Obviously, I am not a good blogger!
When I first decided to document my struggles and successes at school at the beginning of the academic year, I had hoped to post at least couple of times of week. But practically, I should have known that with not having internet at home, not giving myself permission to use school's network for nonschool work, and not connecting my laptop to distrusted network that I was left with posting on my blog when I am at my parents. First semester I kept up and posted as often as I had something to say, but this semester I have been an awful blogger!
I am sad that I have not posted much lately. Truly posting here has helped me tremendously. You know, even though I had thought hard and long about going back to school, and planned and planned, when it was time to actually execute it, I realized that I was not as ready as I thought I was. I didn't want to tell my family or friends about how scared and unsure I was, so posting here was what I needed. Of course my coworkers did not help either, statements such as "you are so brave, I envy you" was translated in my mind to "you are such an idiot quitting your cushiony job, in this economy"!
Anyhow, after maybe just couple of posts Katie found me, and she not only encouraged me, she also linked to me, and through her blog I started getting more readers. THANK YOU Katie. I was so happy that I had people to talk to. It did not matter if they did not talk back, just that they came for a visit, showed me they cared.
I felt very isolated during my first semester. And I blamed myself mostly for it. I couldn't connect to my classmate and I thought it was because of an age thing, even though I knew I was able to befriend younger colleagues. So venting here calmed me down.
When I wrote about the night that I panicked and went on a rampage in my house, lol, to collect anything I could sell, including all my old but well kept cloths, I didn't need to talk to anyone else about it. And when I did, I was very rational and reasoned since I didn't need these cloths and I had grown out of them, since they were nice pieces and I had not wore them much, and since I was not going to wear them again, it was a reasonable thing to consider selling them. And so without showing my emotions and make my family concern about my financial status, I sold everything I could.
So why I have not posted here lately? Two reasons basically: I got very busy at school, and I found friends and came out of isolations.
My lucky break happened during the break when I met some very wonderful people when I wanted to learn a software package we were going to use in one of my classes. I started to hang out with them. They emailed me when they were going to grab a pizza or beer, or go out to lunch. And I always did my computer assignments in their area, even though I could do them at the library or my department building, but seeing them, to maybe chat a bit, or have my lunch in one of their offices, was motivation enough for me to leave the warmth of the building I was in and cross the campus in the freezing weather and rain and snow to get to their building.
Also, on the first day of the classes I met a student that turned out she is doing her Ph.D. in my undergrad department, and we fast became good friends. She is only 23, so yes my reasoning for not being able to connect to other students because of my age went out of the window fast! We talk about our homework and stuff and again I don't feel as isolated as I had felt during the first semester.
And thus I was not lonely to come and vent here, lol. But the main reason for not posting has been that suddenly I started feeling the pressure of the graduate school. I did not feel that much pressure during my first semester.
In the first semester, after the initial couple of weeks, I stared feeling that I was able to keep up with my classes comfortably. All my classes were instructional, and even though I had two classes for credit, but I kept up with the work for the third noncredit class and did well.
This semester I have two instructional classes and one independent class. For the independent class I have to do lots of reading, attend talks, understand and write my understanding, and then talk about it with my professor. Also I got interested in attending talks at my sister's old school so I stared travelling to my younger sister's quit often, which is between 2-3 hours train ride each way depending on what time I am travelling. So yes, this independent class takes a lot of time to keep up.
My new younger friend also encouraged me to contact the professor I was hoping to do my thesis with. I had contacted him last October and after the initial meeting, even though he was returning my emails, he did not commit to supervise me. My friend told me that he had been dealing with some health issue and so I should contact him again. Which I did, and this time, he setup a weekly meeting for us, and so I practically found myself with a fourth class, another independent class.
He gave me lots of articles to read, and since I wanted to make sure that he would consider being my thesis advisor, I have put lot of time and effort into understanding these articles.
You know, at first I was not so sure that I wanted to work with him anymore, since I was concern about his health issue. I heard that he was not totally recovered yet. But I am so glad that by him checking up on me, I continued to study and attend our weekly meeting. I have learned so much from him, and I am ready to write my thesis proposal.
So yes, I have been very busy, and when I make it to my parents, I either hang out with them, or when I go to my room, I rather sleep than to post here!
Thus, if anyone is still reading here, thank you for coming back. So on to some news!
I am a bit disappointed in myself! Remember I wrote about the possibility of a summer job? It did not work out! And since I was so sure that it was going to, I did not apply anywhere else, and thus no summer job for me yet. I have applied to a few internships through the school career website, but I think it is too late now.
Anyhow, the company that I interviewed with wanted me part-time during the semester. With practically four courses, I really could not spare 20+ hours to work for them. Plus I was not that desperate financially since renting the main floor of my house. So I tried to convince them to consider me for a summer job, and I thought that they would, but they did not! I have emailed the hiring manager couple of times and no respond. I even left him a voicemail and still no return call. I think that is so unprofessional, especially since we met, and especially since I was referred to him by my former boss who happened to be his former boss.
It is possible that something has happened to the company. They are startup after all and one never knows how long a startup can survive. But boy when they do, it is so cool to have been part of them. That is why I keep going for startups. So that is that.
I have few more weeks of school and then the summer school I suppose. I am trying to convince myself that it would be good to just concentrate on my thesis project exclusively this summer. Hopefully, one of these days I shall believe it! lol.
I have a great news! I met someone, a prefect someone that I shall talk about later on. I am hopeful that we can enjoy spending some quality time together during the summer with my very flexible schedule. He lives where my sister does, so yes, I see lots of train ride in my future, lol.
I have kept up with my walking and since March 13th I have been walking/running. I shall talk about that in another post. Oh, I just want to mention that I have lost another 13 pounds for a total of 27 pounds since August 31st. I am so proud of myself in this regard.
I have been keeping up with my reading too. I am going to update my goodreads now.
Happy Easter.
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Saturday, February 26, 2011
What to do?
Let me define a few acronyms, lol, so that I could talk about my professors easily!
First there is my independent study professor (ISP). I took a class with him last semester and the independent study is kindof/sortof the continuation of that class. When I approached him about possibly working with him, he told me that this area is not his background and research interest, but I liked him enough that I was OK with that! He is a nice person and I think is very liked in the department.
Anyhow, ISP accepted to supervise me in the independent study and said that if we needed guidance we could always turn to the expert professor (EP) in the area that I am studying now. The ISP and I have met with the EP once and had a great discussion.
Last semester I found out that there is a professor who has appointments with both my undergrad and current departments, he shall be referred to as two-department professor (TDP).
When I was told about the unique situation of TDP, I made an appointment and went to see him, regarding the possibility of researching under his supervision. We had a great discussion, lasting over an hour. I came out of his office all excited about having an amazingly challenging project to work on! He told me that he was going to email me several articles to read, after which we could get together, discuss, plan and proceed. However, he never sent me anything. I emailed him couple of times, and every time he responded and said that he was going to get back to me, but never did!
I was disappointed, and I brought up the situation in the conversation with a few friends! But everyone I talked to told me to write him off and encouraged me to go talk to other professors. They reasoned that I needed a professor who is reliable and has time for me!
Now fast forward to the beginning of this semester. I like to go to my classes a bit early, especially at the beginning of the semester, so that I could find a comfortable spot to sit; not too in front to breathe chalk residue, lol, and not too far back to be bothered by too many heads in my view.
