I luckily located!
I am amazed why I was stupid enough to think that I could understand the articles that have been written by and for the people who have been studying the field for a while. I should have searched other similar textbooks of the class and try to find something written for novices to the field. Anyhow, I am grateful that I found my reference after two days of searching!
So since the weekend I have located a handful of articles that I might be able to understand and write about. Yesterday I sent an email to my professor to tell him of my area of interest and I also send him the list of my references. He wrote back today and told me that if I had given him just the area of my interest he would have discouraged me of pursuing it, reasoning that it might be advanced for me! But since I had spent time locating some good references he is looking forward to seeing my progress.
I feel good!
On second thought ...
A few weeks ago I was at my oldest sister, it was a cool rainy day, and we were all inside. Suddenly a disagreement broke down between my sisters youngest three that who is going to get on one of the computers next. There are two computers for the kids, and three kids! So I told my sister that I had an old desktop, circa 2002, that I don't use anymore, and she can have it for the kids, if she wanted it. She said yes.
A few nights later, when I didn't have anything to do, I decided to clean the computer, take anything I might need, and get it ready for my niece and nephews. It turned out that I didn't need anything, but I had the computer partitioned and so I decided to reformat the hard disk, and install a fresh OS on it. I installed XP, then downloaded all the updates and patches, and installed the latest version of the browsers on it. And finally I got the subscription to Norton Antivirus for them, since if the computer breaks, I know that it shall come back to me for fix, and I needed to make sure it doesn't break!
Anyhow, the computer was sitting in my study for a good month, and then my sister called this past Sunday to ask if she could stop by to collect the computer later that evening. At first I wanted to say no, I was embarrassed to let her see the state of my living room, but I thought I wasn't going to ask her in, so it should be OK!
She got me from the library, we drove to my place, and she came in! When she saw all the clothes all over, she asked what was going on. I told her that I had considered selling some stuff that I don't use any more since I was running out of space. She said that it was a great idea and maybe she should look to see if she has anything that she could sell too. My sister has lost a lot of weight in the past year.
Anyhow, my sister complemented me on my fashion sense and said that she could see why I wouldn't want to sell my stuff. She told me that a few years back, when I got that beautiful dress for my Christmas party, she was so envious of me! For one that I had picked that dress, two that I could afford it, which in truth I didn't, I used to put a lot of things on my credit cards back then, and maxed all of them out, then a few years later came to my senses, planned and was finally able to pay off all my dept, anyhow, and three that I was able to fit into a size 6, at that point she was very pregnant with her youngest.
I looked at her and told her that I think she could fit in that dress now and asked if she wanted to give it a try. Enthusiastically, she said yes. So I looked around and spotted that dress. She tried it on and looked amazing in it. So I told her it was hers. She wrote me a check for the dress and the computer, and when I refused, she said let me do this thing for you! She said that she wanted to get a dress as a reward to herself for losing weight and she had been looking online but really couldn't find anything she liked or in her budget. She said she is giving me what she wanted to spend on a dress, but she knows I could sell this dress for more on the eBay. I told her that I rather *she* gets it for free than to sell it on eBay and earn some money!
Then she gave me a pep talk that at the beginning of her marriage money was tight but they survived and became wise and strong. My sister and brother in-law got married right after college. My sister was in her last term in a graduate school when she got pregnant, and after she had my oldest niece, she went to work fulltime right away. At that point my brother in-law was still in school. Being only 25, with a full time job, a baby, and a husband that was busy with school, I have no idea how she managed, but she did. So I told her that I have always been envious of her strength, and that I thought she has it together all the time.
She laughed and said, good we sisters have to be envious of each other, all the time, otherwise it wouldn't be fun being sisters! Anyhow, she said that she never says no to the kindness of our family. My youngest sister and I were still in high school when we became aunt for the first time, and we always offered to babysit my niece for free, so that my sister could rest. When she came over, our mom always send her away with containers of food, saying that it was leftover, but it was very much made for her. My sister said that when we do things for our family we feel good and said that I have never let her do anything for me! That could be true! She asked me to accept the check so she could feel good! So I did accept her kindness.
