Saturday, November 27, 2010

So much to say ...

I didn't mean to abandon this place. My goal was to post here, my triumph and tribulation at school, when it happened, not even few days later. But I haven't been to my parents for any extended period of time lately to be able to write a post. I still don't have internet at home, and at school I only do school work, lol, no playing around. Anyhow, in some aspects a lot has happened, in others not a whole lot.

I mentioned that through a Ph.D. student I found out that there is a professor who belongs to both the department of my undergraduate and my current department. I wanted so much to research with someone who would allow me take advantage of my industry experience along with my current discipline. So I was very excited at the possibilities of working with this professor.

I made an appointment with him in mid October and went to see him. It was a good meeting. The professor was full of great project ideas that I would LOVE to work on. However, his personality needed a bit of getting used to! First of all he was jumping from one topic to another, and I was lost at times. Plus he was dispensing public service announcement, lol, in the middle of project conversation. For example, he said several times that he does not have much time to allocate to me, I have to work independently, and that there is no money!

I had mentioned to him that I have almost 20 years of work experience, so I don't know if he was saying that I needed to work independently remembering the fact that I just did not come from an undergraduate degree to graduate school or not! But even some undergraduate students are very much independent and quick and there is no need for repetition! I supervised many summer interns and they only needed my attention the first two weeks, seriously, once I put them in the right path they run with their projects and very successfully completed it before going back to school. So the professor repeating several times, in the middle of a project discussion, that he just does not have time to spend with me, guiding me, was very annoying.

The fact that the professor thought I was there to be hired surprised me the most, lol. I actually had not considered that at all! I rather work for one of my former bosses/colleagues, earn much more per hour than any job at school, lol, doing the job that I had done for many years, the job that I could probably do in my sleep, lol, without much effort, instead of working for the professor at school. I seriously don't want to be employed at school, since I want to easily say which project I like to spend my time on, and which one I like to pass on! I don't think if I get paid I would have the luxury of being in charge of how I want to spend my time. Plus I have already emailed several of my former colleagues/bosses for a possibility of contract job between the two semesters and beyond, I am pretty certain that someone would come through for me and I shall find some kind of employment.

Anyhow, I left that meeting hoping that something positive was going to come out of it, but about a month later, still nothing! I have emailed the professor couple of times, and both times he had responded and quickly, telling me that he shall get back to me to setup another meeting and get going, but still noting.

I also mentioned that for one of my classes I had to write two papers. One was done at the end of October, I got it back, and I did excellent according to my professor, padding myself on the back, lol. The other is due in couple of weeks, I am half way through it, and I feel good about it. This was actually the course that I enjoyed very much and I feel I am learning a lot. So I talked to the professor to see if I can define an independent study with him for next semester and he said of course. He asked me to find a more advanced textbook to follow, but the two that I have found and suggested to him turn out to be at the level of text we are following now. So I am still looking! But I am going to talk to him next week and propose another approach. Instead of finding one advance text book, I thought maybe I could define 6 topics I like to study, pretty much like the two I picked this semester and wrote papers on, then for each topic find a specialized text/paper to be my guide.  Hopefully, he would accept this approach. I already know two of the six topics I like to concentrate on, so maybe I should find the book for each of these two before going to talk to him.

The course offering for the next semester is out, and I am certain about only one class I like to take. The second class hopefully shall be the independent study I just mentioned, and I am trying to decide if I want to go for the third class or not. As I have mentioned in several posts, I was so mad for kindof sortof being forced to/talked into dropping the third course I had taken this semester, and I was so glad that I continue attending the class and doing the work, since I learned quite a bit. Anyhow, I have to decide what I want to do next semester; should I take a third course, or should I go with two courses per semester? I have to do a bit more research on the class offerings. I guess if a course sounded like I would learn on topics that I like to learn, it is a no brainer, and I shall go for it, but if not, I guess I should be content with taking two classes for next semester as well.

At the beginning of this semester I wanted to finish school and go back to work as soon as I could, for one because of financial situation, for another because I felt so out of place at school. Well my financial situation is a bit better now. I shall write about it later. But there are still many days when I feel so out of place at school and ask myself was is worth it coming back to school. Most of the times I answer myself yes, it is so worth it, since I am learning a lot. I tell myself that I am going to be done with school before I know it, and my career shall benefit from this until I retire. But there have been some occasions when I feel that I don't want to connect much with my classmates and I feel lonely. I guess saying hi and occasional conversations are OK, but I don't want to become friends with them. I don't know why? It is not that I don't want to make new friends, because I really do, but I feel that I am on a different wavelength, lol, than some of my classmates. I don't think it is the age thing, since when I was working I never had any problem becoming friends with my coworker, who were younger or older than me, by as much as a decade, maybe even more. But at school, some of the students are in the same age group as my former colleagues and I don't want to befriend them and sometimes that bothers me. It is still a mystery to me why I have suddenly become antisocial at school and I don't have any explanation for it! So I still like to finish school and go back to work as soon as possible.

Anyhow, in my other class I had a midterm couple of weeks ago and I did not do as well as I wanted to. I have a final coming up in a few weeks, so I am hoping to study harder for it and do much better.

And back to financial situation, yes, I rented my place! The tenant signed the papers yesterday and they are moving in on Thursday. I am moving to my basement. That is another long post that I shall write later.

I am just so glad to be back here again.

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