For my first class this semester, as always, I was early. It was the first class in the morning and as I walked in I saw another student already in the class. I smiled and to my surprised she said good morning. She was very pleasant and I was about to completely eat my words, lol, that the students from my department are unfriendly and unapproachable! But not so fast!
She started telling me that this building is confusing. No kidding, lol! You see that class is in one half of the building that used to be two separate buildings! At some point, however, the buildings were connected. The confusing part is that they still are considered as two buildings, with the preserved names and entrances. From the inside, one can tell the buildings apart by the colors of the hallway, painted with two different colors, however the colors are very close that could be unnoticeable to someone new. Another confusing part is that the office/class numbers in the two building are numbered in opposite directions (one increasing north-south, the other increasing south-north), and yes there are two rooms numbered 111, pretty much next to each other, lol! So yes, for a new person it is confusing!
Since I knew this course is kindof/sortof only for majors I asked her if this was her first term. She said no, her second, but she never had any classes in this building! I was confused, since I thought all the classes of my major are in our building! When I told her, she said that her major is actually my undergrad major. It turned out that she and I have gone on the reverse order, lol, her undergrad major is my graduate major, and vice versa.
She told me that last semester she took all her three classes in her major and she was reduced to tears with working in the lab. It was too much work for her. Especially that she did not have all the background she needed for those classes. So this semester she is taking a graduate class from her undergrad major, hoping that would be easy, and the other two classes are more of low level graduate classes in her current department.
She said that she was in a Ph.D. program, and she just graduated from college last year. I was impressed. I was under the impression that only 4.0 GPA people can go from undergrad to the Ph.D. program. But she said that her GPA is not a perfect 4.0. She did not tell me what it was! I wonder if she was not too proud of it, or just did not want to share.
She also told me that many students these days apply to the Ph.D. program rather than MS program, since there is more chance of getting financial help. And if they decided they don't want to go for Ph.D. they can switch in their last term and graduate with an MS degree. And yes, she does not pay tuition, gets stipend, and works as a research assistant! Good deal.
Anyhow, when I found that she is in the TDP's other department I asked if she knows him. She said that she had a class with him last semester and it was one of the hardest classes she had taken. She said but in the middle of the semester TDP got sick and another professor covered his classes for the rest of the semester. I had no idea! I told her that I had gone to talk to TDP about a possibility of working with him, but he never saw it through. She told me to contact him again. She said TDP is an amazingly kind person, and never ignore anyone knowingly. She thought with his health issue he probably has forgotten about our conversation and his intention to email me articles.
I decided to listen to her advice, and promptly after we were done with our first class I emailed TDP, reminding him about our meeting last term, and asked him if I could stop by his office at some point.
Couple of weeks later I got an email from him, telling me that he was in his office and if I wanted to stop by. I got so excited and without emailing him back, I run toward his office! We had another great discussion, lasting over two hours. He told me that he was going to send me articles to read. I got my flash drive out and asked him, if possible, to put them on my drive right then. He gave me quite a few articles and happily I went back to the library.
Right now I am kindof/sortof confused! In one hand, I have an opportunity to work with a professor that allows me to take advantage of my work experience of all these years along with my current studies, but has health issues. I am not sure, if he has recovered completely now and I can be sure that he is going to be available and have time for me until I finish my project. Working in his area of research is going to be priceless. I truly believe if I work with him I am going to finally land my dream job.
On the other hand, as I get more into my independent study research area, reading articles, attending talks, discussing my understanding with ISP, and have an opportunity to learn from the EP, I so want to work in that area and with EP. Working with him and learning from him is going to be extraordinary. He is someone who is not only very knowledgeable and can teach his knowledge very well, but he is also very recognized and respected in his field of research. However, he has many students working for him, and I am told he only accepts students who are in the Ph.D. program.
So I am agonizing over which route I should/could take!
First there is my independent study professor (ISP). I took a class with him last semester and the independent study is kindof/sortof the continuation of that class. When I approached him about possibly working with him, he told me that this area is not his background and research interest, but I liked him enough that I was OK with that! He is a nice person and I think is very liked in the department.
Anyhow, ISP accepted to supervise me in the independent study and said that if we needed guidance we could always turn to the expert professor (EP) in the area that I am studying now. The ISP and I have met with the EP once and had a great discussion.
Last semester I found out that there is a professor who has appointments with both my undergrad and current departments, he shall be referred to as two-department professor (TDP).
When I was told about the unique situation of TDP, I made an appointment and went to see him, regarding the possibility of researching under his supervision. We had a great discussion, lasting over an hour. I came out of his office all excited about having an amazingly challenging project to work on! He told me that he was going to email me several articles to read, after which we could get together, discuss, plan and proceed. However, he never sent me anything. I emailed him couple of times, and every time he responded and said that he was going to get back to me, but never did!
I was disappointed, and I brought up the situation in the conversation with a few friends! But everyone I talked to told me to write him off and encouraged me to go talk to other professors. They reasoned that I needed a professor who is reliable and has time for me!
Now fast forward to the beginning of this semester. I like to go to my classes a bit early, especially at the beginning of the semester, so that I could find a comfortable spot to sit; not too in front to breathe chalk residue, lol, and not too far back to be bothered by too many heads in my view.
For my first class this semester, as always, I was early. It was the first class in the morning and as I walked in I saw another student already in the class. I smiled and to my surprised she said good morning. She was very pleasant and I was about to completely eat my words, lol, that the students from my department are unfriendly and unapproachable! But not so fast!
She started telling me that this building is confusing. No kidding, lol! You see that class is in one half of the building that used to be two separate buildings! At some point, however, the buildings were connected. The confusing part is that they still are considered as two buildings, with the preserved names and entrances. From the inside, one can tell the buildings apart by the colors of the hallway, painted with two different colors, however the colors are very close that could be unnoticeable to someone new. Another confusing part is that the office/class numbers in the two building are numbered in opposite directions (one increasing north-south, the other increasing south-north), and yes there are two rooms numbered 111, pretty much next to each other, lol! So yes, for a new person it is confusing!
Since I knew this course is kindof/sortof only for majors I asked her if this was her first term. She said no, her second, but she never had any classes in this building! I was confused, since I thought all the classes of my major are in our building! When I told her, she said that her major is actually my undergrad major. It turned out that she and I have gone on the reverse order, lol, her undergrad major is my graduate major, and vice versa.
She told me that last semester she took all her three classes in her major and she was reduced to tears with working in the lab. It was too much work for her. Especially that she did not have all the background she needed for those classes. So this semester she is taking a graduate class from her undergrad major, hoping that would be easy, and the other two classes are more of low level graduate classes in her current department.
She said that she was in a Ph.D. program, and she just graduated from college last year. I was impressed. I was under the impression that only 4.0 GPA people can go from undergrad to the Ph.D. program. But she said that her GPA is not a perfect 4.0. She did not tell me what it was! I wonder if she was not too proud of it, or just did not want to share.
She also told me that many students these days apply to the Ph.D. program rather than MS program, since there is more chance of getting financial help. And if they decided they don't want to go for Ph.D. they can switch in their last term and graduate with an MS degree. And yes, she does not pay tuition, gets stipend, and works as a research assistant! Good deal.
Anyhow, when I found that she is in the TDP's other department I asked if she knows him. She said that she had a class with him last semester and it was one of the hardest classes she had taken. She said but in the middle of the semester TDP got sick and another professor covered his classes for the rest of the semester. I had no idea! I told her that I had gone to talk to TDP about a possibility of working with him, but he never saw it through. She told me to contact him again. She said TDP is an amazingly kind person, and never ignore anyone knowingly. She thought with his health issue he probably has forgotten about our conversation and his intention to email me articles.