On the car ride to our parents she offered that if I decided to sell my stuff again, she could organize it. She could price them, even throw a backyard party one Sunday in October, invite all our family and friends and let them checkout the goods! I thought about it for a bit, and decided to take her on the offer. I remained myself that one can't accomplish her goals with stubbornness, and that some sacrifices have to be made!
So I am back on track of selling *some* of my clothes with the help and kindness of my oldest sister!
A few nights later, when I didn't have anything to do, I decided to clean the computer, take anything I might need, and get it ready for my niece and nephews. It turned out that I didn't need anything, but I had the computer partitioned and so I decided to reformat the hard disk, and install a fresh OS on it. I installed XP, then downloaded all the updates and patches, and installed the latest version of the browsers on it. And finally I got the subscription to Norton Antivirus for them, since if the computer breaks, I know that it shall come back to me for fix, and I needed to make sure it doesn't break!
Anyhow, the computer was sitting in my study for a good month, and then my sister called this past Sunday to ask if she could stop by to collect the computer later that evening. At first I wanted to say no, I was embarrassed to let her see the state of my living room, but I thought I wasn't going to ask her in, so it should be OK!
She got me from the library, we drove to my place, and she came in! When she saw all the clothes all over, she asked what was going on. I told her that I had considered selling some stuff that I don't use any more since I was running out of space. She said that it was a great idea and maybe she should look to see if she has anything that she could sell too. My sister has lost a lot of weight in the past year.
Anyhow, my sister complemented me on my fashion sense and said that she could see why I wouldn't want to sell my stuff. She told me that a few years back, when I got that beautiful dress for my Christmas party, she was so envious of me! For one that I had picked that dress, two that I could afford it, which in truth I didn't, I used to put a lot of things on my credit cards back then, and maxed all of them out, then a few years later came to my senses, planned and was finally able to pay off all my dept, anyhow, and three that I was able to fit into a size 6, at that point she was very pregnant with her youngest.
I looked at her and told her that I think she could fit in that dress now and asked if she wanted to give it a try. Enthusiastically, she said yes. So I looked around and spotted that dress. She tried it on and looked amazing in it. So I told her it was hers. She wrote me a check for the dress and the computer, and when I refused, she said let me do this thing for you! She said that she wanted to get a dress as a reward to herself for losing weight and she had been looking online but really couldn't find anything she liked or in her budget. She said she is giving me what she wanted to spend on a dress, but she knows I could sell this dress for more on the eBay. I told her that I rather *she* gets it for free than to sell it on eBay and earn some money!
Then she gave me a pep talk that at the beginning of her marriage money was tight but they survived and became wise and strong. My sister and brother in-law got married right after college. My sister was in her last term in a graduate school when she got pregnant, and after she had my oldest niece, she went to work fulltime right away. At that point my brother in-law was still in school. Being only 25, with a full time job, a baby, and a husband that was busy with school, I have no idea how she managed, but she did. So I told her that I have always been envious of her strength, and that I thought she has it together all the time.
She laughed and said, good we sisters have to be envious of each other, all the time, otherwise it wouldn't be fun being sisters! Anyhow, she said that she never says no to the kindness of our family. My youngest sister and I were still in high school when we became aunt for the first time, and we always offered to babysit my niece for free, so that my sister could rest. When she came over, our mom always send her away with containers of food, saying that it was leftover, but it was very much made for her. My sister said that when we do things for our family we feel good and said that I have never let her do anything for me! That could be true! She asked me to accept the check so she could feel good! So I did accept her kindness.
On the car ride to our parents she offered that if I decided to sell my stuff again, she could organize it. She could price them, even throw a backyard party one Sunday in October, invite all our family and friends and let them checkout the goods! I thought about it for a bit, and decided to take her on the offer. I remained myself that one can't accomplish her goals with stubbornness, and that some sacrifices have to be made!
So I am back on track of selling *some* of my clothes with the help and kindness of my oldest sister!
Sunday, September 19, 2010
NO!
NO, I don't want to sell my cloths, and NO, I don't want to move to my parents' house!
I have changed my life so much in the past month that I don't want any more changes. I suppose one can handle so many changes at one time before going totally nuts that what happened to my life! I am at that point right now!
