Saturday, February 26, 2011

What to do?

Let me define a few acronyms, lol, so that I could talk about my professors easily!

First there is my independent study professor (ISP). I took a class with him last semester and the independent study is kindof/sortof the continuation of that class. When I approached him about possibly working with him, he told me that this area is not his background and research interest, but I liked him enough that I was OK with that! He is a nice person and I think is very liked in the department.

Anyhow, ISP accepted to supervise me in the independent study and said that if we needed guidance we could always turn to the expert professor (EP) in the area that I am studying now. The ISP and I have met with the EP once and had a great discussion.

Last semester I found out that there is a professor who has appointments with both my undergrad and current departments, he shall be referred to as two-department professor (TDP).

When I was told about the unique situation of TDP, I made an appointment and went to see him, regarding the possibility of researching under his supervision. We had a great discussion, lasting over an hour. I came out of his office all excited about having an amazingly challenging project to work on! He told me that he was going to email me several articles to read, after which we could get together, discuss, plan and proceed. However, he never sent me anything. I emailed him couple of times, and every time he responded and said that he was going to get back to me, but never did!

I was disappointed, and I brought up the situation in the conversation with a few friends! But everyone I talked to told me to write him off and encouraged me to go talk to other professors. They reasoned that I needed a professor who is reliable and has time for me!

Now fast forward to the beginning of this semester. I like to go to my classes a bit early, especially at the beginning of the semester, so that I could find a comfortable spot to sit; not too in front to breathe chalk residue, lol, and not too far back to be bothered by too many heads in my view.

For my first class this semester, as always, I was early. It was the first class in the morning and as I walked in I saw another student already in the class. I smiled and to my surprised she said good morning. She was very pleasant and I was about to completely eat my words, lol, that the students from my department are unfriendly and unapproachable! But not so fast!

She started telling me that this building is confusing. No kidding, lol! You see that class is in one half of the building that used to be two separate buildings! At some point, however, the buildings were connected. The confusing part is that they still are considered as two buildings, with the preserved names and entrances. From the inside, one can tell the buildings apart by the colors of the hallway, painted with two different colors, however the colors are very close that could be unnoticeable to someone new. Another confusing part is that the office/class numbers in the two building are numbered in opposite directions (one increasing north-south, the other increasing south-north), and yes there are two rooms numbered 111, pretty much next to each other, lol! So yes, for a new person it is confusing!

Since I knew this course is kindof/sortof only for majors I asked her if this was her first term. She said no, her second, but she never had any classes in this building! I was confused, since I thought all the classes of my major are in our building! When I told her, she said that her major is actually my undergrad major. It turned out that she and I have gone on the reverse order, lol, her undergrad major is my graduate major, and vice versa.

She told me that last semester she took all her three classes in her major and she was reduced to tears with working in the lab. It was too much work for her. Especially that she did not have all the background she needed for those classes. So this semester she is taking a graduate class from her undergrad major, hoping that would be easy, and the other two classes are more of low level graduate classes in her current department.

She said that she was in a Ph.D. program, and she just graduated from college last year. I was impressed. I was under the impression that only 4.0 GPA people can go from undergrad to the Ph.D. program. But she said that her GPA is not a perfect 4.0. She did not tell me what it was! I wonder if she was not too proud of it, or just did not want to share.

She also told me that many students these days apply to the Ph.D. program rather than MS program, since there is more chance of getting financial help. And if they decided they don't want to go for Ph.D. they can switch in their last term and graduate with an MS degree. And yes, she does not pay tuition, gets stipend, and works as a research assistant! Good deal.

Anyhow, when I found that she is in the TDP's other department I asked if she knows him. She said that she had a class with him last semester and it was one of the hardest classes she had taken. She said but in the middle of the semester TDP got sick and another professor covered his classes for the rest of the semester. I had no idea! I told her that I had gone to talk to TDP about a possibility of working with him, but he never saw it through. She told me to contact him again. She said TDP is an amazingly kind person, and never ignore anyone knowingly. She thought with his health issue he probably has forgotten about our conversation and his intention to email me articles.

I decided to listen to her advice, and promptly after we were done with our first class I emailed TDP, reminding him about our meeting last term, and asked him if I could stop by his office at some point.

Couple of weeks later I got an email from him, telling me that he was in his office and if I wanted to stop by. I got so excited and without emailing him back, I run toward his office! We had another great discussion, lasting over two hours. He told me that he was going to send me articles to read. I got my flash drive out and asked him, if possible, to put them on my drive right then. He gave me quite a few articles and happily I went back to the library.

Right now I am kindof/sortof confused! In one hand, I have an opportunity to work with a professor that allows me to take advantage of my work experience of all these years along with my current studies, but has health issues. I am not sure, if he has recovered completely now and I can be sure that he is going to be available and have time for me until I finish my project. Working in his area of research is going to be priceless. I truly believe if I work with him I am going to finally land my dream job.