I decided to listen to her advice, and promptly after we were done with our first class I emailed TDP, reminding him about our meeting last term, and asked him if I could stop by his office at some point.
Couple of weeks later I got an email from him, telling me that he was in his office and if I wanted to stop by. I got so excited and without emailing him back, I run toward his office! We had another great discussion, lasting over two hours. He told me that he was going to send me articles to read. I got my flash drive out and asked him, if possible, to put them on my drive right then. He gave me quite a few articles and happily I went back to the library.
Right now I am kindof/sortof confused! In one hand, I have an opportunity to work with a professor that allows me to take advantage of my work experience of all these years along with my current studies, but has health issues. I am not sure, if he has recovered completely now and I can be sure that he is going to be available and have time for me until I finish my project. Working in his area of research is going to be priceless. I truly believe if I work with him I am going to finally land my dream job.
On the other hand, as I get more into my independent study research area, reading articles, attending talks, discussing my understanding with ISP, and have an opportunity to learn from the EP, I so want to work in that area and with EP. Working with him and learning from him is going to be extraordinary. He is someone who is not only very knowledgeable and can teach his knowledge very well, but he is also very recognized and respected in his field of research. However, he has many students working for him, and I am told he only accepts students who are in the Ph.D. program.
So I am agonizing over which route I should/could take!
Monday, February 21, 2011
A few updates!
I got an email from a manager who used to work for my former boss, asking if I was still looking for a part time employment.
Back in late September, when I felt that I was not in a very good financial situation, and since I had only two classes for credit, I send my resume to my contacts asking them to please kindly forward it to any hiring managers they know. I had high hopes, and I was also told that I should have high hopes! But nothing happened for about 6 months, until earlier this month.
The person emailing me sounded very nice. He had first apologized for not getting back to me when our mutual boss had sent him my resume, and he also had gone into details of the available positions at his company and the one he was considering me for. I emailed him back, gave him a few times when I would be available for a phone conversation. I decided to leave the details of my changed priorities for the phone conversation.
Yes, my priorities have changed since last September! Then I wanted and could handle a part-time job. I had two courses; I was spending about 30 hours a week going to those two classes and study for them. So I could spare 20 hours of week working. I was also scared of depleting my savings and could foresee being forced to sell my home. So a part time job was not only doable but desperately needed.
Now, I am taking three classes, and one is an independent study class, which I am spending a lot of time reading articles, attending talks, and writing my understanding of those articles/talks. And the rented upstairs of my home pays a good portion of the mortgage. So I rather concentrate on school, finish up fast and with success. But I am looking and hoping to find a summer fulltime employment, something that could turn into an offer once I am done with school.
Anyhow, the hiring manager picked one of the times I had suggested and called me. We talked for about an hour, and I really liked him. The job that he is considering me for is neither that exciting nor doable for me time wise! He wants someone right away, and wants their time for 20+ hours a week. So I explained to him my situation, but even with knowing that I was not that interested in the position, still he asked me if I would go for an in person interview, and so I did.
I LIKED everyone who interviewed me, and I LIKED the company's technology and goals. It is a startup with many bright, hardworking people. I felt that I could grow with the job. I have not felt this excited about a possibility of a job in a long time.
Somehow I feel that after talking to me, maybe they have changed their minds regarding the position that they had first considered me for. Hopefully I am right. Hopefully they are considering me for one of their more senior fulltime positions, for the summer. I can't help it, but I am very optimistic! And I am so thrilled about the possibility of working in an exciting environment again, lol.
On the date front, my date last weekend did not go too well! I so wanted to like the guy, but I feel bad for even saying this that I felt he was acting! I truly felt that he was not himself, that he was working so hard to show me how likeable he is!
From the beginning of the year I have been telling myself, I should be less judgmental. I should give myself, my family and friends who kindly try to set me up, and the guy, a chance. That I should have an open mind! That I should not let me first impression dictate where my relationship is going to go, since I am not that good judge of character to begin with! But still I am behaving like I have in the past several years. I judge the guy and then I can't go any further!
My last weekend's date works with my mom. She said she had been evaluating him, lol, to see if she could introduce him to me. For a week she kept telling me how kind, considerate, nice guy he is, and I was excited. He was kind, considerate, and a nice guy, but truly I felt it was just an act! How much more awful could I think! I didn't like myself thinking like that, but I can't help it either!
So I decided to getaway and not think about last weekend much! I went to my sister's since I didn't have classes today. Thursday afternoon, after my last class, I took the train and I was there right around the time my sister got off work. It was fun to hang out with her and I also got the opportunity to go to her former school and watch the video of the talk series I am interested in. Yes, I also did go to her gym, lol.
At the beginning of the semester, my independent study professor told me that I should attend at least one talk a week and try to write/talk about it when we meet. He suggested series of talks in our department, but not all talks in this series seemed interesting to me.
Just out of curiosity I started checking other schools, including where my sister had gone to school (in the same city she lives now). To my surprise I found weekly talks, which after reading their abstracts, all of them seemed very related to the area of my research interest! There was one talk in particular that I so wanted to attend! The talk was on the problem which I had studied a bit about it last semester, and after much thinking I decided to go for it.
Thankfully, that talk was on the same day that I meet with my independent study professor and I don't have any other classes. So after I told him of my interested in attending the talk, he encouraged me to go, we rearranged our meeting for that week and so I was ready to go.
But before making the trip I decided to make sure that I actually shall be allowed to attend the talk! I know that most talks at schools are open to public, but the talk series that I am attending at my school, is in a building that the IDs are checked at the entrance. I am not sure if I had showed a picture ID other than my school ID would I have been allowed to enter the building or not! So I wrote the organizer of the talk at my sister's former school and asked if I could attend their talk.
It turned out that the Professor who is organizing this year's talks had graduated from my current department a few years back, and so he told me to stop by his office when I arrived there. He was very nice and even sent me information on where I could park my car and a campus map!
So after my last class of the day I took the train and got to my sister's just before midnight. My sister went to work late the next day and so we spend the morning together, went to the gym and then had brunch. In the afternoon I went to the talk and left afterward.
I am so glad that I did go. It was a great talk and not only I learned a bit, but I got to see the problem that I am kindof/sortof familiar with, solved form a very different perspective.
During the talk I noticed that the talk was being recorded and I thought maybe it would be available over the net and so I could watch it from home. However, I found out later that unfortunately during the semester the talks are available to school community only!
My sister does not have a remote access privilege to her school network anymore, but she does have an ID to enter the library where she can get access to the campus network. So this weekend both Saturday morning and Sunday morning she came to the library with me, and using her privileges, I was able to watch the talks that I had missed. I even watched a few of them couple of times. I am learning so much from these talks.
So school is going very well. All three of my classes are great and I am on top of my work. My daily walk of 3-5 miles is done right on the schedule, lol, I have not missed even one day. My eating habit of vegan is working for me. According to the scale at my sister's gym I have lost over 4 pounds since December that I was there. I am not uncomfortable in my little basement area anymore! I have gotten used to its limitation, lol. So life is great at the moment. Well almost great! The only thing that is not going well for me is dating!