Friday night I got all my clothes from numerous boxes, couple of suitcases, and all of the closets and brought them all into the living room! Yes, I have too many cloths, but no I don't want to part from them. They are still very stylish and I paid a fortune for them.
If I say so myself, I am a very neat person! All the pieces in the storage, probably for couple of years or even more had been put away so neatly that they don't look old. When I want to put my cloths away, for a season for example, I send the ones that need to be dry-cleaned out, and the rest I wash and iron before wrapping each in a plastic wrap to put away.
The two reasons my cloths stay in the storage are: 1- I feel that I have worn them too many times last season, or 2- I feel that they felt snug to begin with last season and now that I have gained couple of more pounds they wouldn't be comfortable.
Yes, even though I watch what I eat, and go to the gym regularly (or should I say went to the gym regularly, another thing I gave up last month, my gym membership) I still managed to gain couple of pounds here, couple of pounds there, and before I knew it, some of my clothes wouldn't fit, and I had to get new pieces, while warning myself that I should diet to be able to wear the old pieces again and soon, which of course never happened!
Anyhow, I believe that I have a good taste! Well, I know that I have a good taste! If I could fit into some of these pieces, some that I got probably five years ago or even more, I would definitely wear them; they are still very stylish and I don't want to sell them! I am going to fit into them and soon!
So anyway, I went through each pile, put the ones that still fit and I could wear to school, regardless of the season in one pile, and the rest in another. Then I hanged all the ones that I am comfortable to wear to school in my closet and left the rest in the living room. I could do that because it is *my* house and if I don't touch them for a month they are going to stay like this. That is the way I like it; that is the way I know my life to be!
My parents' house is *their* home, and even though I love my parents to death, I don't want to live at their house unless I absolutely have to!
Thus this morning I thought enough of a change, enough of being worried about money every second of the day. I treated myself to my usual Starbucks drink and now I am waiting for the library to open so I can head there and torture myself some more!
Finally I am getting somewhere with selecting a topic/paper for one of my term papers/projects. I shall write about that tonight. And oh yes, tonight of course is Mad Men night! Can you tell I am very obsessed with this show? I shall write about that too, at some later point.
Have a great day!
I have changed my life so much in the past month that I don't want any more changes. I suppose one can handle so many changes at one time before going totally nuts that what happened to my life! I am at that point right now!
Friday night I got all my clothes from numerous boxes, couple of suitcases, and all of the closets and brought them all into the living room! Yes, I have too many cloths, but no I don't want to part from them. They are still very stylish and I paid a fortune for them.
If I say so myself, I am a very neat person! All the pieces in the storage, probably for couple of years or even more had been put away so neatly that they don't look old. When I want to put my cloths away, for a season for example, I send the ones that need to be dry-cleaned out, and the rest I wash and iron before wrapping each in a plastic wrap to put away.
The two reasons my cloths stay in the storage are: 1- I feel that I have worn them too many times last season, or 2- I feel that they felt snug to begin with last season and now that I have gained couple of more pounds they wouldn't be comfortable.
Yes, even though I watch what I eat, and go to the gym regularly (or should I say went to the gym regularly, another thing I gave up last month, my gym membership) I still managed to gain couple of pounds here, couple of pounds there, and before I knew it, some of my clothes wouldn't fit, and I had to get new pieces, while warning myself that I should diet to be able to wear the old pieces again and soon, which of course never happened!
Anyhow, I believe that I have a good taste! Well, I know that I have a good taste! If I could fit into some of these pieces, some that I got probably five years ago or even more, I would definitely wear them; they are still very stylish and I don't want to sell them! I am going to fit into them and soon!
So anyway, I went through each pile, put the ones that still fit and I could wear to school, regardless of the season in one pile, and the rest in another. Then I hanged all the ones that I am comfortable to wear to school in my closet and left the rest in the living room. I could do that because it is *my* house and if I don't touch them for a month they are going to stay like this. That is the way I like it; that is the way I know my life to be!
My parents' house is *their* home, and even though I love my parents to death, I don't want to live at their house unless I absolutely have to!
Thus this morning I thought enough of a change, enough of being worried about money every second of the day. I treated myself to my usual Starbucks drink and now I am waiting for the library to open so I can head there and torture myself some more!