On the other hand, as I get more into my independent study research area, reading articles, attending talks, discussing my understanding with ISP, and have an opportunity to learn from the EP, I so want to work in that area and with EP. Working with him and learning from him is going to be extraordinary. He is someone who is not only very knowledgeable and can teach his knowledge very well, but he is also very recognized and respected in his field of research. However, he has many students working for him, and I am told he only accepts students who are in the Ph.D. program.

So I am agonizing over which route I should/could take!

Monday, February 21, 2011

A few updates!

I got an email from a manager who used to work for my former boss, asking if I was still looking for a part time employment.

Back in late September, when I felt that I was not in a very good financial situation, and since I had only two classes for credit, I send my resume to my contacts asking them to please kindly forward it to any hiring managers they know. I had high hopes, and I was also told that I should have high hopes! But nothing happened for about 6 months, until earlier this month.

The person emailing me sounded very nice. He had first apologized for not getting back to me when our mutual boss had sent him my resume, and he also had gone into details of the available positions at his company and the one he was considering me for. I emailed him back, gave him a few times when I would be available for a phone conversation. I decided to leave the details of my changed priorities for the phone conversation.

Yes, my priorities have changed since last September! Then I wanted and could handle a part-time job. I had two courses; I was spending about 30 hours a week going to those two classes and study for them. So I could spare 20 hours of week working. I was also scared of depleting my savings and could foresee being forced to sell my home. So a part time job was not only doable but desperately needed.

Now, I am taking three classes, and one is an independent study class, which I am spending a lot of time reading articles, attending talks, and writing my understanding of those articles/talks. And the rented upstairs of my home pays a good portion of the mortgage. So I rather concentrate on school, finish up fast and with success. But I am looking and hoping to find a summer fulltime employment, something that could turn into an offer once I am done with school.

Anyhow, the hiring manager picked one of the times I had suggested and called me. We talked for about an hour, and I really liked him. The job that he is considering me for is neither that exciting nor doable for me time wise! He wants someone right away, and wants their time for 20+ hours a week. So I explained to him my situation, but even with knowing that I was not that interested in the position, still he asked me if I would go for an in person interview, and so I did.

I LIKED everyone who interviewed me, and I LIKED the company's technology and goals. It is a startup with many bright, hardworking people. I felt that I could grow with the job. I have not felt this excited about a possibility of a job in a long time.

Somehow I feel that after talking to me, maybe they have changed their minds regarding the position that they had first considered me for. Hopefully I am right. Hopefully they are considering me for one of their more senior fulltime positions, for the summer. I can't help it, but I am very optimistic! And I am so thrilled about the possibility of working in an exciting environment again, lol.

On the date front, my date last weekend did not go too well! I so wanted to like the guy, but I feel bad for even saying this that I felt he was acting! I truly felt that he was not himself, that he was working so hard to show me how likeable he is!

From the beginning of the year I have been telling myself, I should be less judgmental. I should give myself, my family and friends who kindly try to set me up, and the guy, a chance. That I should have an open mind! That I should not let me first impression dictate where my relationship is going to go, since I am not that good judge of character to begin with! But still I am behaving like I have in the past several years. I judge the guy and then I can't go any further!

My last weekend's date works with my mom. She said she had been evaluating him, lol, to see if she could introduce him to me. For a week she kept telling me how kind, considerate, nice guy he is, and I was excited. He was kind, considerate, and a nice guy, but truly I felt it was just an act! How much more awful could I think! I didn't like myself thinking like that, but I can't help it either!

So I decided to getaway and not think about last weekend much! I went to my sister's since I didn't have classes today. Thursday afternoon, after my last class, I took the train and I was there right around the time my sister got off work. It was fun to hang out with her and I also got the opportunity to go to her former school and watch the video of the talk series I am interested in. Yes, I also did go to her gym, lol.

At the beginning of the semester, my independent study professor told me that I should attend at least one talk a week and try to write/talk about it when we meet. He suggested series of talks in our department, but not all talks in this series seemed interesting to me.

Just out of curiosity I started checking other schools, including where my sister had gone to school (in the same city she lives now). To my surprise I found weekly talks, which after reading their abstracts, all of them seemed very related to the area of my research interest! There was one talk in particular that I so wanted to attend! The talk was on the problem which I had studied a bit about it last semester, and after much thinking I decided to go for it.

Thankfully, that talk was on the same day that I meet with my independent study professor and I don't have any other classes. So after I told him of my interested in attending the talk, he encouraged me to go, we rearranged our meeting for that week and so I was ready to go.

But before making the trip I decided to make sure that I actually shall be allowed to attend the talk! I know that most talks at schools are open to public, but the talk series that I am attending at my school, is in a building that the IDs are checked at the entrance. I am not sure if I had showed a picture ID other than my school ID would I have been allowed to enter the building or not! So I wrote the organizer of the talk at my sister's former school and asked if I could attend their talk.