I have met someone that I really like, but I don't think the feeling is mutual! Actually I don't know much about him and doesn't seem that he wants to know much about me! But I can't help it! I have been thinking about him a lot! Unfortunately we are not running in the same circle so making appearance in his vicinity is not that practical, lol.
Back in late September, when I felt that I was not in a very good financial situation, and since I had only two classes for credit, I send my resume to my contacts asking them to please kindly forward it to any hiring managers they know. I had high hopes, and I was also told that I should have high hopes! But nothing happened for about 6 months, until earlier this month.
The person emailing me sounded very nice. He had first apologized for not getting back to me when our mutual boss had sent him my resume, and he also had gone into details of the available positions at his company and the one he was considering me for. I emailed him back, gave him a few times when I would be available for a phone conversation. I decided to leave the details of my changed priorities for the phone conversation.
Yes, my priorities have changed since last September! Then I wanted and could handle a part-time job. I had two courses; I was spending about 30 hours a week going to those two classes and study for them. So I could spare 20 hours of week working. I was also scared of depleting my savings and could foresee being forced to sell my home. So a part time job was not only doable but desperately needed.
Now, I am taking three classes, and one is an independent study class, which I am spending a lot of time reading articles, attending talks, and writing my understanding of those articles/talks. And the rented upstairs of my home pays a good portion of the mortgage. So I rather concentrate on school, finish up fast and with success. But I am looking and hoping to find a summer fulltime employment, something that could turn into an offer once I am done with school.
Anyhow, the hiring manager picked one of the times I had suggested and called me. We talked for about an hour, and I really liked him. The job that he is considering me for is neither that exciting nor doable for me time wise! He wants someone right away, and wants their time for 20+ hours a week. So I explained to him my situation, but even with knowing that I was not that interested in the position, still he asked me if I would go for an in person interview, and so I did.
I LIKED everyone who interviewed me, and I LIKED the company's technology and goals. It is a startup with many bright, hardworking people. I felt that I could grow with the job. I have not felt this excited about a possibility of a job in a long time.
Somehow I feel that after talking to me, maybe they have changed their minds regarding the position that they had first considered me for. Hopefully I am right. Hopefully they are considering me for one of their more senior fulltime positions, for the summer. I can't help it, but I am very optimistic! And I am so thrilled about the possibility of working in an exciting environment again, lol.
On the date front, my date last weekend did not go too well! I so wanted to like the guy, but I feel bad for even saying this that I felt he was acting! I truly felt that he was not himself, that he was working so hard to show me how likeable he is!
From the beginning of the year I have been telling myself, I should be less judgmental. I should give myself, my family and friends who kindly try to set me up, and the guy, a chance. That I should have an open mind! That I should not let me first impression dictate where my relationship is going to go, since I am not that good judge of character to begin with! But still I am behaving like I have in the past several years. I judge the guy and then I can't go any further!
My last weekend's date works with my mom. She said she had been evaluating him, lol, to see if she could introduce him to me. For a week she kept telling me how kind, considerate, nice guy he is, and I was excited. He was kind, considerate, and a nice guy, but truly I felt it was just an act! How much more awful could I think! I didn't like myself thinking like that, but I can't help it either!
So I decided to getaway and not think about last weekend much! I went to my sister's since I didn't have classes today. Thursday afternoon, after my last class, I took the train and I was there right around the time my sister got off work. It was fun to hang out with her and I also got the opportunity to go to her former school and watch the video of the talk series I am interested in. Yes, I also did go to her gym, lol.
At the beginning of the semester, my independent study professor told me that I should attend at least one talk a week and try to write/talk about it when we meet. He suggested series of talks in our department, but not all talks in this series seemed interesting to me.
Just out of curiosity I started checking other schools, including where my sister had gone to school (in the same city she lives now). To my surprise I found weekly talks, which after reading their abstracts, all of them seemed very related to the area of my research interest! There was one talk in particular that I so wanted to attend! The talk was on the problem which I had studied a bit about it last semester, and after much thinking I decided to go for it.
Thankfully, that talk was on the same day that I meet with my independent study professor and I don't have any other classes. So after I told him of my interested in attending the talk, he encouraged me to go, we rearranged our meeting for that week and so I was ready to go.
But before making the trip I decided to make sure that I actually shall be allowed to attend the talk! I know that most talks at schools are open to public, but the talk series that I am attending at my school, is in a building that the IDs are checked at the entrance. I am not sure if I had showed a picture ID other than my school ID would I have been allowed to enter the building or not! So I wrote the organizer of the talk at my sister's former school and asked if I could attend their talk.
It turned out that the Professor who is organizing this year's talks had graduated from my current department a few years back, and so he told me to stop by his office when I arrived there. He was very nice and even sent me information on where I could park my car and a campus map!
So after my last class of the day I took the train and got to my sister's just before midnight. My sister went to work late the next day and so we spend the morning together, went to the gym and then had brunch. In the afternoon I went to the talk and left afterward.
I am so glad that I did go. It was a great talk and not only I learned a bit, but I got to see the problem that I am kindof/sortof familiar with, solved form a very different perspective.
During the talk I noticed that the talk was being recorded and I thought maybe it would be available over the net and so I could watch it from home. However, I found out later that unfortunately during the semester the talks are available to school community only!
My sister does not have a remote access privilege to her school network anymore, but she does have an ID to enter the library where she can get access to the campus network. So this weekend both Saturday morning and Sunday morning she came to the library with me, and using her privileges, I was able to watch the talks that I had missed. I even watched a few of them couple of times. I am learning so much from these talks.
So school is going very well. All three of my classes are great and I am on top of my work. My daily walk of 3-5 miles is done right on the schedule, lol, I have not missed even one day. My eating habit of vegan is working for me. According to the scale at my sister's gym I have lost over 4 pounds since December that I was there. I am not uncomfortable in my little basement area anymore! I have gotten used to its limitation, lol. So life is great at the moment. Well almost great! The only thing that is not going well for me is dating!
I have met someone that I really like, but I don't think the feeling is mutual! Actually I don't know much about him and doesn't seem that he wants to know much about me! But I can't help it! I have been thinking about him a lot! Unfortunately we are not running in the same circle so making appearance in his vicinity is not that practical, lol.
Sunday, February 13, 2011
I have been following a vegan diet ...
and it is going well.
Before the semester started I was looking for a diet that could work for me this semester. Last semester, all in all, I think I went grocery shopping three times (once before the semester started, and twice during the semester), then I spend the rest of that day cooking, and then froze a single servings of a few dishes I made, so that it would be easy to heat for dinner, when I get home late and tired. During the day I survived on 3-4 Atkins bars and coffee.
In my basement area I neither have a stove, nor a big refrigerator, so going shopping a few times and cooking and freezing was not going to work! Also I wanted to give up processed food and caffeine.
Then I run into one of my best friend's sister-in-law and when I saw how trimmed she has gotten after giving birth to twins little over a year ago, I got intrigue. She told me that she has gone vegan and tries to eat mostly raw food. She suggested couple of books to me, which I read promptly. I am not convince that meat is bad for me, and diary is not good for me, but I felt that with the limited time and limited kitchen that I have, going vegan would work for me this semester.
It is actually a 180 degree from what I have been practicing in the past 7 or so years, and what I believed in. But then I had the opportunity to observe my mom's eating habit for the two weeks, and remembered neither I, nor any of my sisters had weight issues while we lived at home. And my mom, she has always been the weight she is now. Her secret, which is no secret, is that she eats fresh fruits and vegetables for most of her meals. She does not snack. Yes, she does eat meat, and diary, but not much. During the two weeks that I stayed with her and took up cooking for us, I saw how she filled her plate with salad and veggies, and took small pieces of the chicken or meat.