Finally I am getting somewhere with selecting a topic/paper for one of my term papers/projects. I shall write about that tonight. And oh yes, tonight of course is Mad Men night! Can you tell I am very obsessed with this show? I shall write about that too, at some later point.
Have a great day!
Friday, September 17, 2010
Considering a new living arrangement!
For one of my classes we have to write two review research papers. This week the professor said that we should start thinking about what we want to work on. I thought this was very exciting and promptly started my research, which requires internet of course!
As part of me saving money, along with my landline phone and cable/TV, I gave up my internet connection. Maybe it was too extreme, but saving a bit more than $200 a month was very appealing to me at that point. So I don't have an internet to do my research at home and thus I have to do all my research at school. Two nights this week I was in the library until 10:30 reading papers.
Also as part of my saving money, I gave up my car. The lease was conveniently up in the middle of August and I did not get another car! Obviously, I couldn't afford the lease, or insurance, or taxes. But also when I found out how much I have to pay for the parking at school, suddenly public transportation became very appealing! I live 15 minutes walk away from the bus stop, and the bus ride, depending on the time of the day, is somewhere between 40 minutes to an hour and the bus runs regularly throughout the day. So I thought student life is probably more on a par with taking a bus than having a car!
Going home late at night is tough only because my street is very steep; it truly is a hike to get home. Half of my 15 minute walk is in my street! I have been trying to get home early, because by 10 pm I am so beat that I just want to go to bed!
Because of my research I wanted to stay late at school and so I called my mom and asked if I could stay with them for the night. For one, my parents live very close to the bus stop, just two minutes walk on the level street, and for another they live half way between school and my place, which reduces a good half an hour from my commute. My mom said yes, and then my dad called to tell me do I even have to ask! My parents are the sweetest people I know.
Basically I have stayed at my parents three nights since Sunday night, including last night. This morning at breakfast my mom sweetly said, this school arrangement is very nice; we get to see you more often. Jokingly I told her, please don't be this nice to me, I might move in! To which she responded that it was a smart thing to do! She said that she and my dad had talked about it when I first told them I was giving up my job, but they had decided to let me consider it on my own!
Thus all day today I have been entertaining the idea of renting my place.
The pros are that I don't have to worry about the mortgage; I am guessing the rent is going to take care of that. Plus I don't have to worry about the utilities. So basically I am not going to deplete all my savings! I have reasoned that I haven't been home much since the school started a week and half ago; I have gone home just to sleep. I have been leaving around 7 am and the earliest that I returned has been after 8 pm, and that includes the weekend. So I am thinking maybe while I am at school, I don't need my home! Maybe I could move all my stuff to the basement and rent the upstairs.
On the other hand, I don't want to give up my privacy! I am thinking maybe I don't need to be at school this much in a few weeks. But then being home, I don't have my usual entertainment of the internet and cable TV. Plus I don't want to watch DVD or listen to music, because that means TV/DVD player/radio/CD player, which means higher electricity bill! Not to mention that when I am home, now that is getting cold, I have to turn on the heat higher, which means higher gas bill! So being home more is not that appealing! Also I don't have any extra money to entertain, having friends and family over, cooking or even baking. I don't have a boyfriend at the moment so I truly don't need that much privacy, do I!
But again on the other hand, I don't want to move in with my parents and inconvenient them. They have their own schedule and they might start going out of their ways to accommodate me. At the top of my head I cannot come up with one situation that this could happen, but I just don't want to take advantage of their kindness.
There is one more possibility, that I move to the basement and still rent my place. My basement is finished and I have two small rooms and a full bath there. I don't like the smell of my basement, but short-term, I think I can handle it! The structure of the house is that the garage and the backdoor are on the ground level; then there are stairs to go upstairs and stairs to go downstairs. At the top of upstairs' stairs there is a door. I am thinking maybe I could put a door at the top of downstairs' stairs and then the two levels are going to be completely separated. I wonder how much that is going to cost! Anyhow, the garage and obviously the front door could be for the tenant, and I could come and go from the backdoor. It might work; the only complication might be the shared utility bill. How I am going to figure that one out fairly!