It turned out that the Professor who is organizing this year's talks had graduated from my current department a few years back, and so he told me to stop by his office when I arrived there. He was very nice and even sent me information on where I could park my car and a campus map!

So after my last class of the day I took the train and got to my sister's just before midnight. My sister went to work late the next day and so we spend the morning together, went to the gym and then had brunch. In the afternoon I went to the talk and left afterward.

I am so glad that I did go. It was a great talk and not only I learned a bit, but I got to see the problem that I am kindof/sortof familiar with, solved form a very different perspective.

During the talk I noticed that the talk was being recorded and I thought maybe it would be available over the net and so I could watch it from home. However, I found out later that unfortunately during the semester the talks are available to school community only!

My sister does not have a remote access privilege to her school network anymore, but she does have an ID to enter the library where she can get access to the campus network. So this weekend both Saturday morning and Sunday morning she came to the library with me, and using her privileges, I was able to watch the talks that I had missed. I even watched a few of them couple of times. I am learning so much from these talks.

So school is going very well. All three of my classes are great and I am on top of my work. My daily walk of 3-5 miles is done right on the schedule, lol, I have not missed even one day. My eating habit of vegan is working for me. According to the scale at my sister's gym I have lost over 4 pounds since December that I was there. I am not uncomfortable in my little basement area anymore! I have gotten used to its limitation, lol. So life is great at the moment. Well almost great! The only thing that is not going well for me is dating!

I have met someone that I really like, but I don't think the feeling is mutual! Actually I don't know much about him and doesn't seem that he wants to know much about me! But I can't help it! I have been thinking about him a lot! Unfortunately we are not running in the same circle so making appearance in his vicinity is not that practical, lol.

Sunday, February 13, 2011

I have been following a vegan diet ...

and it is going well.

Before the semester started I was looking for a diet that could work for me this semester.  Last semester, all in all, I think I went grocery shopping three times (once before the semester started, and twice during the semester), then I spend the rest of that day cooking, and then froze a single servings of a few dishes I made, so that it would be easy to heat for dinner, when I get home late and tired. During the day I survived on 3-4 Atkins bars and coffee.

In my basement area I neither have a stove, nor a big refrigerator, so going shopping a few times and cooking and freezing was not going to work! Also I wanted to give up processed food and caffeine.

Then I run into one of my best friend's sister-in-law and when I saw how trimmed she has gotten after giving birth to twins little over a year ago, I got intrigue. She told me that she has gone vegan and tries to eat mostly raw food. She suggested couple of books to me, which I read promptly. I am not convince that meat is bad for me, and diary is not good for me, but I felt that with the limited time and limited kitchen that I have, going vegan would work for me this semester.

It is actually a 180 degree from what I have been practicing in the past 7 or so years, and what I believed in. But then I had the opportunity to observe my mom's eating habit for the two weeks, and remembered neither I, nor any of my sisters had weight issues while we lived at home. And my mom, she has always been the weight she is now. Her secret, which is no secret, is that she eats fresh fruits and vegetables for most of her meals. She does not snack. Yes, she does eat meat, and diary, but not much. During the two weeks that I stayed with her and took up cooking for us, I saw how she filled her plate with salad and veggies, and took small pieces of the chicken or meat.

Anyhow, for the past few weeks, I have given up coffee, now I drink mostly green tea. At first I didn't like the taste of green tea, but I was able to tolerate it with a packet of Stavia. Now my tastebud has changed and can drink it without any sweetener.

Breakfast has been either oatmeal with almond milk, a banana and cinnamon, or fruit smoothie, with fresh squeezed orange or grapefruit or tangerine, a banana, and a mango. A couple of times I also made peanut butter sandwich with banana on top, very delicious, lol.

During the day I eat 3-4 small apples or tangerines, each time with half sandwich of peanut butter. Fruit is my trigger food, if I eat fruit alone I get very hungry within an hour. But if I eat some carb or protein with it, or within half an hour it, I am OK.

Dinner has been vegetable salads, or vegetable soups. I have been making vegetable soups in my slow cooker and I love my soups. I really don't like to cook meat in my slow cooker, so it has worked out great!

So yes, I have been spending more time cooking and preparing my meals but then I have been having more energy, even though I sleep less! I am still wide awake before 5 am, that is almost two hours earlier than last semester, and I go to bed around midnight, that is another two to two and half hours later than last semester. And I don't feel tired at all; instead I feel more alert and feel that I am more productive during the day. So yes it is going great.

School is going great too. My independent study course is really fun. But I have to write about school in another post.

I have been keeping up with my walking goal as well, even thought I have not updated my dailymile. A couple of weeks ago, there were a few days that it was not easy to walk at least 3 miles a day outside, but I managed somehow!

I spent last night here at my parents, and I am taking today off from going to the library, instead am spending it with my parents, sisters and their families. I am going home early this afternoon to get ready! I have a date tonight, lol.

Happy Valentine's Day.