Anyhow, for the past few weeks, I have given up coffee, now I drink mostly green tea. At first I didn't like the taste of green tea, but I was able to tolerate it with a packet of Stavia. Now my tastebud has changed and can drink it without any sweetener.
Breakfast has been either oatmeal with almond milk, a banana and cinnamon, or fruit smoothie, with fresh squeezed orange or grapefruit or tangerine, a banana, and a mango. A couple of times I also made peanut butter sandwich with banana on top, very delicious, lol.
During the day I eat 3-4 small apples or tangerines, each time with half sandwich of peanut butter. Fruit is my trigger food, if I eat fruit alone I get very hungry within an hour. But if I eat some carb or protein with it, or within half an hour it, I am OK.
Dinner has been vegetable salads, or vegetable soups. I have been making vegetable soups in my slow cooker and I love my soups. I really don't like to cook meat in my slow cooker, so it has worked out great!
So yes, I have been spending more time cooking and preparing my meals but then I have been having more energy, even though I sleep less! I am still wide awake before 5 am, that is almost two hours earlier than last semester, and I go to bed around midnight, that is another two to two and half hours later than last semester. And I don't feel tired at all; instead I feel more alert and feel that I am more productive during the day. So yes it is going great.
School is going great too. My independent study course is really fun. But I have to write about school in another post.
I have been keeping up with my walking goal as well, even thought I have not updated my dailymile. A couple of weeks ago, there were a few days that it was not easy to walk at least 3 miles a day outside, but I managed somehow!
I spent last night here at my parents, and I am taking today off from going to the library, instead am spending it with my parents, sisters and their families. I am going home early this afternoon to get ready! I have a date tonight, lol.
Happy Valentine's Day.
Before the semester started I was looking for a diet that could work for me this semester. Last semester, all in all, I think I went grocery shopping three times (once before the semester started, and twice during the semester), then I spend the rest of that day cooking, and then froze a single servings of a few dishes I made, so that it would be easy to heat for dinner, when I get home late and tired. During the day I survived on 3-4 Atkins bars and coffee.
In my basement area I neither have a stove, nor a big refrigerator, so going shopping a few times and cooking and freezing was not going to work! Also I wanted to give up processed food and caffeine.
Then I run into one of my best friend's sister-in-law and when I saw how trimmed she has gotten after giving birth to twins little over a year ago, I got intrigue. She told me that she has gone vegan and tries to eat mostly raw food. She suggested couple of books to me, which I read promptly. I am not convince that meat is bad for me, and diary is not good for me, but I felt that with the limited time and limited kitchen that I have, going vegan would work for me this semester.
It is actually a 180 degree from what I have been practicing in the past 7 or so years, and what I believed in. But then I had the opportunity to observe my mom's eating habit for the two weeks, and remembered neither I, nor any of my sisters had weight issues while we lived at home. And my mom, she has always been the weight she is now. Her secret, which is no secret, is that she eats fresh fruits and vegetables for most of her meals. She does not snack. Yes, she does eat meat, and diary, but not much. During the two weeks that I stayed with her and took up cooking for us, I saw how she filled her plate with salad and veggies, and took small pieces of the chicken or meat.
Anyhow, for the past few weeks, I have given up coffee, now I drink mostly green tea. At first I didn't like the taste of green tea, but I was able to tolerate it with a packet of Stavia. Now my tastebud has changed and can drink it without any sweetener.
Breakfast has been either oatmeal with almond milk, a banana and cinnamon, or fruit smoothie, with fresh squeezed orange or grapefruit or tangerine, a banana, and a mango. A couple of times I also made peanut butter sandwich with banana on top, very delicious, lol.
During the day I eat 3-4 small apples or tangerines, each time with half sandwich of peanut butter. Fruit is my trigger food, if I eat fruit alone I get very hungry within an hour. But if I eat some carb or protein with it, or within half an hour it, I am OK.
Dinner has been vegetable salads, or vegetable soups. I have been making vegetable soups in my slow cooker and I love my soups. I really don't like to cook meat in my slow cooker, so it has worked out great!
So yes, I have been spending more time cooking and preparing my meals but then I have been having more energy, even though I sleep less! I am still wide awake before 5 am, that is almost two hours earlier than last semester, and I go to bed around midnight, that is another two to two and half hours later than last semester. And I don't feel tired at all; instead I feel more alert and feel that I am more productive during the day. So yes it is going great.
School is going great too. My independent study course is really fun. But I have to write about school in another post.
I have been keeping up with my walking goal as well, even thought I have not updated my dailymile. A couple of weeks ago, there were a few days that it was not easy to walk at least 3 miles a day outside, but I managed somehow!
I spent last night here at my parents, and I am taking today off from going to the library, instead am spending it with my parents, sisters and their families. I am going home early this afternoon to get ready! I have a date tonight, lol.
Happy Valentine's Day.
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Yet another eating plan!
I was at one my of best friend's today. Her sister-in-law was there too. I had seen her a few times before, but I didn't remember her being this skinny. She looked amazing. So I consulted my best friend, lol, and then asked her sister-in-law what type of eating plan she is following. She said that she has been eating more raw food, more veggies and fruits, and less meat and dairy. She gave me the name of couple of books to read. I am inspired!
Since the beginning of the year, I have tried to eat real food, tried to cook more, eat protein and veggies, and avoid processed food including meal replacement bars that was the staple of my diet last semester! However, I knew that I couldn't carry this plan into the semester and once I am back home. For one thing, in my tiny basement area, I don't have a stove to cook.
The extent of appliances in my "kitchen" down below is a large old microwave, a slow cooker, a coffee maker, and an old refrigerator.
My big old microwave was almost a year old when I moved into my house with its own new state-of-the-art, lol, build-in microwave in the newly remodeled state-of-the-art kitchen, lol, I miss my own kitchen. Anyhow, I stored my old microwave in the basement thinking I shall give it away to the first person who needs it. Well that turned out to be myself. I figured at least I can warm up my food!
Similar with the old refrigerator which I got from my mom. My mom had this small old fridge that she kept in her garage, ready to give it away. When I decided to move into the basement area, I took it off her hand, lol. I don't think I would have bought a fridge if my mom hadn't give me this one. I couldn't afford a regular fridge, and I don't think I could have talked myself into buying one those small fridge kids get for their dorm rooms.
So trying to eat more raw veggies, with no cooking required, is becoming more and more appealing to me, once I get back home.
This week, I am planning to read the books my best friend's sister-in-law suggested, to get ready to adopt more raw eating way.
The Raw Food Detox Diet: The Five Step Plan for Vibrant Health and Maximum Weight Loss by Natalia Rose
Skinny Bitch by Rory Freedman and Kim Barnouin (available at audible.com)
Happy reading/listening!
Since the beginning of the year, I have tried to eat real food, tried to cook more, eat protein and veggies, and avoid processed food including meal replacement bars that was the staple of my diet last semester! However, I knew that I couldn't carry this plan into the semester and once I am back home. For one thing, in my tiny basement area, I don't have a stove to cook.
The extent of appliances in my "kitchen" down below is a large old microwave, a slow cooker, a coffee maker, and an old refrigerator.