In any case if I want to rent my place and move my stuff downstairs I have to start getting rid of some of the stuff I don't need. During the weeks that I was brainstorming how I could reduce my living expenses, one of my coworkers suggested selling stuff I don't need on the eBay and earn some money that way! I have never used eBay and so I checked the site briefly today to see if people are selling the kind of stuff that I might want to sell, mostly cloths, and was pleasantly surprised that yes, they do. So this weekend I am going to start thinking what I can sell on the eBay, take pictures, and then Sunday night when I am at my parents again, yes I did invite myself again to watch Mad Men there, only 5 more episodes left, I will figure out eBay and post my stuff for sell! I don't think I am going to make much money this way, but at least I am getting rid of some clutter.
Once I got rid of some clutter, I am going to move the stuff I don't use these days to the basement, systematically, so that if I need them I don't have to look for them; how I hate looking for things!
Hopefully, I have some time to think this over and make my final decision. If I decide to rent my place, it is going to be from this January to the next. I think I can bear to be without my home for only a year. I know one thing for sure; if I rent my place the burden of not having an income is going to be so much less!
If anyone is reading this, have a great weekend.
As part of me saving money, along with my landline phone and cable/TV, I gave up my internet connection. Maybe it was too extreme, but saving a bit more than $200 a month was very appealing to me at that point. So I don't have an internet to do my research at home and thus I have to do all my research at school. Two nights this week I was in the library until 10:30 reading papers.
Also as part of my saving money, I gave up my car. The lease was conveniently up in the middle of August and I did not get another car! Obviously, I couldn't afford the lease, or insurance, or taxes. But also when I found out how much I have to pay for the parking at school, suddenly public transportation became very appealing! I live 15 minutes walk away from the bus stop, and the bus ride, depending on the time of the day, is somewhere between 40 minutes to an hour and the bus runs regularly throughout the day. So I thought student life is probably more on a par with taking a bus than having a car!
Going home late at night is tough only because my street is very steep; it truly is a hike to get home. Half of my 15 minute walk is in my street! I have been trying to get home early, because by 10 pm I am so beat that I just want to go to bed!
Because of my research I wanted to stay late at school and so I called my mom and asked if I could stay with them for the night. For one, my parents live very close to the bus stop, just two minutes walk on the level street, and for another they live half way between school and my place, which reduces a good half an hour from my commute. My mom said yes, and then my dad called to tell me do I even have to ask! My parents are the sweetest people I know.
Basically I have stayed at my parents three nights since Sunday night, including last night. This morning at breakfast my mom sweetly said, this school arrangement is very nice; we get to see you more often. Jokingly I told her, please don't be this nice to me, I might move in! To which she responded that it was a smart thing to do! She said that she and my dad had talked about it when I first told them I was giving up my job, but they had decided to let me consider it on my own!
Thus all day today I have been entertaining the idea of renting my place.
The pros are that I don't have to worry about the mortgage; I am guessing the rent is going to take care of that. Plus I don't have to worry about the utilities. So basically I am not going to deplete all my savings! I have reasoned that I haven't been home much since the school started a week and half ago; I have gone home just to sleep. I have been leaving around 7 am and the earliest that I returned has been after 8 pm, and that includes the weekend. So I am thinking maybe while I am at school, I don't need my home! Maybe I could move all my stuff to the basement and rent the upstairs.
On the other hand, I don't want to give up my privacy! I am thinking maybe I don't need to be at school this much in a few weeks. But then being home, I don't have my usual entertainment of the internet and cable TV. Plus I don't want to watch DVD or listen to music, because that means TV/DVD player/radio/CD player, which means higher electricity bill! Not to mention that when I am home, now that is getting cold, I have to turn on the heat higher, which means higher gas bill! So being home more is not that appealing! Also I don't have any extra money to entertain, having friends and family over, cooking or even baking. I don't have a boyfriend at the moment so I truly don't need that much privacy, do I!
But again on the other hand, I don't want to move in with my parents and inconvenient them. They have their own schedule and they might start going out of their ways to accommodate me. At the top of my head I cannot come up with one situation that this could happen, but I just don't want to take advantage of their kindness.