My big old microwave was almost a year old when I moved into my house with its own new state-of-the-art, lol, build-in microwave in the newly remodeled state-of-the-art kitchen, lol, I miss my own kitchen. Anyhow, I stored my old microwave in the basement thinking I shall give it away to the first person who needs it. Well that turned out to be myself. I figured at least I can warm up my food!
Similar with the old refrigerator which I got from my mom. My mom had this small old fridge that she kept in her garage, ready to give it away. When I decided to move into the basement area, I took it off her hand, lol. I don't think I would have bought a fridge if my mom hadn't give me this one. I couldn't afford a regular fridge, and I don't think I could have talked myself into buying one those small fridge kids get for their dorm rooms.
So trying to eat more raw veggies, with no cooking required, is becoming more and more appealing to me, once I get back home.
This week, I am planning to read the books my best friend's sister-in-law suggested, to get ready to adopt more raw eating way.
The Raw Food Detox Diet: The Five Step Plan for Vibrant Health and Maximum Weight Loss by Natalia Rose
 |   Browse Inside this bookGet this for your site |  |
Skinny Bitch by Rory Freedman and Kim Barnouin (available at audible.com)
Happy reading/listening!
Friday, January 21, 2011
Comparison-Wish-Discovery-Conclusion-Advice-Prayer!
I attended a training class today and I can't help not comparing my experience in today's training class with my classes last term! Maybe it is an unfair comparison! Today's training was more casual if you will. Regular course classes, I suppose, are formal. No matter, I just wished my classmates from my department could be more like today's bunch, friendlier, approachable, inviting, helpful, kind and considerate!
I don't want to stereotype! Could students from different departments/majors behave this differently?
The students in today's training class were all CS majors, mostly graduate students, but I think one of them is a undergrad senior. Anyhow, there was such a comradely atmosphere in the training class today that I did not notice we were there for over seven hours! None of these people knew me, they knew each other though, but they considered me as one of them from the very beginning of the class, and I felt so good being part of their group!
Let me backup a bit.
I got an email from the cute guy earlier this week, telling me there is a training class for the program I am trying to learn. He stated that this training is probably going to be an all day event, and was asking if I wanted to attend?
Apparently there was a major release in November, of the software that I shall be using in one of my classes, in the coming semester. Since November the IT people have been evaluating the new version to decide if they want to install it on the campus computers. They decided that the version was stable enough to be rolled out, and so the two people who had been evaluating the program, were conducting an all day seminar/training for the people who are going to teach the training classes during the semester (the same classes the cute guy first suggested I take).
So of course I told the cute guy, if it is possible, I would very much like to attend the full day training class.
Apparently the people who conducted the training are friends/colleagues of the cute guy, and so they included me, even though I am not going to teach the short training classes, and even though I was not familiar with the program as much as others in the class were; others had used/taught the previous version of the program extensively.
Anyhow, I was very thankful that I was still allowed to attend this training.
The training was today. Of course I was not totally lost, but I was much slower than others. However, no one got annoyed, they all pitched in to answer my questions, or help me when I felt lost. The atmosphere was teamwork, collaboration, support, and I felt so comfortable. I learned a lot, and I feel I am an expert user now, lol.
So it was not me after all! lol. For a while I have been puzzled why I hadn't been able to connect with my classmates. I thought it was my age, being much older than most of other students, but then I wrote that off since I had always been able to befriended my colleagues, both older and younger than me. Age had never been an issue!
When I wasn't able to bond with my classmates or other graduate students in my department, by the middle of the semester, I blamed myself! I held myself responsible for isolating myself, reasoning that I had been antisocial, that I had been going to the library all day, that I had avoided social events, and basically I avoided them all.
When I first started school, I wasn't in a very comfortable place, mentally. I was very worried about being able to make it at school, after all these years being away. I wondered if I had the state of mind to study, to take exams and do well, and to write coherent papers! I wasn't sure if I had made the right decision putting myself in the situation that not only I could deplete all my savings, but also I could very easily lose my house as well.
By the middle of the semester, when I realized I was making it in my classes, and was actually doing OK, when I decided to rent my place, and move into my basement, when by chance I came across a web page with my info, in the school directory page, and realized there is a graduate student lounge, and when I went to check out the graduate student lounge, one of the only two graduate students from my department who actually tried to have a conversation with me (excluding my classmate of course, who pretended to want to be my homework partner, but turned she just wanted to copy her homework from mine!), told me that most of the first year graduate students hang out there, and that there is a Friday lunch social that I should attend, I decided to change my antisocial ways.
I frequented more in the department, studied in the graduate student lounge instead of the library, and attended the social Friday lunch pizzas. Tried to be accessible and approached other graduate students, to start a conversation, which truly wasn't that easy for me!
Little by little I realized maybe it hasn't been entirely my fault! Maybe I am not the only antisocial one! For example, I would start a conversation, telling the other student about my background, my concerns, and my goals. Of course they would listen, but as soon as I stop talking, it was silence! They neither showed interest in what I was saying to ask questions, basically guiding the conversation in the direction of their interest, nor did they say what their goals were, or what their background was.
As part of trying to be friendlier, I also made sure I looked at the faces, when passing other students in the hallway, so that if I saw a familiar face I could say hi. But then I noticed that my classmates that I had said hi to multiple times, when they see me and I am not the one who says hi first, they completely ignore me, as if they don't know who I am!
Thus feeling insecure and basically having a chip on my shoulder, lol, I concluded, with hesitation of course, that I am probably too old and too fat for them to befriend! Therefore toward the end of last semester, I decided to accept my department-mates' unfriendly ways, and tried not be bothered by them ignoring me. I opted to go back to my old ways, frequented the library again, avoided the department graduate lounge, went to my classes, and concentrated on my studies, reasoning that I was there to learn and not to socialize. It worked. I studied hard, and I was rewarded with learning a lot, and getting reasonable grades.
But now that I think about it more, I don't think I am the issue here! I think most of the graduate students in my department are the distant ones and the unapproachable ones. And being unfriendly is not just toward me. I had seen very few students talking to each other! The most conversation I had seen, maybe just before class started for example, was that if one had missed a class, he/she was asking others for notes or information about the missed class; that has been the extent of their interaction as I can remember now.
Now comparing my experiences with graduate students from my department with the students from the CS department, no matter how unfair the circumstances, I have come to conclusion that it is the atmosphere in my department that has made the students acts the way they do, I think. I don't think or want to believe that the students from my department are unfriendly, or antisocial, in general. I think maybe someone, or group of someone, at some point, have set the precedence in my current department, with this coldness and the distantness toward each other, and the new graduate students once accepted to the program, they too have adopted this unfriendliness behavior. How unfortunate for all of us!
You know I was thinking to myself, I am glad that I lost my wallet for a few hours last week, lol, since I have met these wonderful people, and I learned so much from them.
Anyhow, after the training I went to the cute guy's office to thank him once more. He asked if I wanted to go grab something to eat. I said yes, and told him it shall be my treat. I told him how grateful I was that he arranged for me to take today's class. At first he teased me about what I had said before, that I was a graduate student and I had no money, but he did not embarrass me when I took out my card to pay. We had dinner and great conversation. He is such an enjoyable person to hang out with.
He told me he completed his PhD last year. I knew that, lol. After I met him that first day, and then learned his full name when I saw his email from earlier that morning notifying me that he had found my wallet, I googled him, lol. He told me about his projects and his thesis. But I knew about those too, lol.