There is one more possibility, that I move to the basement and still rent my place. My basement is finished and I have two small rooms and a full bath there. I don't like the smell of my basement, but short-term, I think I can handle it! The structure of the house is that the garage and the backdoor are on the ground level; then there are stairs to go upstairs and stairs to go downstairs. At the top of upstairs' stairs there is a door. I am thinking maybe I could put a door at the top of downstairs' stairs and then the two levels are going to be completely separated. I wonder how much that is going to cost! Anyhow, the garage and obviously the front door could be for the tenant, and I could come and go from the backdoor. It might work; the only complication might be the shared utility bill. How I am going to figure that one out fairly!
In any case if I want to rent my place and move my stuff downstairs I have to start getting rid of some of the stuff I don't need. During the weeks that I was brainstorming how I could reduce my living expenses, one of my coworkers suggested selling stuff I don't need on the eBay and earn some money that way! I have never used eBay and so I checked the site briefly today to see if people are selling the kind of stuff that I might want to sell, mostly cloths, and was pleasantly surprised that yes, they do. So this weekend I am going to start thinking what I can sell on the eBay, take pictures, and then Sunday night when I am at my parents again, yes I did invite myself again to watch Mad Men there, only 5 more episodes left, I will figure out eBay and post my stuff for sell! I don't think I am going to make much money this way, but at least I am getting rid of some clutter.
Once I got rid of some clutter, I am going to move the stuff I don't use these days to the basement, systematically, so that if I need them I don't have to look for them; how I hate looking for things!
Hopefully, I have some time to think this over and make my final decision. If I decide to rent my place, it is going to be from this January to the next. I think I can bear to be without my home for only a year. I know one thing for sure; if I rent my place the burden of not having an income is going to be so much less!
If anyone is reading this, have a great weekend.
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Change of plans!
I got assigned an academic advisor and I got an email from him last Tuesday asking me to go see him and so just before classes on Wednesday I went. I never thought that he actually had an advice for me, but he did! He advised me to drop one of my classes.
When I decided to go back to school, I decided to go full time and complete the program as soon as possible. I did my math and figured that I could be without a job and still pay my bills for the maximum of 16 months. So I quit my job.
At first I was too scared to quit. I asked my supervisor if I could work part-time and he said no! He said that he needs someone full-time and if he makes me part-time HR is not going to open another full-time position for him to hire someone else.
Thus I trimmed my expenses, and gave up what I thought was luxury. I took a loan for school tuition, and took the minimum of the full-time load. Still scared quit my job, and got ready to go to school as a full-time student. Now my advisor wants me to drop one of the 3 classes that I registered for, and basically become part-time!
His reasoning was that I have been out of school for a long time and even though I have all the prerequisite for my classes, most probably I do not remember all the materials and I need to reacquaint myself with all those theories. He mentioned that school is more intense! Really, I thought to myself. I bet he has never worked at a startup! Yes, he pissed me off and I didn't think that it could happen this early in the semester!
I tried to explain that most of my career I worked for startups and 12-productive-hour days were the norm for us. I tried to explain that I am a good learner! I don't go to school to get a degree, I learn. I tried to explain that I can remember all the things that I need to know for these classes in the matter of few weeks. But he was not hearing it. At the end he told me that the decision was mine! But he had to tell me!
I attended all 3 classes last week, and on Friday I dropped one of them against my better judgment. I talked to the professor and asked him if I could just sit in his class without being registered and he said it was OK.
Now I have to rework my financial situation. Taking only two classes this semester is going to make me stay student longer than anticipated, and I can't be without a job for longer than 16 months. I have to find a part-time job sometimes soon. I wish that my old supervisor had agreed to have me part-time. On my last day I did mentioned to him that if he wanted me as a contractor I would go back. I am thinking in a few weeks I should email him and see if he wants me back for a few hours a week! I gave him 4 weeks notice and the ad for my replacement went up last Tuesday, more than a month after I notified him officially that I was leaving!
Anyhow, I have spent most of the past three days in the library. Overall I think I spend more than 30 hours studying; real concentrated studying. I have remembered a lot and I think if I go at this pace I am going to do well.
I am at my parents tonight. First because I needed a good hot meal! And secondly, since I don't have cable anymore, I thought it was a luxury, I needed to be somewhere with a TV to be able to watch Mad Men, which just started!
Bye for now.
When I decided to go back to school, I decided to go full time and complete the program as soon as possible. I did my math and figured that I could be without a job and still pay my bills for the maximum of 16 months. So I quit my job.
At first I was too scared to quit. I asked my supervisor if I could work part-time and he said no! He said that he needs someone full-time and if he makes me part-time HR is not going to open another full-time position for him to hire someone else.
Thus I trimmed my expenses, and gave up what I thought was luxury. I took a loan for school tuition, and took the minimum of the full-time load. Still scared quit my job, and got ready to go to school as a full-time student. Now my advisor wants me to drop one of the 3 classes that I registered for, and basically become part-time!
His reasoning was that I have been out of school for a long time and even though I have all the prerequisite for my classes, most probably I do not remember all the materials and I need to reacquaint myself with all those theories. He mentioned that school is more intense! Really, I thought to myself. I bet he has never worked at a startup! Yes, he pissed me off and I didn't think that it could happen this early in the semester!
I tried to explain that most of my career I worked for startups and 12-productive-hour days were the norm for us. I tried to explain that I am a good learner! I don't go to school to get a degree, I learn. I tried to explain that I can remember all the things that I need to know for these classes in the matter of few weeks. But he was not hearing it. At the end he told me that the decision was mine! But he had to tell me!
I attended all 3 classes last week, and on Friday I dropped one of them against my better judgment. I talked to the professor and asked him if I could just sit in his class without being registered and he said it was OK.
Now I have to rework my financial situation. Taking only two classes this semester is going to make me stay student longer than anticipated, and I can't be without a job for longer than 16 months. I have to find a part-time job sometimes soon. I wish that my old supervisor had agreed to have me part-time. On my last day I did mentioned to him that if he wanted me as a contractor I would go back. I am thinking in a few weeks I should email him and see if he wants me back for a few hours a week! I gave him 4 weeks notice and the ad for my replacement went up last Tuesday, more than a month after I notified him officially that I was leaving!
Anyhow, I have spent most of the past three days in the library. Overall I think I spend more than 30 hours studying; real concentrated studying. I have remembered a lot and I think if I go at this pace I am going to do well.
I am at my parents tonight. First because I needed a good hot meal! And secondly, since I don't have cable anymore, I thought it was a luxury, I needed to be somewhere with a TV to be able to watch Mad Men, which just started!
Bye for now.
Saturday, September 4, 2010
About Me!
I am a new student. But I shall be the oldest in class, possibly older than the professor!
I have been working in industry for almost 20 years. I have been going up in the corporate ladder with a nice pace; I had a good salary and a nice title, but the job itself was the same old boring stuff that I had been doing for a long time.
In the past 5 years or so I tried to convince my superiors to trust me with projects that seemed more interesting to me but to no avail.
Thus this past June I decided enough is enough and I was going back to school, to study the area that I want my future projects to concentrate in, get a diploma and hopefully get a job with projects that shall be exciting and interesting to me at this point of my career.
I applied to school and to my surprise I got in! I quit my job last week, I am starting classes next week, and since I don’t know what to expect, I am a bit uneasy!
So I figured why not blog my way through graduate school as an older person's view point! Hopefully school has not changed much in the past 20 years, LOL, and hopefully I shall survive!
Welcome to my blog.
I have been working in industry for almost 20 years. I have been going up in the corporate ladder with a nice pace; I had a good salary and a nice title, but the job itself was the same old boring stuff that I had been doing for a long time.
In the past 5 years or so I tried to convince my superiors to trust me with projects that seemed more interesting to me but to no avail.
Thus this past June I decided enough is enough and I was going back to school, to study the area that I want my future projects to concentrate in, get a diploma and hopefully get a job with projects that shall be exciting and interesting to me at this point of my career.
I applied to school and to my surprise I got in! I quit my job last week, I am starting classes next week, and since I don’t know what to expect, I am a bit uneasy!
So I figured why not blog my way through graduate school as an older person's view point! Hopefully school has not changed much in the past 20 years, LOL, and hopefully I shall survive!
Welcome to my blog.
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