I asked him how he picked his thesis' topic, and how he decided which professor he wanted to work with. He told me all about his experiences at the graduate school, while working fulltime for the IT/CS department, and gave me lots of good advice.
I told him about the professor I had approached to hopefully work with, and told him that the professor keeps emailing me that he is going to arrange a meeting, but he hasn't done so yet, after four months! He told me to write that professor off. He told me to have a one strike rule when it comes to selecting my thesis advisor, lol, if once the professor didn't do what he said he would, I should consider him out! lol. He is tough!
I also told him about the professor I am going to have an independent study with. I told him how this professor has mentioned several times that the area of my interest to study is not his background. The cute guy told me that doesn't mean anything! He said as long as the professor shows interest and wiliness to supervise me, that is the indication that he too is interested in that area. He said even if the professor is not familiar with the subject area, he is going to familiarize himself with the topic and quickly. The cute guy believes that the professor is more resourceful than I, lol. He said the professor knows who in the department could guide us when he and I need guidance, and it is a lot easier for him to approach his colleagues for advice! The cute guy said plus my professor might introduce me to the expert professor, put a good word for me, and maybe I could even get absorb into the project of my interest a lot easier than if I had approached the expert professors myself.
Did I mention that the cute guy gave me lots of good advice, lol.
If you haven't guessed it yet, yes, I have developed a bit of crush on the cute guy. He is much younger than me though! I know that he graduated from college five years after I, so he is about that much younger, I suppose. He looks even younger. If someone had asked me to guess his age, I would have said he is about a decade younger than me! But that would have been my guess before we had a conversation; once I heard him talk, with such an intelligent and kind of authority, lol, then I would have added that I think he is very mature for the age I am guessing.
Coming home tonight to the empty house of my parents, I had a bit of conversation with the Lord! I am not a religious person, but I do pray, as much as the next person, and I am thankful for everything the Lord has blessed me with. I asked him to please let me meet a guy that wants me, wants to marry me, that I want him, and want to marry him. I asked the Lord to let me have a family of my own! So that I could stop feeling the loneliness that I always feel, even if I am around 20+ people. I so want to hold my baby in my arms, and know that he/she belongs to me, to us, and we to him/her. Could I have that please Lord, before it is too late for me, and I am too old to have a baby!
I don't want to stereotype! Could students from different departments/majors behave this differently?
The students in today's training class were all CS majors, mostly graduate students, but I think one of them is a undergrad senior. Anyhow, there was such a comradely atmosphere in the training class today that I did not notice we were there for over seven hours! None of these people knew me, they knew each other though, but they considered me as one of them from the very beginning of the class, and I felt so good being part of their group!
Let me backup a bit.
I got an email from the cute guy earlier this week, telling me there is a training class for the program I am trying to learn. He stated that this training is probably going to be an all day event, and was asking if I wanted to attend?
Apparently there was a major release in November, of the software that I shall be using in one of my classes, in the coming semester. Since November the IT people have been evaluating the new version to decide if they want to install it on the campus computers. They decided that the version was stable enough to be rolled out, and so the two people who had been evaluating the program, were conducting an all day seminar/training for the people who are going to teach the training classes during the semester (the same classes the cute guy first suggested I take).
So of course I told the cute guy, if it is possible, I would very much like to attend the full day training class.
Apparently the people who conducted the training are friends/colleagues of the cute guy, and so they included me, even though I am not going to teach the short training classes, and even though I was not familiar with the program as much as others in the class were; others had used/taught the previous version of the program extensively.
Anyhow, I was very thankful that I was still allowed to attend this training.
The training was today. Of course I was not totally lost, but I was much slower than others. However, no one got annoyed, they all pitched in to answer my questions, or help me when I felt lost. The atmosphere was teamwork, collaboration, support, and I felt so comfortable. I learned a lot, and I feel I am an expert user now, lol.
So it was not me after all! lol. For a while I have been puzzled why I hadn't been able to connect with my classmates. I thought it was my age, being much older than most of other students, but then I wrote that off since I had always been able to befriended my colleagues, both older and younger than me. Age had never been an issue!
When I wasn't able to bond with my classmates or other graduate students in my department, by the middle of the semester, I blamed myself! I held myself responsible for isolating myself, reasoning that I had been antisocial, that I had been going to the library all day, that I had avoided social events, and basically I avoided them all.
When I first started school, I wasn't in a very comfortable place, mentally. I was very worried about being able to make it at school, after all these years being away. I wondered if I had the state of mind to study, to take exams and do well, and to write coherent papers! I wasn't sure if I had made the right decision putting myself in the situation that not only I could deplete all my savings, but also I could very easily lose my house as well.
By the middle of the semester, when I realized I was making it in my classes, and was actually doing OK, when I decided to rent my place, and move into my basement, when by chance I came across a web page with my info, in the school directory page, and realized there is a graduate student lounge, and when I went to check out the graduate student lounge, one of the only two graduate students from my department who actually tried to have a conversation with me (excluding my classmate of course, who pretended to want to be my homework partner, but turned she just wanted to copy her homework from mine!), told me that most of the first year graduate students hang out there, and that there is a Friday lunch social that I should attend, I decided to change my antisocial ways.
I frequented more in the department, studied in the graduate student lounge instead of the library, and attended the social Friday lunch pizzas. Tried to be accessible and approached other graduate students, to start a conversation, which truly wasn't that easy for me!
Little by little I realized maybe it hasn't been entirely my fault! Maybe I am not the only antisocial one! For example, I would start a conversation, telling the other student about my background, my concerns, and my goals. Of course they would listen, but as soon as I stop talking, it was silence! They neither showed interest in what I was saying to ask questions, basically guiding the conversation in the direction of their interest, nor did they say what their goals were, or what their background was.
As part of trying to be friendlier, I also made sure I looked at the faces, when passing other students in the hallway, so that if I saw a familiar face I could say hi. But then I noticed that my classmates that I had said hi to multiple times, when they see me and I am not the one who says hi first, they completely ignore me, as if they don't know who I am!
Thus feeling insecure and basically having a chip on my shoulder, lol, I concluded, with hesitation of course, that I am probably too old and too fat for them to befriend! Therefore toward the end of last semester, I decided to accept my department-mates' unfriendly ways, and tried not be bothered by them ignoring me. I opted to go back to my old ways, frequented the library again, avoided the department graduate lounge, went to my classes, and concentrated on my studies, reasoning that I was there to learn and not to socialize. It worked. I studied hard, and I was rewarded with learning a lot, and getting reasonable grades.
But now that I think about it more, I don't think I am the issue here! I think most of the graduate students in my department are the distant ones and the unapproachable ones. And being unfriendly is not just toward me. I had seen very few students talking to each other! The most conversation I had seen, maybe just before class started for example, was that if one had missed a class, he/she was asking others for notes or information about the missed class; that has been the extent of their interaction as I can remember now.
Now comparing my experiences with graduate students from my department with the students from the CS department, no matter how unfair the circumstances, I have come to conclusion that it is the atmosphere in my department that has made the students acts the way they do, I think. I don't think or want to believe that the students from my department are unfriendly, or antisocial, in general. I think maybe someone, or group of someone, at some point, have set the precedence in my current department, with this coldness and the distantness toward each other, and the new graduate students once accepted to the program, they too have adopted this unfriendliness behavior. How unfortunate for all of us!
You know I was thinking to myself, I am glad that I lost my wallet for a few hours last week, lol, since I have met these wonderful people, and I learned so much from them.
Anyhow, after the training I went to the cute guy's office to thank him once more. He asked if I wanted to go grab something to eat. I said yes, and told him it shall be my treat. I told him how grateful I was that he arranged for me to take today's class. At first he teased me about what I had said before, that I was a graduate student and I had no money, but he did not embarrass me when I took out my card to pay. We had dinner and great conversation. He is such an enjoyable person to hang out with.
He told me he completed his PhD last year. I knew that, lol. After I met him that first day, and then learned his full name when I saw his email from earlier that morning notifying me that he had found my wallet, I googled him, lol. He told me about his projects and his thesis. But I knew about those too, lol.
I asked him how he picked his thesis' topic, and how he decided which professor he wanted to work with. He told me all about his experiences at the graduate school, while working fulltime for the IT/CS department, and gave me lots of good advice.
I told him about the professor I had approached to hopefully work with, and told him that the professor keeps emailing me that he is going to arrange a meeting, but he hasn't done so yet, after four months! He told me to write that professor off. He told me to have a one strike rule when it comes to selecting my thesis advisor, lol, if once the professor didn't do what he said he would, I should consider him out! lol. He is tough!
I also told him about the professor I am going to have an independent study with. I told him how this professor has mentioned several times that the area of my interest to study is not his background. The cute guy told me that doesn't mean anything! He said as long as the professor shows interest and wiliness to supervise me, that is the indication that he too is interested in that area. He said even if the professor is not familiar with the subject area, he is going to familiarize himself with the topic and quickly. The cute guy believes that the professor is more resourceful than I, lol. He said the professor knows who in the department could guide us when he and I need guidance, and it is a lot easier for him to approach his colleagues for advice! The cute guy said plus my professor might introduce me to the expert professor, put a good word for me, and maybe I could even get absorb into the project of my interest a lot easier than if I had approached the expert professors myself.
Did I mention that the cute guy gave me lots of good advice, lol.
If you haven't guessed it yet, yes, I have developed a bit of crush on the cute guy. He is much younger than me though! I know that he graduated from college five years after I, so he is about that much younger, I suppose. He looks even younger. If someone had asked me to guess his age, I would have said he is about a decade younger than me! But that would have been my guess before we had a conversation; once I heard him talk, with such an intelligent and kind of authority, lol, then I would have added that I think he is very mature for the age I am guessing.
Coming home tonight to the empty house of my parents, I had a bit of conversation with the Lord! I am not a religious person, but I do pray, as much as the next person, and I am thankful for everything the Lord has blessed me with. I asked him to please let me meet a guy that wants me, wants to marry me, that I want him, and want to marry him. I asked the Lord to let me have a family of my own! So that I could stop feeling the loneliness that I always feel, even if I am around 20+ people. I so want to hold my baby in my arms, and know that he/she belongs to me, to us, and we to him/her. Could I have that please Lord, before it is too late for me, and I am too old to have a baby!
Monday, January 17, 2011
Smart Student Consumer, lol!
Last week I checked the bookstore's textbook page to see how much I have to spend on my books this semester.
I am taking three classes. One is an independent study, which doesn't have a textbook. Of the other two classes, only one Prof. has placed an order for the book, thankfully, we have only one text for that class. I checked the price: a new book is $191.65, and a used book is $143.75.
I then went to Amazon, hoping that Amazon has some discount on this book. I was happy to see that the new book at Amazon is $128.32. Still I decided to check the used book options to see if I could save a bit more.
While checking other stores listing at Amazon.com I saw that one store is offering the book, new, for $53.41 plus $3.99 shipping for a total of $57.40. Another store offering it for $60.41, shipping included (basically fulfilling Amazon's offer that over $25 order is shipped free). I read the reviews of the store and got comfortable when all were good, and the satisfaction was 98% both long term and for the past year.
As I went to place the order, suddenly my eyes went to the top of the page and saw an offer for students. Current students get one year membership to two-day-free-shipping. I had this membership when Amazon first offered it. I got a one year trial for free, and then renewed it couple of years afterword. When I started listening to audiobooks and ordered books less and less I did not renew my membership the following year. But now, it is free for students, and since I am ordering textbooks, I thought why not.
I followed their step and registered for the free membership, and then placed my order.
I placed the order Tuesday night, the 11th, and it estimated that I shall receive my order on the 14th. When I checked the status of my order the next day, it said it was shipped, and I should expect delivery on the 13th. When we got home Thursday afternoon, it had arrived. Happily I checked my book, concerned about "if the deal is too good to be true, it probably is!"
My book is new and in great condition. I checked all the pages, lol, all good. It comes with a CD. I have checked the CD, all good. So basically I got a $191.65 textbook at our bookstore for $60.41. I am a happy consumer.
This is the book for the same class I was trying to learn the software for it. I have been reading the first couple of chapters. For a technical book at the graduate level, it is actually readable, lol. I have been able to follow and understand the concepts on the first try. I am a happy student right now, lol.
I am learning the materials and a lot about that software program I used last Tuesday makes sense now. There are examples for the software on the CD, referring to the problem I have read in the chapter. So now I understand the problem, I can follow the solution, and when I look at the routine to be run inside that computer program, everything makes sense. Hopefully I can go back to school tomorrow and give the program another go, and this time be successful!
I am taking three classes. One is an independent study, which doesn't have a textbook. Of the other two classes, only one Prof. has placed an order for the book, thankfully, we have only one text for that class. I checked the price: a new book is $191.65, and a used book is $143.75.
I then went to Amazon, hoping that Amazon has some discount on this book. I was happy to see that the new book at Amazon is $128.32. Still I decided to check the used book options to see if I could save a bit more.
While checking other stores listing at Amazon.com I saw that one store is offering the book, new, for $53.41 plus $3.99 shipping for a total of $57.40. Another store offering it for $60.41, shipping included (basically fulfilling Amazon's offer that over $25 order is shipped free). I read the reviews of the store and got comfortable when all were good, and the satisfaction was 98% both long term and for the past year.
As I went to place the order, suddenly my eyes went to the top of the page and saw an offer for students. Current students get one year membership to two-day-free-shipping. I had this membership when Amazon first offered it. I got a one year trial for free, and then renewed it couple of years afterword. When I started listening to audiobooks and ordered books less and less I did not renew my membership the following year. But now, it is free for students, and since I am ordering textbooks, I thought why not.
I followed their step and registered for the free membership, and then placed my order.
I placed the order Tuesday night, the 11th, and it estimated that I shall receive my order on the 14th. When I checked the status of my order the next day, it said it was shipped, and I should expect delivery on the 13th. When we got home Thursday afternoon, it had arrived. Happily I checked my book, concerned about "if the deal is too good to be true, it probably is!"
My book is new and in great condition. I checked all the pages, lol, all good. It comes with a CD. I have checked the CD, all good. So basically I got a $191.65 textbook at our bookstore for $60.41. I am a happy consumer.
This is the book for the same class I was trying to learn the software for it. I have been reading the first couple of chapters. For a technical book at the graduate level, it is actually readable, lol. I have been able to follow and understand the concepts on the first try. I am a happy student right now, lol.
I am learning the materials and a lot about that software program I used last Tuesday makes sense now. There are examples for the software on the CD, referring to the problem I have read in the chapter. So now I understand the problem, I can follow the solution, and when I look at the routine to be run inside that computer program, everything makes sense. Hopefully I can go back to school tomorrow and give the program another go, and this time be successful!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)